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  • Bad CGI Gator (2023)

    Bad CGI Gator (2023)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.23.1″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]Love it or hate it, computer-generated imagery or CGI has been a tool in filmmaking for decades that won’t go away. While CGI had been experimented on since the 50s, the technology wasn’t fully realized until the early 90s. Blockbusters like Terminator 2: Judgement Day and Jurassic Park revolutionized visual effects and showed what CGI could do. However, even as the technology continued to grow, there’s always been some pushback by people who found the effects unrealistic. This isn’t helped by how most movies made in the last 20 years have mainly used digital effects. Plenty of low-budget studios crank out movies with intentionally poor digital effects, most notably The Asylum with their Sharknado series. Wanting to capitalize on this trend, Charles Band’s son Zalman wrote a screenplay based around a digital lizard. With Danny Draven directing, Bad CGI Gator premiered on Full Moon’s streaming service in late 2023.

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    Synopsis

    College grads Chad (Ben VanderMey), Sarah (Rebecca Stoughton), Pearce (Cooper Drippe), and Paisley (Sarah Buchanan) are celebrating Spring Break. They rent a cabin in the Georgia bayou along with buzzkill Sam (Michael Bonini) and Chad’s sister Hope (Maddie Lane). To try to go viral on social media, Sarah leads the others in throwing their school laptops into the lake. Little do they know that a miniature digital alligator starts growing when it comes in contact with their computers. As the group continues drinking and trying to get lucky, the gator lurks outside, looking for its next victim. Before long, the gator eats the college grads one by one, with those left scrambling for a way out. While the gator moves around unnaturally, flies through the air, and continues growing, our heroes try to stay together. It’s terror rendered too cheaply when our heroes face the Bad CGI Gator!

     

    Review

    If nothing else, Bad CGI Gator lives up to its title: it’s got a gator made from bad CGI. Like Cocaine Bear, the movie gives you exactly what the title promises, so you can’t accuse it of false advertising. Unfortunately, that’s where anything positive I can say about this movie ends since it doesn’t have much else to offer. Aside from its titular gimmick, this is another feeble excuse for a film that Full Moon seems fine with releasing. For one, this barely qualifies as a movie since its runtime is just slightly under an hour. Granted, I’m glad they didn’t add pointless filler to increase the length artificially, but it’s still worth pointing out. It feels like Charles and Zalman had an idea for something that could be amusing but didn’t think much further. Well, at least father and son are working on movies together.

    The cast seems to follow the Eli Roth school of acting, which means being as unlikeable as possible. I’m sure they’re trying to make fun of younger generations obsessed with social media, but it falls flat. Just because most of these characters are going to die doesn’t mean they should speak only in stereotypical bro talk. It doesn’t help that almost everyone plays their part as if they’re in a comedy, which often doesn’t work. It’s much funnier when the cast acts like they’re in a serious drama, contrasting with the silliness around them. Michael Bonini plays the stereotypical nerdy guy, but he is more like a football player trying to be a loser. My favorite character in the movie is Hope, played effectively by Maddie Lane, who seems just as annoyed as me. Thankfully, she’s one of the few survivors, so the movie’s got that going for it.

    Despite my criticisms and issues with the film, this is one of those movies that’s almost critic-proof. Much like the Sharknado series or movies like Llamageddon, this was intentionally made as a bad movie. While there’s undoubtedly an audience for this kind of bad movie, I’m not part of that audience. To me, the best bad movies are the accidentally bad ones, either due to incompetence or the filmmakers not caring. For example, The Room is infinitely more entertaining despite being poorly made, horribly written, and badly acted. You can tell Tommy Wiseau tried making a great drama but failed in the best way possible due to incompetence. Danny Draven’s film may provide a few laughs, but it will be quickly forgotten within a month or two. Overall, Bad CGI Gator has nothing much going for it besides a funny title and a cheesy gimmick.

     

    Buy Bad CGI Gator from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3UwKzkY.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • The Room (2003)

    The Room (2003)

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    When it comes to bad movies, they’re typically harmless and will be quickly forgotten about before too long. However, some become legendary, such as Manos: The Hands of Fate, Plan 9 from Outer Space, or Troll 2. Enter Tommy Wiseau, a man of mysterious origins who had dreams of making it big in Hollywood. After seeing 1999’s The Talented Mr. Ripley, Wiseau was inspired to write a stageplay that was quickly rejected. Then, he tried adapting it to a novel, which was also rejected, so he decided to make a movie instead. After acquiring a $6 million budget, a mystery yet to be solved, he set out to make his masterpiece. Four months of agonizing shooting followed, plagued with issues like last-minute replacements, poor decisions, and crew members walking off. With everything said and done, Tommy Wiseau’s vanity project, The Room, was released in 2003, and the rest is history.

