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  • Vegas in Space (1991)

    Vegas in Space (1991)

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    After making Super-8 films as a teenager, Phillip R. Ford enrolled in San Francisco State University’s film program. While attending class, Ford met Philip Mills, better known as Doris Fish, a drag queen originally from Sydney. One night, Ford showed Fish and her wife, Lori Naslund, Trouble in Paradise, a Super-8 short he had filmed back in 1981. Doris was so impressed with Ford’s short film that she agreed to star in his next project, Rollercoaster to Hell. The student movie got tons of attention and was shown on KTVU’s Creature Features, where Ford announced his next film. Doris had aspirations of making it big in Hollywood and pitched Ford an idea for an outer-space musical comedy. Filming lasted between 1983 and 1984, but post-production took an additional seven years due to a lack of funds. After everything was said and done, Vegas in Space finally premiered in October 1991.

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    Synopsis

    In the 23rd century, Captain Dan Tracey (Doris Fish) and his Space Cadets receive a critical mission. Vel Croford, Empress of Earth (Miss X), instructs them to travel to the planet Kleetoeres to solve a jewel heist. However, only women are allowed on Kleetoeres, so Tracey and his men must take sex reassignment pills to blend in. Now, as women, Captain Tracy Daniels, Lt. Sheila Shadows (Ramona Fischer), and Lt. Debbie Dane (Lori Naslund) visit the Empress. According to Empress Nueva Gabor (Ginger Quest), her Girllinium gems, which maintain the planet’s orbit, have been stolen. The prime suspect is Veneer (Miss X), the planet’s queen of police, who agrees to work with Daniels. Helping out the ladies is Nueva’s Vice Empress, Princess Angel (Tippi), who secretly has an agenda. Who stole the Girllinium gems, will the ladies stop them, and what else will happen in Vegas in Space?

     

    Review

    Vegas in Space certainly earns its cult status just for how weird it is, especially with its intentionally tacky aesthetic. This movie was a labor of love, from the homemade sets and colorful costumes to the intentionally cheesy tone. Even if this was initially made as a vanity project for Doris Fish, you could tell the filmmakers cared. They spent the better part of a decade trying to get this film made, and that commitment is admirable. While made for a small budget, the filmmakers created a distinct, albeit tacky style that lends to the movie’s charm. The performances are over-the-top and campy, but that’s the vibe they were going for, and it works. The late Doris Fish shines as Dan Tracy/Tracey Daniels, the enigmatic leader who’s both strong and sassy. Her cohorts, Ramona Fisher and Lori Naslund, are appropriately ditzy and bubbly, which goes well with Fish’s attitude.

    However, as goofy as the movie is, and while the people involved had fun, it’s a bit of a mess. For a film that’s 85 minutes long, there’s a lot of padding to reach feature length. There are several scenes where nothing plot-related happens, and characters talk endlessly, dragging the pacing to a crawl. Some jokes land, but unless you’re familiar with drag culture, most of the humor will be lost on you. It’s also weird to call this a musical since there’s only one musical number toward the movie’s end. Plus, the film plays it a bit too safe, considering it’s made by drag queens for drag queens. If you’re a fan of campy sci-fi, you might get some enjoyment here, but there are better options. Overall, Vegas in Space might appeal more to drag fans, but it’s only watchable as a curiosity.

     

    Buy Vegas in Space from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3UUvQPb.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • V for Vendetta (2006)

    V for Vendetta (2006)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_fullwidth_header title=”Special Review” subhead=”This review is a special request from Patreon supporter Patrick Glauber. If you’d like to support me on Patreon, click the button below.” text_orientation=”center” button_one_text=”Visit Patreon” button_one_url=”https://www.patreon.com/filmnerd” background_overlay_color=”#f96854″ _builder_version=”4.19.0″ _module_preset=”default” title_level=”h2″ background_color=”#f96854″ custom_button_one=”on” button_one_bg_color=”#052d49″ custom_margin=”||||false|false” custom_padding=”25px||25px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_fullwidth_header][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.19.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]In 1988, producer Joel Silver bought the rights to two of Alan Moore’s works, V for Vendetta and Watchmen. After the Silver-produced Road House was a relative success, writer Hilary Henkin worked on an initial draft. In the mid-90s, The Wachowskis, fans of the comic, started working on a script before making The Matrix. After the production of the last two Matrix movies wrapped, The Wachowskis offered James McTeigue the director’s chair. For the role of V, James Purefoy was initially cast but was replaced by Hugo Weaving due to creative differences. McTeigue cast Natalie Portman after meeting her on the set of Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones. Principal photography took place in London and Potsdam from March to June 2005 and was cinematographer Adrian Biddle’s last film. After premiering at the Butt-Numb-A-Thon in December 2005, V for Vendetta opened in US theaters in March 2006.

