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  • Puppet Master: Axis of Evil (2010)

    Puppet Master: Axis of Evil (2010)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]After the release of Puppet Master: The Legacy in 2003, Charles Band agreed that the series was in turmoil. Having rebranded his company as Full Moon Features, Band announced several sequels to past series in 2008. One of the sequels announced was a new Puppet Master movie that returned to Part 3’s WWII setting. To that end, Band hired series veteran David DeCoteau to direct and writer Dominic Muir for the screenplay. Like Killjoy 3, this entry would be filmed at ACE Studios in Foshan, Guangdong, China, founded by co-producer Henry Luk. In place of the original “Videozone,” Charles Band introduced the “Vidcasts,” a series of behind-the-scenes videos fans could follow along. Fans were cautious about whether or not this would live up to the prime era of Full Moon. After having its 2009 release pushed back, Puppet Master: Axis of Evil was released on DVD and Blu-Ray in 2010.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”60″ bar_bg_color=”#EDF000″ _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    At the Bodega Bay Inn in 1939, young carpenter Danny Coogan (Levi Fiehler) witnesses two Nazi spies entering Toulon’s room. The spies, Max (Tom Sandoval) and Klaus (Aaron Riber), find that Toulon killed himself and leave the hotel empty-handed. After they go, Danny finds Toulon’s puppet trunk hidden away and takes it back home with him. Meanwhile, Max and Klaus reconvene with Japanese saboteur Lady Ozu (Ada Chao), who plans to destroy an American manufacturing plant. Danny’s girlfriend Beth (Jenna Gallaher) at the plant works in the office and gets roped into the sabotaging plot. Soon enough, the Nazis kill Danny’s mother and brother, holding Beth hostage in a Chinese opera house. The Nazis are interested in Toulon’s secret to bringing the dead back to life, which is how the puppets move. With help from Blade, Pinhead, Tunneler, Leech Woman, Jester, and a Ninja puppet, Danny must stop the Nazis.

     

    Review

    While it doesn’t quite live up to Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge, Puppet Master: Axis of Evil is decent. For their low budget, the filmmakers managed to produce a movie that doesn’t look half bad. DeCoteau takes full advantage of the Chinatown locations and injects plenty of fog and shadows to add a noir look. Admittedly, it’s evident in the opening when they cut between the stock footage and the new footage. Still, the attention to detail is impressive, and the recreation of Toulon’s room, in particular, is solid. Also, the new score from longtime composer Richard Band is excellent, mixing the original music with a new track. Though David Allen’s stop-motion is sorely missed, the puppet effects look pretty good, though some of the movements are jerky. Also, adding a new ninja puppet is a nice touch that fits with the regulars.

    Performance-wise, the cast generally does a good job, though there are some that stick out in a wrong way. Levi Fiehler is likable as a young man who wants to serve his country despite his condition. Jenna Gallaher is solid as his love interest Beth, and Taylor M. Graham stands out as Danny’s older brother. When it comes to the villains, the acting ranges from good to awful, though not without some caveats. Tom Sandoval is easily the best of the villains, while Ada Chao gives a very stilted and unnatural performance. I’m unsure if it’s because she doesn’t speak English and had to learn her lines phonetically, but it sounds awful. At slightly under 90 minutes, there isn’t a ton of filler, and it gets the job done relatively quickly. Overall, Puppet Master: Axis of Evil isn’t one of the best, but it’s not one of the worst either.

     

    Buy Puppet Master: Axis of Evil from:

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • The Count of Monte Cristo (2002)

    The Count of Monte Cristo (2002)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_fullwidth_header title=”Special Review” subhead=”This review is a special request from Patreon supporter Patrick Glauber. If you’d like to support me on Patreon, click the button below.” text_orientation=”center” button_one_text=”Visit Patreon” button_one_url=”https://www.patreon.com/filmnerd” background_overlay_color=”#f96854″ _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” title_level=”h2″ background_color=”#f96854″ custom_button_one=”on” button_one_bg_color=”#052d49″ custom_margin=”||||false|false” custom_padding=”25px||25px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_fullwidth_header][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]