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    Synopsis

    Johnny (Tommy Wiseau) is a successful San Francisco banker living in a two-story home with his fiancée, Lisa (Juliette Danielle). While things seem to be going great for Johnny, what he doesn’t know is that Lisa is being unfaithful. Dissatisfied with the relationship, she cheats on him with his best friend, Mark (Greg Sestero), who instantly feels regretful. During this, Johnny, Mark, and Lisa save their neighbor Denny (Philip Haldiman) from a ruthless drug dealer. As Lisa starts accusing Johnny of being abusive, he begins spiraling out of control and seeks help from his friends. They spend time confiding in each other while tossing a football in back alleys and parks, but it doesn’t help. Soon, truths will be revealed, friendships will be tested, and their lives will never be the same. All this and much more await anyone who dares subject themselves to The Room!

     

    Review

    The Room is one of the worst movies ever made, but you probably already knew that by now. Since its release twenty years ago, everyone and their grandmother have discussed everything wrong with this film. People have talked about the bad acting, ridiculous dialogue, numerous unresolved subplots, and noticeable flubs till the cows came home. However, much like other vanity projects like Battlefield Earth or the works of Neil Breen, The Room is something special. It’s a film that is so bad and incompetent that it’s transcended to become a cult movie phenomenon. Like the “Oh my god” scene from Troll 2, Wiseau’s “You’re tearing me apart, Lisa” has become iconic. Honestly, there’s not much more I can say about this infamous epic that other reviewers haven’t already discussed. However, I will try to give my unique perspective on Mr. Wiseau’s magnum opus.

    While I think the movie is technically terrible, The Room is so unintentionally hilarious that I can’t hate it. Unlike other notoriously bad movies like Freddy Got Fingered or It’s Pat, this one doesn’t make me regret my decisions. Tommy Wiseau’s slurred speech and bad dubbing make his performance funnier, especially knowing he couldn’t remember his lines. My favorite moments are when he dismisses Lisa’s accusations and tells Mark to leave the party later. As easy as it would be to mock the other actors, I can’t fault them, considering the material they’re given. That said, Greg Sestero brings the same charm he did to Retro Puppet Master and is easily the best actor. It helps that he knew Tommy personally so he could figure out the best way to deliver his nonsensical dialogue. Also, Dan Janjigian goes all in for his small but memorable role as drug dealer Chris-R.

    For all its unintentionally funny moments, there are just as many scenes that drag the movie down. Also, some viewers may skip the numerous sex scenes that happen one after the other in the first fifteen minutes. None of them are even remotely erotic, playing out like the worst version of something you’d see on late-night Cinemax. What doesn’t help the pacing is all the stock footage of San Francisco meant to establish the locations. I wonder if Wiseau is trying to sell people the idea of visiting Alcatraz Island and The Golden Gate Bridge. For a film that’s only slightly over ninety minutes, the movie seems to go on way longer than that. While this movie is awful, I highly encourage people to watch it at least once to experience what it offers. Overall, The Room is one of the best bad movies ever, and God Bless Tommy Wiseau!

     

    Buy The Room from Amazon: https://amzn.to/47N4K2s.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Next Goal Wins (2023)

    Next Goal Wins (2023)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.23.1″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]In 2014, the documentary Next Goal Wins, directed by Mike Brett and Steve Jamison, was released to universal acclaim. The film told the story of the American Samoa soccer team’s struggle to qualify for the World Cup. In 2019, Fox Searchlight Pictures announced that Taika Waititi would helm a feature film adaptation of the documentary. Among the cast included Michael Fassbender, Elisabeth Moss, numerous New Zealand-born Samoan actors making their debut, and Armie Hammer. The movie was shot in Honolulu from November 2019 to January 2020 with a $14 million budget. However, after allegations of sexual abuse surrounding Hammer surfaced in 2021, reshoots were done with Will Arnett replacing him. Due to prior commitments on Thor: Love and Thunder, Waititi’s sports movie wouldn’t be released until 2023. After premiering at the Toronto International Film Festival in September, Next Goal Wins hit theaters in November.

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    Synopsis

    Since losing to Australia in 2001 31-0, the American Samoa national football team is considered the worst in history. The American Samoa Football Federation head, Tavita (Oscar Kightley), seeks a new coach to end their losing streak. Enter Thomas Rongen (Michael Fassbender), a Dutch-American football coach struggling with alcoholism and anger issues who’s recently been fired. Executive Alex Magnussen (Will Arnett) and Rongen’s ex-wife Gail (Elisabeth Moss) send him to American Samoa to fix his life. He becomes the football team’s new coach, which he’s not happy with, given his situation and the team’s reputation. However, as he gets to know the team better, especially transgender player Jaiyah Saelua (Kaimana), Rongen starts to change. He gets the team back on track and prepares them to compete in the 2014 World Cup. Will they end their decade-long losing streak or continue being a laughingstock in the football community?

     

    Review

    Taika Waititi has become a director that I have mixed feelings about, given his track record. While he’s made some great stuff like Thor: Ragnarok and Jojo Rabbit, Thor: Love and Thunder was a huge disappointment. Next Goal Wins falls somewhere in the middle: not as good as his earlier work, but better than his later stuff. This movie is like any other inspirational sports movie about an underdog team, from Cool Runnings to The Mighty Ducks. The only difference is that this film flat-out tells the audience several elements are embellished to suit the narrative better. This extends to the numerous pop culture references made throughout, including The Matrix, The Karate Kid, and Any Given Sunday. It feels like a much deeper story could’ve been explored, but much of it is sidestepped for entertainment’s sake. Again, it’s not all terrible, but there’s nothing new either.