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    Synopsis

    In the year 2020, Britain has become the world’s superpower under the rule of Chancellor Adam Sutler (John Hurt). While the rest of the populace has become complacent, one man known only as “V” (Hugo Weaving) opposes them. After rescuing a young woman named Evey Hammond (Natalie Portman), he takes her as his apprentice. With Evey’s help, “V” assassinates a group that previously worked at the Larkhill Detention Facility, conducting experiments on prisoners. Under orders from Sutler, Chief Inspector Eric Finch (Stephen Rea) is assigned to investigate and try to apprehend “V.” During his investigation, Inspector Finch learns that the government he serves engineered a virus to help bring them to power. Meanwhile, Evey ends up betraying “V” only to be locked in prison for her association with “V.” Britain will never be the same as November 5th approaches, when “V” executes his final plan.

     

    Review

    While most mid-2000s comic book movies were mediocre to below average, V for Vendetta is among the best. Admittedly, there are numerous differences between the film and its source material, which will upset hardcore fans of the book. Despite its considerable differences, the movie captures the book’s spirit and recontextualizes it for modern audiences. The film manages to tackle government repression, totalitarianism, and other sociopolitical issues while also being an entertaining action movie. Speaking of action, James McTeigue creates stylishly fluid sequences that feel like ballet acts as “V” slices through his enemies. Admittedly, there aren’t very many action scenes, but the ones we get are exciting to help advance the story. This comic book movie is more concerned with delivering a compelling story than having many fights. Even if Alan Moore was disappointed with the final result, The Wachowskis did a great job adapting the book.

    Hugo Weaving does a phenomenal job as the titular hero, though it’s disappointing what happened with James Purefoy. Natalie Portman delivers one of her best performances as Evey Hammond, a young woman who goes through a dramatic change. We see her go from a reluctant accomplice to being beaten and tortured until emerging as a strong government oppressor. Stephen Rea also goes through a similar change, albeit more subtly, as he digs deeper into what his government did. The rest of the supporting cast, including John Hurt, Stephen Fry, Tim Pigott-Smith, Roger Allam, and Sinéad Cusack, are excellent. At slightly over two hours, parts of the film drag, but the story is compelling enough to keep audiences invested. Even if it’s not the most faithful adaptation, this is still an excellent comic book movie with a thought-provoking story. Overall, V for Vendetta is a modern-day classic of comic book action.

     

    Buy V for Vendetta from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3AFe6lH.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)

    Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)

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    On a $200 million budget, Black Panther broke tons of box office records, grossing over $1.3 billion worldwide. Not only was it the second-highest-grossing film of the year, but it was also the ninth-highest-grossing film of all time. Naturally, Marvel Studios immediately wanted a sequel and announced it mid-2019, with Ryan Coogler agreeing to return as director. Sadly, plans were put on hold when actor Chadwick Boseman passed away on August 28, 2020, due to colon cancer. Marvel and Disney agreed not to recast the actor or create a CGI double to avoid fan backlash. The filmmakers chose Namor the Sub-Mariner for its central villain, who debuted in Marvel Comics #1 in 1939. Filming commenced in June 2021 at Trilith Studios and, due to various factors, wrapped around March 2022. While initially scheduled for a mid-2022 release, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever premiered in October before releasing nationwide in November 2022.

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    Synopsis

    Following the death of King T’Challa, the world is turning its attention to Wakanda to share its resources. Despite pressure from foreign governments, Queen Ramonda (Angela Bassett) refuses since she knows what these people can do. Meanwhile, Shuri (Letitia Wright) is still mourning her brother’s death, believing she couldn’t save him despite all her technology. Ramonda tries to help her heal when they’re visited by Namor (Tenoch Huerta Mejía), king of the underwater city Talokon. He comes with a request – Wakanda will be destroyed unless they find an American scientist who designed a vibranium-detecting machine. The scientist in question is MIT student Riri Williams (Dominique Thorne), who gets kidnapped with Shuri by Namor’s soldiers. Ramonda recruits Nakia (Lupita Nyong’o) to rescue them, leading to Talokon going to war with Wakanda. With the threat of their home’s destruction, only one thing can stop Namor: the Black Panther!