    In 1844, Alexandre Dumas published the novel Le Comte de Monte-Cristo, which became an instant hit in Europe. Dumas and Auguste Maquet first adapted the book to the stage in four parts between 1848 and 1851. With the invention of film, it wouldn’t be long until Dumas’ novel got its first big screen adaptation. The earliest movie version was a silent film in 1908, a filmed version of the stage play. The first sound version, directed by Rowland V. Lee and starring Robert Donat, was released in 1934, spawning two sequels. Between 1942 and 1986, several movie adaptations from around the world were made, including Mexico, Egypt, Malaysia, and Hong Kong. In the early 2000s, Disney acquired the rights under their Touchstone Pictures label and hired Kevin Reynolds for an adaptation. His film version, titled simply The Count of Monte Cristo, hit theaters in January 2002.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”80″ bar_bg_color=”#7CDA24″ _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    In 1815 France, sailor Edmond Dantès (Jim Caviezel) becomes captain and plans on marrying his girlfriend Mercédès (Dagmara Domińczyk). However, his old friend Fernand Mondego (Guy Pearce), fueled by jealousy, frames Edmond for treason and has him imprisoned. Six years later, Edmond meets fellow prisoner Abbé Faria (Richard Harris), who has been imprisoned for eleven years. Faria has been digging an escape tunnel, and Edmond agrees to help if he teaches him how to read/write. Over the next seven years, Edmond becomes more intelligent and a gifted swordsman as he helps Faria escape. Unfortunately, Faria dies, so Edmond escapes on his own and joins a group of smugglers. Using a map Faria gave him, Edmond and fellow smuggler Jacopo (Luis Guzmán) find tons of treasure and become aristocrats. Having declared himself “The Count of Monte Cristo,” Edmond seeks revenge against Fernand and hopes to win Mercédès back.

     

    Review

    I’m not sure how accurate this movie is to the book, but The Count of Monte Cristo is still fantastic. This movie is the sort of old-fashioned, swashbuckling adventure film that we don’t see very often anymore. Considering this movie cost roughly $35 million to produce, this looks way more expensive than the budget would suggest. Most of the filming was in Malta, with some in Ireland, and the filmmakers took full advantage of these locations. After directing huge adventure films like Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and Waterworld, Kevin Reynolds was a perfect choice. He keeps the plot moving at a crisp pace and never bogs the story down with pointless filler scenes. It helps that everyone in the cast does a great job, particularly Caviezel, Pearce, Harris, and Guzmán. In addition, a pre-Man of Steel Henry Cavill makes an appearance as the son of Mondego and Mercédès.

    Caviezel makes for a likable protagonist that grows from a humble sailor into a confident count on his revenge quest. Pearce does a great job as a hateable antagonist that you enjoy seeing get his comeuppance. Even though his screentime is short, Richard Harris brings a lot as the sage-like Faria that trains Edmond. Similarly, Luis Guzmán stands out as Edmond’s right-hand man, who sticks by his side no matter what. The sword-fighting sequences, particularly the final battle between Edmond and Fernand, are expertly choreographed and well-staged. Admittedly, the first act drags in quite a few spots as it’s mostly exposition leading up to Edmond’s framing. Aside from that, this is an enjoyable swashbuckling adventure that’s still entertaining, even if it doesn’t do anything revolutionary. Overall, The Count of Monte Cristo is an exciting adventure film with a great cast, thrilling action, and fantastic locations.

     

    Buy The Count of Monte Cristo from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3bjcpO9.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Zombie Island Massacre (1984)

    Zombie Island Massacre (1984)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]Born in Newark in 1922, John N. Carter has worked as an editor in the film industry since the 1960s. His first credit was the 1968 sports movie Paper Lion, directed by Alex Marsh with Alan Alda and Lauren Hutton. He also edited the 1972 film The Hearbreak Kid, which earned Oscar nominations for actors Eddie Albert and Jeannie Berlin. Carter got a BAFTA award nomination for best editing for his work on Milos Forman’s 1971 film Taking Off. In the early 1980s, Carter got the chance to direct his first feature film, originally titled The Last Picnic. The film gained notable publicity for starring Rita Jenrette, who made headlines after having sex on the Capitol steps. Filming took place in Jamaica for five weeks, from January to March 1983, and Troma picked up the distribution rights. Before its 1984 release, Troma changed the title to Zombie Island Massacre.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”40″ bar_bg_color=”#E09900″ _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.2″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    A group of American tourists is vacationing in the Caribbean and decide to stop at a nearby island. The local tour guide (Dennis Stephenson) takes them to St. Marie to witness a live voodoo ritual. The voodoo priest (Trevor Reid) uses goat blood to bring a dead man back from the grave before dispatching him. As the group returns to their bus, they find that the driver is gone, and there’s blood everywhere. With few options available, they decide to hold up in a nearby house until help hopefully arrives. Unfortunately, a group of locals starts swarming the place and picking off the tourists. Heads get chopped off, bodies get stabbed, and machetes make direct contact with people’s faces. But who will make it out alive as these unlucky tourists try to survive the zombie island massacre? However, not everything is as it seems on this island.