    Michael Fassbender might’ve been an odd choice for Thomas Rongen, but he does a decent job as the struggling coach. His accent tends to slip occasionally, and he comes off so hateful to the players that it’s hard to sympathize. He follows the sports movie trope of the angry, bitter coach who learns to be a better person. Unfortunately, he’s given the most screen time/backstory at the expense of the American Samoa team, who get little development. The one exception is Jaiyah Saelua, played excellently by relative newcomer Kaimana, who’s given more character development. Seeing her relationship with the rest of the team is heartwarming, as they accept her for who she is. Honestly, I would’ve much rather seen her as the lead than the same tired story we were given. It comes off as wasted potential, but what we get does its job well enough.

    From a filmmaking perspective, Waititi does an excellent job of capturing the beauty of the Hawaiian landscape. The movie has bright colors, rich sunrises/sunsets, and plenty of tropical foliage that enhances the visuals. Otherwise, most of the film is shot statically and plainly without much in the way of dynamic camera angles. Some of the jokes land, including a bit involving Rogen going through the Five Stages of Grief. The rest mainly consists of poking fun at the Islanders, which seems a bit disingenuous. Parts of the film drag at roughly an hour and forty-four minutes, but it mostly breezes by. Fans of inspirational sports movies will enjoy this, but I can’t help feeling like this could’ve been so much more. Overall, Next Goal Wins is a decent piece of escapism, but it won’t leave much lasting impact afterward.

     

    Buy Next Goal Wins from Amazon: https://amzn.to/4flRtSa.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Thanksgiving (2023)

    Thanksgiving (2023)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.23.1″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]For the 2007 double feature Grindhouse, directors Edgar Wright, Rob Zombie, and Eli Roth contributed three fake trailers. Wright homaged 70s European horror with Don’t, Zombie brought up Werewolf Women of the SS, and Roth offered up Thanksgiving. While the movie underperformed, the trailers were a highlight, and Roth started developing a feature film based on the trailer. Over the next few years, Roth and co-writer Jeff Rendell worked on fleshing out the script while producing other movies. During this time, Roth was hired by Lionsgate to direct a film adaptation of the popular video game Borderlands. While filming wrapped in 2022, reshoots were announced in early 2023, but Roth chose to make his holiday slasher instead. He left Tim Miller in charge while filming in Toronto and Ontario for three months on a $15 million budget. After 16 years of development, Thanksgiving finally slashed into theaters in November 2023.

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    Synopsis

    The small town of Plymouth, Massachusetts, is rocked to its core when a massive Black Friday sale ends in tragedy. One year later, Thomas Wright (Rick Hoffman), the store owner whose sale ended in death, plans to do it again. Wright commits despite warnings from his daughter Jessica (Nell Verlaque) and protests led by former manager Mitch Collins (Ty Olsson). Soon, a mysterious figure dressed as a pilgrim wearing a John Carver mask starts killing people in increasingly gruesome ways. The killer is targeting people involved in the Black Friday tragedy, which Jessica and her friends were present for. Sheriff Eric Newlon (Patrick Dempsey) is investigating the murders while Jessica deals with her ex-boyfriend Bobby (Jalen Thomas Brooks). As the killings continue, our heroes have to figure out who the killer is before they end up dead. This Thanksgiving, there will be no leftovers.

     

    Review

    If I’m being honest, I’ve never been the biggest fan of Eli Roth, primarily because of his writing style. In Cabin Fever and Hostel, he wrote the characters to be so unlikeable that you wanted them to die. That’s the sign of a bad writer: instead of writing well-rounded, three-dimensional characters, you make them as annoying as possible. With that in mind, I was genuinely surprised by how much I enjoyed Roth’s latest offering. Thanksgiving is a solid throwback to 80s holiday-themed slasher films like My Bloody Valentine and Happy Birthday to Me. One thing that impressed me immediately was the gore effects, which are all done practically and look great. There are some memorable kills, including a few from the original fake trailer, including the infamous trampoline scene. The over-the-top nature of the kills adds to the fun, grindhouse-type vibe the movie is going for.

    While I would’ve preferred Michael Biehn from the original trailer to return, Patrick Dempsey does an excellent job. He’s quiet and reserved, never playing the role for laughs and taking it seriously, which makes the dark humor funnier. Relative newcomer Nell Verlaque is also promising as the main heroine, Jessica, acting as the voice of reason. The rest of the cast is your typical slasher canon fodder, but that’s not to say they’re all detestable. Sure, there is some of that douchy bro attitude Eli Roth is known for, but it’s downplayed significantly here. Plus, any particularly unlikable characters are disposed of pretty quickly, so you’re never stuck with them for too long. Old-school slasher fans should look for an appearance from Lynne Griffin, known for Canadian chillers like Black Christmas and Curtains. Also, Gina Gershon has a small but memorable role early in the movie.