     

    Review

    It could not have been easy for the filmmakers to make this movie, given Chadwick Boseman’s untimely death. That said, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever is a great sequel that honors the original while doing its own thing. First, the performances all across the board are phenomenal, with every actor having their moment to shine. Angela Bassett, in particular, delivers some heartfelt monologues about what her family has lost, and she sells it. I also have to commend Letitia Wright, who’s in an unenviable position of going from supporting player to lead actor. She carries the movie through and through, and her growth as a character is well done. While most MCU villains have been forgettable, Tenoch Huerta Mejía’s Namor is one of the better villains recently. He’s the kind of villain where you disagree with his methods, but you understand his motivation. He’s a very complex character.

    Returning actors Danai Gurira, Lupita Nyong’o, and Winston Duke do exceptionally well, with Duke delivering most of the humor. Martin Freeman and Julia Louis-Dreyfus do a good job, but they’re not given much to do. On the flip side, Dominique Thorne is an excellent addition to the MCU, and I’m excited to see her grow. There are fantastic action sequences between the more dramatic moments involving car chases, sea battles, and desert fights. Ryan Coogler does a great job setting up these sequences, making them thrilling and easy to see. If I have any complaints, the biggest would be the runtime, which clocks in at two hours and 40 minutes. Usually, I don’t mind a longer movie, but some padding could’ve been trimmed to make this a good two hours. Overall, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever is another fantastic MCU film that pays tribute to a fallen icon.

    [/et_pb_text][et_pb_code _builder_version=”4.19.0″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]Buy Your Tickets on Sale to watch “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever” playing in theaters starting November 11th![/et_pb_code][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.19.0″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Savage Island (1985)

    Savage Island (1985)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.19.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]When Charles Band founded Wizard Video, he acquired the rights to foreign exploitation films for very little money. Through his label, Band released titles from directors like Ruggero Deodato, Jess Franco, Sergio Garrone, Sergio Martino, and Lucio Fulci. Charles also used Wizard Video to release some experimental titles, including compilation tapes like The Best of Sex and Violence. Another experiment Band attempted was something producers like Roger Corman would do: acquire foreign films and recut/redub them. For example, Corman bought the rights to the Lone Wolf and Cub films and re-edited them into 1981’s Shogun Assassin. Band similarly acquired the rights to Hotel Paradise and Escape from Hell, two Women In Prison films from Edoardo Mulargia. Under the pseudonym Nicholas Beardsley, Ted Nicolaou shot new segments featuring Linda Blair to tie everything together. The result was the 1985 direct-to-video cheapie Savage Island.

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    Synopsis

    Having freed herself from slave labor, Daly (Linda Blair) breaks into the corporation responsible for her imprisonment. She confronts the boss, Luker (Leon Askin), and explains how her sister is still captive. We cut to flashbacks showing female prisoners forced into jewel mining, focusing on Marla (Ajita Wilson) and Muriel (Cristina Lay). When the women aren’t looking for precious stones, they’re beaten, tortured, and molested by the guards while also catfighting. One day, Laredo (Anthony Steffen) arrives to drop off more prisoners but is secretly working on starting a revolution. He helps Marla stage a prison break, frees all the captive women, and gets back at the guards. Unfortunately, things go sour when members of Laredo’s gang turn on the women and lead the remaining guards to them. No one is safe, everything is at stake, and only the strongest will survive on Savage Island!

     

    Review

    If what I just described in that synopsis didn’t make much sense, there’s a good reason for that: it doesn’t. Savage Island is one of the most confusing and disjointed movies I’ve ever seen doing this series. As mentioned in the introduction, this movie is essentially two movies re-edited and stitched together with some new footage added. What doesn’t help is that both films have very similar plots and almost the same actors playing different characters. So, an initially good character would turn heel almost randomly, and people would die and come back inexplicably. Continuity is non-existent, with scenes going between day and night and certain moments feeling out of order. What helps make these scenes somewhat watchable are the poor dubbing and some genuinely bizarre moments. Where else will you see a transgender actress biting the head off a snake used to intimidate her?