     

    Review

    To get this out of the way, the title Zombie Island Massacre isn’t entirely false, but it’s still a lie. There is an island and a massacre (kind of), but there aren’t any zombies or at least traditional ones. We get voodoo zombies, but even that’s a stretch since we only get the one ritual scene. The movie plays more like a slasher film than a zombie film, from the body count to the death scenes. The fact that Harry Manfredini, composer of the Friday the 13th movies, recycled his score adds to it. Even then, the kills aren’t all that interesting, as most occur offscreen with little to no suspense. There is a surprisingly decent decapitation where the head moves a bit before dying, but that’s about it. Aside from that, it’s primarily dull scenes of people sitting around doing nothing and talking nonsense.

    Most of the acting is pretty sub-standard, with everyone doing the bare minimum with their performances. Rita Jenrette does her best with the bit of material she has to work with. Granted, the filmmakers most likely hired her because she could do nudity, which there’s plenty of here. To John N. Carter’s credit, the direction is pretty solid, and they took full advantage of the filming locations. Also, there are some genuinely funny moments, but whether they’re amusing on purpose is anyone’s guess. In addition to Manfredini’s score, there’s a pretty catchy reggae song on the soundtrack that’s worth a listen. Still, these few positive aspects can’t compensate for the viewing experience’s dullness. The movie is an endurance test best enjoyed with friends and drinks at an hour and twenty-eight minutes. Overall, Zombie Island Massacre isn’t awful, but there are much better slasher/zombie films you could be watching instead.

     

    Buy Zombie Island Massacre from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3CdcfoQ.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • The NeverEnding Story (1984)

    The NeverEnding Story (1984)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_fullwidth_header title=”Special Review” subhead=”This review is a special request from Patreon supporter BodaciousCNO. If you’d like to support me on Patreon, click the button below.” text_orientation=”center” button_one_text=”Visit Patreon” button_one_url=”https://www.patreon.com/filmnerd” background_overlay_color=”#f96854″ _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” title_level=”h2″ background_color=”#f96854″ custom_button_one=”on” button_one_bg_color=”#052d49″ custom_margin=”||||false|false” custom_padding=”25px||25px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_fullwidth_header][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]

    In 1979, West German publisher Thienemann Verlag published Die unendliche Geschichte by author Michael Ende, which became an instant bestseller. The book was translated to English by Ralph Manheim and hit English and American book stores in 1983. Like in its home country, the book was also a hit, and it wasn’t long before movie studios came calling. German producer Bernd Eichinger became interested when his daughter suggested he adapt the book into a movie. Eichinger hired Wolfgang Petersen, who recently earned two Oscar nominations for 1981’s Das Boot, to helm the project. Michael Ende initially worked with Petersen as a script advisor but left when Petersen majorly rewrote the script. Ende felt the film deviated so much from the book that he tried suing the producers but ultimately lost. Regardless, Warner Bros. picked up the distribution rights and released The NeverEnding Story in the US in July 1984.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”90″ bar_bg_color=”#7CDA24″ _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    Bastian (Barret Oliver) is a shy 10-year-old kid who’s shy, loves books, and lives with his widowed dad. On his way to school, Bastian runs from a couple of bullies, and he hides out in a local bookstore. There, Bastian meets the owner Mr. Coreander (Thomas Hill), who warns him about The NeverEnding Story, claiming it isn’t safe. With his curiosity piqued, Bastian grabs the book and runs off to school, where he hides in the attic. He starts reading the story about Fantasia, a fantasy land threatened by an evil force called “The Nothing.” A young warrior named Atreyu (Noah Hathaway) quests for a cure for the Childlike Empress (Tami Stronach). It turns out she’s the only one who can stop “The Nothing” before it devours all of Fantasia. Along the way, Atreyu meets several characters who will either help him or try to stop him.