    If I had any complaints, I’d say one of the biggest is the runtime, roughly an hour and forty-seven minutes. A slasher film like this should be kept at ninety minutes, and plenty of slower scenes could’ve been excised. Also, while the first two acts are strong, everything starts falling apart in the third. The film loses the sense of dark fun it had and goes straight for the gross-out factor. Plus, even if the effect was digital, I wish this had that faux grainy, scratched-up look from Grindhouse. Regardless, you’ll have a good time here if you’re a fan of Eli Roth’s work or slasher films. Even if you generally don’t like Roth’s movies (like myself), you might be surprised with this one. Overall, Thanksgiving is an enjoyably gruesome and humorous take on a well-worn horror subgenre that never seems to die.

     

    Buy Thanksgiving from Amazon: https://amzn.to/4f85pzl.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • The Marvels (2023)

    The Marvels (2023)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.23.1″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]On a $160 million budget, Captain Marvel grossed over $1 billion worldwide, making it the 9th highest-grossing film of 2019. A few months after its release, Marvel Studios head Kevin Feige announced a sequel was in the works. In early 2020, Megan McDonnell was hired to write the sequel after working on the Disney+ series WandaVision. Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck, who directed the first film, would not return, so Marvel sought a new director. After considering Olivia Wilde and Jamie Babbit, the studio hired Nia DaCosta, who previously helmed the Candyman remake. Brie Larson returned to the title role, with Teyonah Parris and newcomer Iman Vellani joining the cast. The movie was shot between July 2021 and May 2022 in Pinewood Studios, Longcross Studios, LA, and Tropea. After numerous delays, The Marvels premiered in Vegas on November 7, 2023, before its wide release three days later.

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    Synopsis

    In her quest to restore her homeworld, Dar-Benn (Zawe Ashton) acquires a Quantum Band, allowing her to create space rifts. These anomalies catch the attention of S.W.O.R.D., an intelligence agency headed by Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson). He asks Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel (Brie Larson) and Monica Rambeau (Teyonah Parris) to investigate, but something goes wrong. The anomaly causes Carol, Monica, and Kamala Khan/Ms. Marvel (Iman Vellani) to switch places when they use their powers. They deduce that their light-based powers are caught in a quantum entanglement caused by Dar-Benn creating jump points. It turns out that Dar-Benn is using the jump points to siphon resources to revive the Kree homeworld, Hala. With Dar-Benn’s jump points threatening to rupture existence, Carol, Monica, and Kamala team up to stop her. Will The Marvels save the universe, or will it fall apart while Dar-Benn tries restoring the Kree empire?

     

    Review

    At this point, it feels like I’m watching all the MCU movies out of obligation rather than genuine interest. With a few exceptions, most of them have been decent at best and mediocre at worst. While not as bad as Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania, The Marvels is another forgettable mediocre MCU movie. Part of it could be superhero fatigue, but that doesn’t change the fact that this movie is pretty dull. To start positively, I will say that some performances aren’t half bad, with Iman Vellani being a huge standout. Much like in Ms. Marvel, her energy and enthusiasm is infectious, and I look forward to what she does next. Brie Larson and Teyonah Parris are decent, though they come off slightly on the bland side. Samuel L. Jackson still has a commanding presence, even if he isn’t given much to do.

    Unfortunately, that’s where most of the positives end, as this has all the elements of a weak MCU movie. Dar-Benn is right up there with Ronan the Conqueror and Malekith as one of the weakest villains in the series. While they try giving her a compelling motivation, she comes off as a stereotypical big bad wanting to destroy everything. It doesn’t help that Zawe Ashton’s performance mainly consists of wide-eyed expressions and delivering her lines in a whispering tone. Also, the whole “switching places when they use their powers” gimmick could’ve been fun, but it’s underutilized. Aside from a few action scenes and a decent training montage, the gimmick is hardly used and is mostly forgotten. There are also some out-of-place attempts at humor, like when the heroes visit a planet where people communicate through song. It’s on par with what Taika Waititi did on Thor: Love and Thunder.

    The film’s best parts were the quieter, more character-driven scenes, like Kamala’s family or the main heroes bonding. It’s in the big, CGI-filled action sequences that the film feels generic and hollow, like most of the MCU recently. I’m glad Nia DaCosta got to direct a big-budget blockbuster, but I don’t know if she was the right choice. Not that the film is shot poorly or the editing is awful, but there’s no sense of style. Considering her last film had a $25 million budget, maybe she’s not ready for such a vast project. One thing I can credit this movie for is that it’s relatively short, at only an hour and 45 minutes. Still, Marvel Studios should take some time off, regroup, and commit to delivering better content than this. Overall, The Marvels has moments, but you can skip this one unless you’re a hardcore MCU fan.