    Despite being featured on the cover, Linda Blair is only in the movie for about ten minutes. It’s easy to rag on her performance, but then again, she’s barely given anything to work with. In her defense, she didn’t want her name featured prominently as she didn’t want to fool her fans. It is worth mentioning that future magician/comedian Penn Jillette has a small part as a security guard. Ted Nicolaou, who later directed Terrorvision, Subspecies, and Bad Channels, has said that this wasn’t one of his proudest moments. To his credit, he did the best he could given the circumstances and at least made better movies later. Even at roughly 80 minutes, the film is a tedious slog that might be worth watching as a curiosity. But overall, Savage Island is a narrative mess that barely even qualifies as a movie.

     

    Buy Savage Island from:

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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    Where to watch Savage Island (1985)

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  • Godzilla vs. Gigan (1972)

    Godzilla vs. Gigan (1972)

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    After the disappointment of Godzilla vs. Hedorah, long-time producer Tomoyuki Tanaka wanted to take the series back to its roots. In the early 1970s, Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster and Invasion of Astro-Monster were rereleased and drew a large audience. From this, Tanaka decided the best thing was not to try new things but bring back fan-favorite King Ghidorah. Shinichi Sekizawa and Kaoru Mabuchi were hired to write two different drafts, stipulating that Ghidorah and a new monster, Gigan, were included. Jun Fukuda, who previously helmed Ebirah, Horror of the Deep and Son of Godzilla, was hired to direct. The filmmakers used tons of stock footage and music from previous entries and other Toho productions to keep costs down. This ended up being Haruo Nakajima’s last time donning the Godzilla suit, a role he had played since 1954. Godzilla vs. Gigan hit Japanese theaters in 1972 and American theaters in 1977.

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    Synopsis

    Manga artist Gengo Kotaka (Hiroshi Ishikawa) has gotten a job as a concept artist for World Children’s Land. Unbeknownst to Gengo, the park is a front for a group of cockroach-like aliens from the M Space Hunter Nebula. Using the park’s centerpiece, a giant “Godzilla tower,” they take control of the monsters King Ghidorah and Gigan. When Gengo accidentally finds out about the plan, Godzilla and Anguirus hear the aliens’ signal and decide to investigate. Unfortunately, the Japanese Special Forces mistakenly attack Anguirus, but he reports back to Godzilla before it’s too late. Godzilla goes to fight King Ghidorah and Gigan while Gengo and his friends try to stop the aliens. Things go south for the King of the Monsters when the aliens use a laser in their tower against him. Will the cockroach-like aliens wipe out humanity, or will the monsters stop King Ghidorah and Gigan?

     

    Review

    Sadly, Godzilla vs. Gigan marks another low point for the franchise, though it’s at least better than All Monsters Attack. At least the monsters fight for real instead of being the dreams of a young boy getting bullied. Unfortunately, the monsters don’t even show up until the halfway mark, and even then, it’s incredibly underwhelming. You can tell the budgets got lower due to the overuse of stock footage and the monster suits falling apart. For instance, there’s a shot where King Ghidorah and Gigan fly around the Godzilla Tower, looking like parade floats. There are also moments where you can see the Godzilla suit falling apart, having been reused in three movies. Considering Tanaka decided to bring in King Ghidorah, it’s odd that Ghidorah ended up not even participating in the fight. This movie does a first in the series: it shows Godzilla bleeding.

    If there’s anything positive I can say about this movie, it’s the design of the titular monster: Gigan. Despite the overall quality, Gigan’s design is one of the more unique monster designs in the series. It’s a shame that Gigan’s first movie ended up being one of the worst in the series. The movie’s biggest flaw is that it’s dreadfully boring, even with cockroach aliens disguised as humans. The human actors do their best with the material they’re given, but they don’t have anything interesting to do. Usually, the human story is secondary in a Godzilla movie, but even then, this one is exceptionally forgettable. Even at 90 minutes, the film moves at a snail’s pace to get to anything exciting. Overall, Godzilla vs. Gigan is not the worst movie in the series, but it’s up there. Hopefully, things will improve from here.

     

    Buy Godzilla vs. Gigan on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3zKqwoG.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Blood Hook (1987)

    Blood Hook (1987)

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    Minnesota-born Jim Mallon is probably best known today as one of the creators of Mystery Science Theater 3000. However, back in the mid-1980s, he had just graduated from college when he got a job at WHA-TV in Madison. Since converting to video, the studio had access to tons of unused film equipment, which Mallon decided to use. He contacted his old friend David Herbert to write a script based on an early short film. With a budget of $200,000, filming lasted for 35 days in Hayward, Wisconsin, under the title Muskie Madness. While initially planned for a 1986 release, the film had to be trimmed to avoid an X rating for violence. At some point, Troma acquired the distribution rights to the film and decided to re-edit and re-title the picture. In April 1987, Troma released Mallon’s film in theaters as Blood Hook.