     

    Review

    The NeverEnding Story is one of those movies where you could add darker elements and still get a PG rating. It’s from a bygone era of children’s movies where you could take risks and add dark subject matter. There’s the infamous scene where Atreyu’s horse lets himself sink into the Swamps of Sadness because of his depression. You also have characters who are apathetic over the situation, whether it’s the giant turtle Morla or the Rockbiter. It helps that there are characters like Falkor, the luck dragon, and a couple of gnomes to balance the dreariness. They help to show kids that, even when things seem dark, there’s always hope if you continue to persevere. Not every kid’s movie has to have darker moments, but it’s a shame that everyone plays it so safe nowadays. But that’s a discussion for another time.

    For an 80s family film, the child acting is surprisingly good, particularly from Noah Hathaway as Atreyu. He embodies all the traits we aspire to have: courage, determination, a willingness never to give up, and fierce devotion. Also, the puppets and animatronics are astounding, especially the Rockbiter, Morla the turtle, and Falkor, the luck dragon. Each of them feels like a fully realized character with weight, something sorely lacking in today’s CGI-riddled entertainment. Admittedly, some compositing shots stick out severely, but that’s par for the course for movies around this time. It’s also refreshing to have a fantasy film where the villain isn’t a wizard or monster but a nonphysical being. The Nothing could almost be a metaphor for kids losing their imagination, which this movie should hopefully reinvigorate. Overall, The NeverEnding Story is a beautiful, albeit bleak fantasy film that kids and adults of all ages can enjoy.

     

    Buy The NeverEnding Story from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3uV7U2S.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • The Alchemist (1983)

    The Alchemist (1983)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]Between 1979 and 1984, Charles Band struggled to make a name for himself in the film industry. His producing partners Irwin Yablans and Joseph Wolf ousted Band from Meda Home Entertainment, which he helped establish in 1978. Around this time, Charles got involved with producer Billy Fine and his company Ideal Films. He and producer Lawrence Applebaum were working on a project with director Craig Mitchell that wasn’t going well. About halfway through the shoot, Fine and Applebaum decided to hire Band to replace Mitchell as the director. Charles brought regulars like Ted Nicolaou, J Larry Carroll, Steve Neill, Paul Gentry, and his brother Richard. Despite being shot in 1981, it wasn’t released in the UK until 1983 and in the US in 1985. It wasn’t until March 1986 that The Alchemist got a wide theatrical release in the United States.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”40″ bar_bg_color=”#E09900″ _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    In 1871, the alchemist Aaron (Robert Ginty) saw a dark wizard, DelGatto (Robert Glaudini), seducing his wife, Anna. Aaron tries stopping DelGatto only to stab his wife accidentally, which curses him to live forever as a monster. Cut to 1955, where Lenora (Lucinda Dooling) has quit her waitress job and is driving through the desert. Along the way, she picks up hitchhiker Cameron (John Sanderford) when she starts experiencing weird flashes of DelGatto. Elsewhere, Aaron stalks the nearby woods as a monster while his elderly daughter Esther (Viola Kates Stimpson) cares for him. Soon enough, Aaron and Lenora cross paths, and it turns out she’s the reincarnation of his late wife, Anna. With DelGatto hot on their trail, they decide to team up to free Aaron of his curse and stop DelGatto. It’s the ultimate magical duel as the dark wizard clashes with the alchemist!

     

    Review

    Having now seen The Alchemist, I fully understand why the film took so long to get a release. It’s because this is one of the most boring movies I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying a lot. The movie has a decent, albeit goofy, beginning and some solid opening credits, but everything grinds to a halt afterward. Most of the film centers on two bland leads that offer nothing of substance and barely progress the story. Every so often, we’ll cut back to Robert Ginty struggling with his curse, which is mildly interesting. Robert Ginty’s performance is way too good for this movie, especially coming off the wildly entertaining vigilante film, The Exterminator. Speaking of things being way too good, Richard Band’s score is epic, bombastic, and belongs in a better fantasy film. Plus, the finale offers some decent creature and gore effects, but that’s about it.