     

    Buy The Marvels from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3Afde7n.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Hocus Pocus (1993)

    Hocus Pocus (1993)

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    Since childhood, producer David Kirschner loved Halloween and would tell his daughter ghost stories to set an ominous tone. She was particularly captivated by a story he told of a boy cursed to be a cat by three witches. He hired Mick Garris to adapt the tale into a screenplay called Halloween House, submitting it to Disney in 1984. Over the years, the script went through various rewrites, but production stalled until it caught Bette Midler’s attention. With her onboard, the studio moved ahead with the production, hiring Newsies director Kenny Ortega to helm the project. Leonardo DiCaprio was originally going to play the lead but dropped out to star in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? On a $28 million budget, the movie was shot in Burbank, Salem, and Marblehead from October 1992 to February 1993. To avoid competing with The Nightmare Before Christmas, Hocus Pocus was released in July 1993.

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    Synopsis

    In 17th Century Salem, young Thackery Binx (Sean Murray) is cursed to be a cat by three witches. These witches are The Sanderson Sisters – Winifred (Bette Midler), Mary (Kathy Najimy), and Sarah (Sarah Jessica Parker). While the witches are found and hanged for their crimes, Thackery is left to wander Salem for eternity. Three hundred years later, Max Dennison (Omri Katz) is forced to take his younger sister Dani (Thora Birch) trick-or-treating. They run into Allison (Vinessa Shaw), whom Max has a crush on, and she shows them the Sanderson Sisters’ cottage. Max lights a black candle, inadvertently resurrecting The Sisters, but they run off with their spellbook. The Sisters enlist Winifred’s zombified ex-lover, Billy Butcherson (Doug Jones), to retrieve it to redo their eternal youth spell. With precious time on their hands, our heroes have to stop the witches before they succeed in exacting their revenge.

     

    Review

    While initially a critical and commercial flop, Hocus Pocus has gone on to amass a huge cult following. It’s easy to see how, given the way the film perfectly captures the dark yet playful essence of Halloween. Though much of the material was toned down over the various rewrites, this is still dark for a Disney movie. A child dies in the opening, characters constantly mention how Max is a virgin, and there’s even a public hanging. This is the rare kind of family film where both children and adults can find something to enjoy. The kids will love the goofy shenanigans and fun characters, while adults will appreciate the occasional risque jokes and themes. Admittedly, some of these elements don’t mesh together well, but it’s not enough to create tonal whiplash. Your enjoyment will depend on your tolerance for slapstick and fish-out-of-water humor.

    Omri Katz is likable as Max, and he has excellent chemistry with both Thora Birch and Vinessa Shaw. You buy the brother-sister relationship between Max and Dani, and the budding romance with Allison is charming. While Sean Murray plays the human version of Thackery Binx, Jason Marsden provides the voice for when he’s a cat. Marsden does an excellent job injecting some dry wit into the film to bring an animatronic/digital cat to life. Doug Jones is a lot of fun as the mute Billy Butcherson, playing his part as exaggerated as possible. Stephanie Faracy and the late Charles Rocket are fun as Max and Dani’s parents, acting oblivious without seeming obnoxious. There are also some nice cameos from the late Kathleen Freeman, Gary Marshall, and Penny Marshall. It’s a well-rounded cast, with each actor given their moment to shine.

    However, the real stars of the film are The Sanderson Sisters, each one perfectly cast for their part. Bette Midler is funny and menacing as the lead witch, Winifred, who gets some of the movie’s best lines. Kathy Najimy and Sarah Jessica Parker balance her menace by providing comic relief, essentially witch versions of The Three Stooges. Kenny Ortega’s direction is fluid and dynamic, largely thanks to his background directing music videos. William Sandel’s production design, Tony Gardner’s practical effects, Mary E. Vogt’s costumes, and Hiro Narita’s cinematography are all mesmerizing. Admittedly, some of the digital effects haven’t aged that well, and its 90s aesthetic might put off modern audiences. Still, even for cynical Disney haters, it’s hard to deny the film’s magical qualities and not find something enjoyable. Overall, Hocus Pocus is a highly entertaining, if somewhat flawed, Halloween adventure the whole family can watch.

     

    Buy Hocus Pocus from Amazon: https://amzn.to/46QD4JD.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Killers of the Flower Moon (2023)

    Killers of the Flower Moon (2023)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.23″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]David Grann’s Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI was published in 2017. The book tells the real-life story of how members of the Osage people were murdered after gaining wealth from oil. Grann’s book received rave reviews from The New York Times, Rolling Stone, and Publishers Weekly, so Hollywood soon came calling. In 2016, Imperative Entertainment bought the film rights for $5 million, with Martin Scorsese announced to be helming the project. Paramount Pictures originally announced they’d distribute the film in 2019 but were unsure due to the $200 million budget. While filming was delayed due to COVID-19, Scorsese made a deal with Apple TV+ to co-finance and co-distribute the film. The movie was shot in Osage County and Washington County, Oklahoma, from April to October 2021. After premiering at Cannes, Killers of the Flower Moon hit theaters in October 2023.

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    Synopsis

    In 1918, Ernest Burkhart (Leonardo DiCaprio) returns from the war to meet his uncle William “King” Hale (Robert De Niro). While Ernest was away, the Osage acquired mass amounts of wealth after discovering oil, which upsets Hale despite his appearance. He asks Ernest to work as a driver for Mollie Kyle (Lilly Gladstone), an Osage whose family owns the land. The two develop a relationship and get married, entitling Ernest to a share of the land should Mollie’s family die. While Hale has several Osage killed secretly, Ernest is ordered to poison Mollie’s insulin, slowly killing her without her realizing. News of the murders reaches Washington, D.C., so the Bureau of Investigation sends Agent Tom White (Jesse Plemons) to investigate. Though they try covering everything up, Ernest and Hale must answer for their crimes as everything crumbles around them.