    As easy as it would be to criticize Charles Band as a director, I can’t blame him, considering the circumstances. Unlike Parasite 3D, Metalstorm, or Trancers, this was a work-for-hire job rather than something he had invested in making. It doesn’t help that much of the nighttime footage is so physically dark that it’s hard to tell what’s happening. That might explain why cinematographer Andrew W. Friend only has one other credit to his name, 1982’s The Concrete Jungle. Honestly, there’s not much else I can talk about, considering what little happens during its one-hour and eighteen-minute runtime. It might be worth a watch for curious onlookers and Charles Band completionists, but it’s best avoided otherwise. Granted, Charles Band may not have started Empire Pictures without this movie, so there’s that at least. Overall, The Alchemist is a dull excuse for a fantasy-horror film that’s better left forgotten.

     

    Buy The Alchemist from Amazon: https://amzn.to/4iPqFed.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • The First Turn-On!! (1983)

    The First Turn-On!! (1983)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]By the early 1980s, Troma wasn’t the only studio producing sex comedies as Hollywood soon followed in their wake. In 1982, 20th Century Fox released Bob Clark’s Porky’s, which became the fifth highest-grossing film of the year. This success led to a wave of teen sex comedies, including Risky Business, Bachelor Party, The Last American Virgin, etc. Seeing this as the end of their run, Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz decided to produce one more sex comedy. For inspiration, Herz remembered how he met his wife while attending summer camp as a child. Since summer camp is a time most people remember fondly, they chose to base their movie around that. With their small cast and crew, they filmed in parts of New York and Pennsylvania for this summer camp romp. After screening at Cannes in May 1983, The First Turn-On made its way onto screens that November.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”65″ bar_bg_color=”#EDF000″ _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    It’s the last day of summer at Camp Big-Tee-Pee, and the kids can’t wait to go home. Before that, hippie counselor Michelle Farmer (Georgia Harrell) takes some of the campers on a hiking trip. Four campers – Mitch (Michael Sanville), Henry (Googy Gress), Danny (John Flood), and Annie (Heidi Miller) – decide to break off. They go to a remote cave to smoke some marijuana, only for Michelle to catch them in the act. Unfortunately, a freak landslide causes a cave-in, trapping our stoned-out campers and their counselor with little hope of escape. To pass the time, they decide to each tell the story of how they lost their virginity. Mitch talks about losing it to a hooker, Danny meeting his dream girl, and Annie frolicking in a barn. As further hijinks ensue at the camp, our five heroes recount how they had their first turn-on!

     

    Review

    While Lloyd Kaufman considers Stuck on You the best of the sex comedies, fans say The First Turn-On is superior. As ambitious as the previous movie was, I agree with the fans who prefer this one over the last three. Like the previous film, this one is an anthology movie, but the stories here actually involve the central characters. Because of this, the stories feel more personal instead of random sketches with nothing relevant to the overall narrative. However, one problem with this film is that it frequently cuts away to what’s happening at camp. These scenes hardly further the story and feel like they’re out of a completely different movie. What we get is a weird cross between a summer camp movie and a sex anthology you’d find on Cinemax. It doesn’t help that, without spoiling too much, the stories ultimately have an unsatisfying payoff.

    The acting is about what you’d expect from this kind of film, with everyone constantly mugging for the camera. While most of the cast is relatively unknown, there are a few stand-outs for Troma fans. Mark Torgl, who later played Melvin in The Toxic Avenger, has a memorable role as a disgusting ex-lover of Michelle. Speaking of, one of the mayor’s goons in that film was actor Al Pia, who played the camp director here. Probably the biggest name here is a then-unknown Vincent D’Onofrio, four years before his iconic role in Full Metal Jacket. While he’s only on-screen briefly, you can see some of the manic energy he’d bring to the Kubrick classic. There’s so much nudity, crass humor, and tasteless gags that it becomes overkill, which might be why they stopped. Overall, The First Turn-On is arguably the best of the four, but it’s more of the same.

     

    Buy The First Turn-On from Amazon: https://amzn.to/4fNXZl1.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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    Where to watch The First Turn-On!! (1983)

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  • The Northman (2022)

    The Northman (2022)

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    Having been born in Sweden, actor Alexander Skarsgård was fascinated by Viking history and wanted to make a Viking-themed movie. Warner Bros attached him to a 2011 film called The Vanguard, which unfortunately never came to fruition. Fast forward to 2016, when filmmaker Robert Eggers went on vacation to Iceland with his wife, Alexandra Shaker. During the trip, Eggers met singer/songwriter Björk, who introduced him to writer/collaborator Sjón, who Eggers would reach out to later. In 2017, Eggers met Skarsgård to discuss future projects when the idea of a Viking-themed movie came up. Eggers announced the film in 2019, with Skarsgård, Anya Taylor-Joy, Nicole Kidman, and Willem Dafoe in the cast. Filming was supposed to start in March 2020 but got delayed to August due to COVID-19. After lengthy post-production, The Northman premiered at the Rigoletto Cinema in March 2022 before a wide release that April.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”90″ bar_bg_color=”#7CDA24″ _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    In AD 895, Prince Amleth (Oscar Novak) witnesses his uncle Fjölnir (Claes Bang) kill his father, King Aurvandill (Ethan Hawke). In a state of panic, Amleth grabs a boat and rows away, swearing vengeance on his uncle. Years later, an adult Amleth (Alexander Skarsgård) is part of a band of Vikings, pillaging and ravaging local towns. During a raid, Amleth encounters a Seeress (Björk), who tells Amleth that he’ll find vengeance and where to find Fjölnir. Amleth, posing as a slave, is taken to Fjölnir’s farm, where he sees his mother Gudrún (Nicole Kidman) married him. He also meets Olga (Anya Taylor-Joy), a Slavic witch who becomes his lover and works with him to escape. Over time, they slowly pick off Fjölnir’s men and create paranoia around the farm, while Amleth gains favor with Fjölnir. Soon enough, he learns who Amleth is, and the final battle commences.

     

    Review

    People expecting something like Robert Eggers’ other work, The Witch or The Lighthouse, might be somewhat disappointed. Sure, The Northman doesn’t have the horror elements of those two movies, but it’s nonetheless a remarkable film. With a budget of around $70-$90 million, this is easily Eggers’ largest and most ambitious movie to date. Thankfully, the bigger budget doesn’t mean the qualities that made Eggers famous are diluted or dialed back. Like his two previous films, this one has an extraordinary, almost dreamlike quality that makes it feel other-worldly. Some people have compared this movie to Conan The Barbarian, but it’s not quite as bombastic as the 1982 epic. Sure, there’s plenty of action and brutal violence, but the film has a much slower pace and takes its time. This movie isn’t a straight-up action/adventure film but a methodical, suspenseful epic emphasizing story and character.

    Like his previous efforts, Eggers’ direction is top-notch, and he makes excellent use of the Irish filming locations. Alexander Skarsgård is an absolute powerhouse playing Prince Amleth, bringing a quiet intensity to the role. While he doesn’t have much dialogue, his physique and glowering stare tell you he means business. Anya Taylor-Joy is captivating as a forest witch who seems inexplicably drawn to Amleth but is nonetheless loyal to him. Claes Bang works as the central antagonist, though there are moments of humanity where you almost sympathize with him. Perhaps the biggest stand-out is Nicole Kidman, who plays her part very deviously like she’s ready to betray her husband. While the story is a fairly simple revenge story, the acting, pacing, style, and action make it compelling. Overall, The Northman is another great film from Robert Eggers and easily one of the best movies of 2022.

     

    Buy The Northman from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RCowX5.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Shrunken Heads (1994)

    Shrunken Heads (1994)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]In 1972, Richard Elfman formed The Mystic Knights of Oingo Boingo, a musical theater troupe that ran for several years. However, his passions turned towards filmmaking, and he made his brother Danny the leader, who formed the band Oingo Boingo. Meanwhile, Richard set off to make his first feature film, the musical comedy Forbidden Zone in 1980. Despite negative reviews and poor box office, the film gained a considerable cult following thanks to midnight showings. Years later, Zone‘s co-writer Matthew Bright got a job working for Full Moon Features, writing Dark Angel: The Ascent. Bright had another screenplay called The Call of Mr. Sumatra, and he convinced Charles Band to have Richard Elfman direct. Charles had huge plans for this film, even announcing this would be Full Moon’s first theatrical release. Retitled Shrunken Heads, the film had a brief theatrical run in May 1994 before going to video that October.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”80″ bar_bg_color=”#7CDA24″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]

    Synopsis

    Tommy Larson (Aeryk Egan) is a good-natured kid who spends time hanging with his pal Bill Turner (Bo Sharon). They also make friends with the new kid Freddie Thompson (Darris Love), through their shared love of comic books. Unfortunately, the boys are the targets of a local gang called The Vipers, led by Vinnie Benedetti (A.J. Damato). It turns out that Vinnie is working for local mob boss Big Moe (Meg Foster) and wants to prove himself. However, Vinnie gets in trouble when the boys videotape his gang and try stealing money slips from Moe. Vinne kills the boys to prove his loyalty, but the local witch doctor Mr. Sumatra (Julius Harris) has his plans. Sumatra revives the boys as shrunken heads with unique abilities to exact revenge on their killers and destroy evil. But as Tommy, Bill, and Freddie follow Sumatra’s order, their humanity starts to fade.