     

    Review

    Martin Scorsese is one of those rare filmmakers who still delivers quality cinema even in his twilight years. His latest epic, Killers of the Flower Moon, is no exception, as it gives Oppenheimer a run for its money. First and foremost, the movie is three and a half hours long, but its lengthy runtime is justified. There is so much story to be had that this could’ve worked as a six-hour miniseries on HBO. Plus, it’s one of those movies that keeps you engaged throughout its extended runtime, a rare feat. It helps that the film has an engaging story that continually builds tension and never lets up. It’s a story of love, betrayal, greed, and prejudice that tackles one of America’s more troubled tales. The film also has some incredible production design, which makes you feel like you’re in early 20th-century Oklahoma.

    Like many of Scorsese’s films, the performances are excellent all across the board, from the leads to the supporting cast. As easy as it would’ve been to phone in his performance, Robert De Niro proves he can still kill it. Even at 80, De Niro has such a commanding presence as the outwardly friendly but secretly evil King Hale. Leonardo Di Caprio gives what might be the best performance of his career as the conflicted Ernest Burkhart. You can tell he wants to make his uncle happy but also loves his wife despite his terrible actions. However, the real stand-out is Lily Gladstone, who perfectly matches Di Caprio’s wild energy with a quiet, tragic demeanor. If any actor deserves an Oscar, it’s her, just for the lengths she goes through during the film. There are also significant supporting roles from John Lithgow, Brendan Fraser, Louis Cancelmi, and Martin Scorsese.

    Scorsese and company went to great lengths to be as accurate to the Osage’s history and culture as possible. While I’ve never read the book or know everything about the Osage Nation, I’m sure Scorsese did his job well. Rodrigo Prieto’s cinematography effectively captures the Oklahoma plains’ beauty, and Robbie Robertson’s haunting score compliments the story. Plenty of slow moments might come off as dull, but they help make the harsher scenes more impactful. Without going into spoilers, the best way to describe the ending is bittersweet: there’s some hope, but it’s still tragic. Aside from its lengthy runtime, it’s challenging to think of anything wrong with this film. Between this and Christopher Nolan’s biopic, it will be tough to decide what’s the best movie of 2023. Overall, Killers of the Flower Moon is another epic in Martin Scorsese’s historic career that deserves its critical acclaim.

     

    Buy Killers of the Flower Moon from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3Aqgo8b.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Lupin the Third: The Castle of Cagliostro (1979)

    Lupin the Third: The Castle of Cagliostro (1979)

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    In 1967, Kazuhiko Katō, using the pseudonym Monkey Punch, created the manga series Lupin III for Weekly Manga Action magazine. The manga proved so popular that the famed studio Tokyo Movie created a two-part anime series in 1971 and 1977. During the second series’ run, Tokyo Movie produced the character’s first feature film, The Mystery of Mamo, in 1978. On a budget of ¥500 million, the movie grossed ¥915 million, making it the 9th highest-grossing Japanese film that year. After the film’s success, the studio wanted to move ahead with another installment to be released the following year. Hayao Miyazaki, who co-directed episodes of the series with Isao Takahata, would make his directorial debut with this film. With a shortened production schedule and the largest budget for an anime film, much was riding on its success. Lupin the Third: The Castle of Cagliostro hit Japanese cinemas in December 1979.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”90″ bar_bg_color=”#7CDA24″ _builder_version=”4.23″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.23″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    Lupin III (Bob Bergen) and his cohort Daisuke Jigen (Steve Bulen) steal millions from the Monte Carlo Casino. Unfortunately, it turns out that the money they stole is counterfeit, so they decide to track down the source. Along the way, they run into a young bride-to-be named Clarisse (Joan-Carol O’Connell), who’s to marry Count Lazare (Michael McConnohie). They soon discover that The Count is only marrying Clarisse so he can uncover Cagliostro’s lost treasure. Lupin enlists his friend Goemon Ishikawa XIII (Steve Kramer) for help and tips off his nemesis, Inspector Zenigata (David Povall). In addition, Lupin’s former lover, Fujiko Mine (Edie Mirman), is posing as Clarisse’s assistant to uncover The Count’s counterfeiting operations. While Lupin and his friends try to save Clarisse from The Count, Fujiko and Zenigata search for evidence. It’s an adventure of a lifetime, and it all takes place in The Castle of Cagliostro!

     

    Review

    Of the many films in Miyazaki’s legendary career, Lupin the Third: The Castle of Cagliostro is among his least well-known. Everyone sings the praises of Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, and My Neighbor Totoro, but not many acknowledge this one. While this may not be as groundbreaking as those movies, I think this one deserves more credit than it gets. If not for this film, Miyazaki may not have started one of the most iconic animation studios ever. You can see early traces of Miyazaki’s style, such as the character designs, beautiful landscapes, and fast-paced action. It’s a visual feast, from the opening chase scene between Clarisse and The Count’s henchmen to Lupin outrunning Zenigata’s goons. Also, with its slapstick humor, funny dialogue, and nonstop chaos, there’s never a dull moment. The fast-paced tone may put some off, but you’ll have a good time if you go along for the ride.

    Despite having previously reviewed Lupin III: The First, I’m not as familiar with the franchise as others. From what I gathered, this version of Lupin is very different from how the character is usually depicted. Usually, he’s portrayed as a cocky, smarmy, womanizing thief who only cares about the next big score. Here, he’s still a thief but more heroic and happy-go-lucky, wanting to do good but constantly getting into trouble. Purists might be disappointed by this version, but I think making him a thief with a heart of gold works. Making him and his colleagues more friendly and humorous allows the audience to sympathize and root for the characters. Thankfully, the movie maintains their core personalities – Lupin is affable, Jigen is sarcastic, and Goemon is stoic. This may not be the definitive version of what Lupin III is, but for this movie, it works.

    Considering all the dubs made over the years, it’s hard to judge the performances since none is the same. For this review, I’ll cover the Streamline dub produced in 1992 since it’s currently on Amazon Prime. That said, the dub actors do a great job bringing these characters to life and fit the personalities well. Bob Bergen gives Lupin a unique charm that makes him instantly likable, and David Povall brings much energy to Zenigata. Steve Bulen and Steve Kramer are great as Jigen and Goemon, and Edie Mirman brings plenty of sass to Fujiko. I’m not sure how this dub compares to the Manga Entertainment dub from 2000, but I’m sure it’s also good. Whichever dub you pick, this is still an incredible animated adventure worth checking out, especially for Miyazaki fans. Overall, Lupin the Third: The Castle of Cagliostro may not be 100% faithful, but it’s nonetheless enjoyable.

     

    Buy Lupin the Third: The Castle of Cagliostro from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3LK7hS9.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)

    Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.23″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]As previously stated, producer Frank Mancuso, Jr. insisted that Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter would be the last installment. However, the film grossed $33 million against a $2.2 million budget, so Paramount decided to continue the series anyway. Phil Scuderi, one of the series’ longtime financiers, hired Danny Steinmann of The Unseen and Savage Streets fame to direct. Since Jason died in the last film, the producers decided to make the next installment a whodunit like the original. Under the working title Repetition, the movie was shot in and around Beverly Hills and Camarillo, California, in 1984. Unfortunately, there were production issues, namely clashes between Steinmann and Mancuso and edits mandated by the MPAA. Little did the filmmakers know that the final result would be one of the most divisive entries in the series. Ultimately, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning opened in March 1985.

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    Synopsis

    Years after surviving his encounter with Jason Voorhees, Tommy Jarvis (John Shepherd) is put in a halfway house. Due to the trauma he endured, Tommy is very quiet and reserved, which makes him an easy target for bullying. Terror strikes the community when mentally disturbed Vic (Mark Venturini) kills overweight Joey (Dominick Brascia) over a chocolate bar. Soon, more murders happen near the halfway house, and numerous suspects are named, including Tommy and possibly Jason. Among those killed are lovers Eddie (John Robert Dixon) and Tina (Debisue Voorhees) and the goth Violet (Tiffany Helm). Soon, the only ones left are Pam (Melanie Kinnaman) and Reggie “The Reckless” (Shavar Ross), with Tommy mysteriously absent. They soon meet the killer, wearing a hockey mask that’s very similar but different to Jason’s. But is this Jason back from the dead, is it a mentally deranged Tommy, or is it someone else?

     

    Review

    Like Halloween III: Season of the Witch, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning has been harshly criticized since its release. Most of the criticism is over the killer’s identity and how it pulled a fast one on the audience. While it’s not as strong as the earlier installments, this film doesn’t deserve nearly the hate it gets. For one, John Shepherd does a great job as a traumatized Tommy Jarvis, acting quiet and reserved. Even though he doesn’t have many lines, you can tell from his facial expressions that he’s been through a lot. Melanie Kinnaman is also good as the strong and nurturing Pam, who wants to help Tommy overcome his trauma. Shavar Ross is also fun as the fearless Reggie “The Reckless” and has excellent chemistry with Kinnaman and Shepherd. Carol Locatell and Ron Sloan are also memorable as a foul-mouthed redneck and her yokel son, respectively.

    The thing that makes any Friday the 13th movie work is the creativity and brutality of the kills. There are some decent kills, though they’re not as brutal as those from The Final Chapter or Part 3. Some more unique kills include a flare to the mouth, hedge trimmers to the eyes, and a head-crushing belt. Aside from that, most of the film’s deaths are the usual stabbings and slashings you’ve expected from this series. It seems director Danny Steinmann was more interested in showing busty women topless than creating elaborate kills. Nudity does add to the series’ charm, but it doesn’t mean the difference between a good and lousy installment. It doesn’t help that, aside from a few standouts, most of the characters aren’t all that memorable. While no one is insufferably annoying, it’s hard to feel sad about people dying when they don’t have much characterization.