     

    Review

    Reportedly, this was going to be Full Moon’s first theatrical release, and I can see it doing reasonably well. Compared to most other Full Moon projects around this time, Shrunken Heads is easily one of their most ambitious. It looks incredible for a film that cost $800,000, thanks to the production design and Richard Elfman’s direction. Elfman gives the movie a distinct comic book style mixed with some film noir elements circa the 1940s. There are also some impressive miniatures used to create cityscapes, and a motorized motion camera help bring them to life. Everyone from the kids to the veteran does a fantastic job, with Meg Foster and Julius Harris being the highlights. Foster is believable as an androgynous gangster who exhibits all the familiar traits while subverting them. This movie was Harris’ last film role before his death in 2004, and he made the most of it.

    Egan, Sharon, and Love work as friends, just trying to have fun while dodging the bullies and navigating the streets. A.J. Damato has fun as the stereotypical greaser bully, though he has moments where he doubts what he’s doing. Rebecca Herbst also does a solid job as Tommy’s love interest Sally, and she has terrific chemistry with Egan. Once the boys become the shrunken heads, it becomes a free-for-all as they fly around and exact their revenge. Admittedly, this is where the film’s lack of budget shows, namely in the compositing shots of the heads flying. The sequences are about on par with the compositing in Dollman, and they add to the film’s campy charm. Adding to that charm is the appropriately haunting theme by Danny Elfman and the eerie score by Richard Band. Overall, Shrunken Heads is an underrated gem in Full Moon’s catalog worth checking out.

     

    Buy Shrunken Heads from:

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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    Where to watch Shrunken Heads (1994)

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  • Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

    Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

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    On a $180 million budget, Thor: Ragnarok grossed over $850 million worldwide, becoming the 9th highest-grossing film of 2017. On top of that, the film earned the series’ highest ratings, earning a 93% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Given the overwhelming success, the executives at Marvel approached filmmaker Taika Waititi to direct the next installment. Though his contract stated he would retire after Avengers: Endgame, Chris Hemsworth stayed on so long as Waititi stuck around. At San Diego Comic-Con 2019, Marvel president Kevin Feige announced the fourth film planned for a release in November 2021. Along with Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson, Natalie Portman agreed to return after leaving the series following Thor: The Dark World. They planned to start filming in late 2020 but pushed it back to early 2021 due to the COVID-19 Pandemic. After premiering in June 2022, Thor: Love and Thunder hit theaters nationwide that July.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”70″ bar_bg_color=”#EDF000″ _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    After palling around with the Guardians of the Galaxy for a while, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) feels empty and alone. However, he learns that someone called Gorr the God Butcher (Christian Bale) has been killing various gods. His old friend Sif (Jamie Alexander) warns Thor that Gorr’s next target will be New Asgard, so he flies off. Upon his arrival, he and Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) battle with shadow monsters summoned by Gorr’s Necrosword. During the fight, Thor sees his old hammer, Mjolnir, being wielded by his ex-girlfriend Dr. Jane Foster (Natalie Portman). After Gorr kidnaps several Asgardian children, Thor and co travel to Omnipotence City to recruit other gods for help. Unfortunately, Zeus (Russell Crowe) rejects their plea, so our heroes steal his thunderbolt and head out to save the children. Will they successfully defeat Gorr and rescue the children, or will they be the God Butcher’s next victims?

     

    Review

    Unfortunately, Thor: Love and Thunder is a step down in quality compared to the last movie though not without merits. For one, Chris Hemsworth offers the same level of charm and charisma we’ve come to expect as Thor. Also, Christian Bale makes for one of the better MCU villains, playing Gorr as a tragic yet terrifying figure. Surprisingly, Natalie Portman seems to be enjoying her time here, at least compared to Thor: The Dark World. While she appeared to be waiting for the check to clear in that movie, she seems much more lively here. Portman has excellent chemistry with Hemsworth, and she manages to be both all-powerful and vulnerable as a character. Like any great Marvel movie, this one has plenty of fun action sequences that get more exciting. The soundtrack is a solid blend of synth and 80s rock, particularly some of Guns N’ Roses’ best hits.

    Sadly, just like most MCU movies in recent years, this one doubles down on the humor to its detriment. Thor: Ragnarok had plenty of jokes, but Taika Waititi balanced the comedy with the more dramatic scenes. But here, it feels like five minutes of screentime can’t go by without some gag or quip sprinkled in. Admittedly, some jokes stick the landing, but even the best jokes get dragged to the ground after a while. The worst is when the heroes go to Omnipotence City, where they try cramming as many sight gags as possible. It’s another instance of tonal inconsistency plaguing many MCU movies, and I hope it gets resolved soon. While the Marvel Cinematic Universe is known for its humor, I hope they get better at balancing the tone. Overall, Thor: Love and Thunder is enjoyable enough, but it feels like a step in the wrong direction.

    [/et_pb_text][et_pb_code _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]Buy your tickets now to watch “Thor: Love & Thunder” playing in theaters starting July 8th![/et_pb_code][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Pieces (1982)

    Pieces (1982)

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    After graduating from the Madrid Film School, aspiring filmmaker Juan Piquer Simon directed 1964’s España Violenta, aka Violent Spain. The short was about the Spanish Civil War and was so controversial that the fascist government had Simon arrested. In 1977, Simon made his first fictional film, Where Time Began, based on the novel by Jules Verne. The film received US distribution through American International Pictures, where Simon met producers Samuel Arkoff and Dick Randall. Simon continued working with Randall on movies like Supersonic Man and Mystery on Monster Island, another Jules Verne adaptation. It was the early 1980s, and slasher films like Friday the 13th made huge profits at the box office. Wanting to capitalize on this, producers Randall and Steve Minasian asked Simon to direct a slasher film called Jigsaw. Simon agreed, and his first horror film, Pieces, premiered in Spain in 1982 and in the US in 1983.

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    Synopsis

    At a Boston college, a mysterious figure is stalking and killing various girls with a chainsaw in a gruesome fashion. Lt. Bracken (Christopher George) and his partner, Sgt Holden (Frank Braña), are hot on the case. They interview various staff members, including Dean Foley (Edmund Purdom) and Professor Brown (Jack Taylor), who they suspect is responsible. To help with the investigation, Bracken enlists local student Kendall (Ian Sera) and former tennis player Mary Riggs (Linda Day). After each murder, the killer takes various body parts off his victims, such as their arms and legs. As the body count continues, numerous suspects begin to emerge, including the groundskeeper Willard (Paul L. Smith). Who is this mysterious co-ed killer, and why are they taking pieces of their victims? Also, who randomly attacks people in the middle of the night because of lousy chop suey?

     

    Review

    While American slasher films like The Prowler and The Burning were gruesome, Pieces takes it to a new level. The kills have a vicious quality that could only come from foreign slasher films, both in gore and tone. From the schoolgirl getting decapitated with a chainsaw to the reporter getting a knife through her mouth, they’re something else. The filmmakers manage to make the kills insanely bloody in a cartoonish way while mixing in some genuine sleaze. In one of the film’s most infamous kills, the victim urinates herself right before getting sliced in half. The movie works in some Giallo qualities, namely the cloaked figure with black gloves and how everyone is a suspect. Everyone has unique qualities that make them stand out and give you reasons to think they might be guilty. Could it be the neurotic professor, the womanizing student, or the standoffish dean?

    The late great Christopher George, who was the gym coach in the movie Graduation Day, is terrific as always. He has enough charisma and smartass quips to make him believable as a cop, and his scenes are a treat. Character actor Edmund Purdom from Absurd does a good job playing an unassuming dean that slowly reveals his dark secrets. Admittedly, Linda Day, aka Lynda Day George, is about as good at acting as she is at playing tennis. Also, it’s probably just the bad dubbing, but Ian Sera comes off a bit bland as the oddly womanizing Kendall. There are some dead spots during the film’s hour and twenty-five-minute runtime, but it never feels dull. It helps that the score, which is mainly composed of stock music, helps add a creepy feeling to the proceedings. Overall, Pieces is, like the tagline says, exactly what you think it is.

     

    Buy Pieces from Amazon: https://amzn.to/39vVJlM.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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