    While it’s admirable that the filmmakers tried making this more of a whodunit, they somewhat give away the killer’s identity. I won’t spoil it here, but if you watch the film, it’s made pretty obvious who will be the killer. Whether intentional or not, it’s frustrating when you learn who the killer is, considering the direction they could’ve gone in. They tried to build off the ending of the last film and double down on it in this film’s ending. Unfortunately, the fans were so upset that the setup was abandoned, which is a shame but not a series-ender. This is a competently-made, decently-paced slasher with some decent kills and a few memorable characters. But as an entry in one of the longest-running horror franchises, this one misses the mark, but not without trying. Overall, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning isn’t great, but it’s at least underrated.

     

    Buy Friday the 13th: A New Beginning from Amazon: https://amzn.to/4hudv73.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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    Where to watch Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)

    data-api-key=”LMVDLdLSH5ZJnQ4FMGMgyJCB8cmGbfCV” data-object-type=”Movie” data-title=”Friday the 13th: A New Beginning” data-year=”1985″ data-theme=”light”>

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  • Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

    Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

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    While it grossed over $14 million against a $4.6 million budget, Halloween III: Season of the Witch was widely hated. Though it’s since been reappraied by critics and audiences, at the time, the movie upset people who expected Michael Myers. John Carpenter and Debra Hill hired Dennis Etchison to write for a fourth installment, with Joe Dante possibly directing. Unfortunately, executive producer Moustapha Akkad rejected the script, wanting more of a straightforward slasher with Michael Myers. Carpenter and Hill sold their rights to Akkad, who hired Dwight H. Little and Alan B. McElroy for the project. Donald Pleasance was the only returning cast member from the first two films as Jamie Lee Curtis’ career had exploded. Among the new cast was a young Danielle Harris, Ellie Cornell, and George P. Wilbur as the iconic killer. Finally, Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers was released in theaters in October 1988.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”65″ bar_bg_color=”#EDF000″ _builder_version=”4.23″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.23″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    Ten years after his original rampage, Michael Myers (George P. Wilbur) is comatose and is transferred to Smith’s Grove. He awakens when he finds out he has a niece and escapes to Haddonfield, killing several people during his trek. His former psychiatrist, Dr. Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasance), learns about Michael’s escape and chases after him. Over in Haddonfield, Jamie Strode (Danielle Harris) lives with her foster parents, Richard (Jeff Olson) and Darlene Carruthers (Karen Alston). While the parents attend a Halloween party, their daughter Rachel (Ellie Cornell) has to babysit Jamie while she goes trick-or-treating. After arriving in Haddonfield, Loomis meets Sheriff Meeker (Beau Starr) to warn him about Michael’s intent to kill Jamie. A lynch mob hunts down Michael while Loomis and Meeker try to protect Jamie and Rachel from Michael’s wrath. Who will survive, and who will be the next victim of Michael Myers’ return?

     

    Review

    While I have my issues, Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers is a decent, if unremarkable, slasher. It doesn’t come close to the quality of John Carpenter’s original, but for what it is, it’s okay. For starters, the opening credits sequence is excellent, perfectly capturing the vibe of Halloween and the changing seasons. From there, the movie retains this spooky vibe with its use of fog and minimal lighting. Since this was still early in his career, Dwight Little did great as a director and showed potential. The acting is solid, with Donald Pleasance being the consummate professional and carrying the film. Relative newcomers Danielle Harris and Ellie Cornell are also great and have good chemistry as their relationship develops. George Wilbur makes for a good Michael Myers, giving off an imposing presence that sets him apart from his predecessors.

    Admittedly, most of my problems with this film are issues that stem from problematic elements from previous installments. In my review of Halloween II, I mentioned that I didn’t enjoy the twist with Laurie being Michael’s sister. This film builds on that twist with the inclusion of Jamie, Laurie’s daughter and Michael’s niece. While it helps that Danielle Harris does a great job, the fact they followed up on the twist is bothersome. Also, the fact that Michael and Loomis survived the explosion in the second installment undermines its ending. From what I’ve read, the film was initially meant to be more of a ghost story, which would’ve been interesting. I understand the producers wanted to bring Michael Myers back, but they had to jump through hoops to get there. That said, it’s still less insulting than what was done to Michael in Halloween Kills and Halloween Ends.

    The kills are relatively tame for a slasher film, which isn’t entirely wrong, but it makes the movie feel soft. A few stand out, but that’s thanks to the late addition of special effects artist John Carl Buechler. Still, don’t expect anything as visceral as Crispin Glover’s death in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter. Another strong point of the film is the score by John Carpenter’s long-time associate, Alan Howarth. He mixes the original theme with some moody synth music that adds to the movie’s ominous tone. While it takes time to get going, the climax, where the movie turns into a siege film, is thrilling. At roughly 88 minutes, there is quite a bit of padding, but the film gets in and out fairly quickly. Overall, Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers is a step down in quality, but it has its moments.

     

    Buy Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3ZJcYFP.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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