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    Synopsis

    Seventeen years after witnessing his grandfather’s death, Peter van Clease (Mark Jacobs) returns to his hometown for a fishing festival. There’s also his girlfriend Ann (Lisa Jane Todd) and friends Rodney (Patrick Danz), Kiersten (Sara Hauser), and Finner (Christopher Whiting). While everyone’s preparing for the Muskie Madness fishing contest, a psychopathic killer is on the loose. His method of choice involves using a large lure on a fishing line to reel in his victims. While the sheriff (Paul Heckman) tries to keep the peace, our heroes scramble to figure out who the killer is. Wayne Duerst (Paul Drake) instantly distrusts Peter and his friends, while his son Evelyn (Bill Lowrie) thinks there’s something more. While suffering from PTSD over his grandfather’s death, Peter has to rise to the occasion and stop the killer. But who is this psychotic fisherman, and why is he catching people with his blood hook?

     

    Review

    Blood Hook is a ridiculous movie, and the filmmakers are fully aware of that, but there’s plenty of sincerity. One aspect that works in the movie’s favor is the location, an actual small town in Wisconsin. It’s the sort of homegrown setting where you feel like you know everyone, and minor things are significant events. Jim Mallon does a great job of capturing the beauty of the lakeside locations while adding a moody atmosphere. It’s worth noting that the key grip was Kevin Murphy, who went on to voice Tom Servo in MST3K. In addition, the movie moves at a steady pace, offering enough time between kills to develop the characters further. Also, the way the killer dispatches his victims with a fishing hook is unique, and each kill is quite bloody. There are also some disturbing moments where the victims are dragged with ropes through their mouths.

    The acting is hit or miss, with some standing out or coming off as a wet blanket. For most of the runtime, Mark Jacobs is a bland lead that makes dumb decisions that hurt his character. Lisa Jane Todd is likable enough as the love interest, but the other would-be victims are pretty forgettable. Bill Lowrie is easily the biggest stand-out in the cast as a crazed Vietnam veteran who rants about conspiracy theories. Don Winters also does a great job playing a friendly fisherman/bait shop owner who might be hiding something sinister. Also worth noting is Sandy Meuwissen, who is irresistibly cute, and her bubbly personality makes her endearing. The movie clocks in at 111 minutes, which is long for this type of movie, but it never drags. Overall, Blood Hook isn’t one of the greatest Troma movies, but it’s an underrated gem.

     

    Buy Blood Hook from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3UkWKit.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Llamageddon (2015)

    Llamageddon (2015)

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    While attending the University of Miami, Robert Horn shot a student film about a killer llama run amok. After graduation, Horn felt he could expand the short film into a full-length feature, so he worked to acquire funds. Thanks to a university grant, he earned a budget of $3,000 to make his killer llama movie a reality. To keep costs down and help some aspiring filmmakers, Horn hired around 25-30 college students for the cast and crew. Horn specifically wanted to use llamas simply because he had access to one that he could use. Horn wanted his movie to be an intentionally campy B-movie, and almost everyone used pseudonyms as part of the joke. For example, Robert Horn became Howie Dewin, and the cinematographer became Chet Steadman. After a limited theatrical run in April 2015, Llamageddon made its way onto streaming services later that year.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”30″ bar_bg_color=”#E09900″ _builder_version=”4.18.1″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]

    Synopsis

    On a far-off planet full of killer llamas, one of them takes a rocket to invade Earth. During the journey, the ship gets damaged and crash-lands near a small farm, and the llama kills the farmers. Meanwhile, siblings Floyd (James Earl Cox III) and Mel (Pinki Brainweis) are coming back from their grandparents’ funeral. While their mother has to take care of the will, Floyd and Mel must watch over their grandparents’ house. Mel takes this opportunity to invite several friends, including her boyfriend Trent (Gooch Jesco III), over for a party. While everyone is either getting drunk or stoned, they’re unaware of the killer llama stalking outside looking for prey. Soon enough, the llama starts killing off the partygoers in ridiculous ways, including electrocution, heart removal, and toxic spit. Who will make it out alive, and will this killer llama be stopped?

     

    Review

    In my review of The VelociPastor, I mentioned how I’m generally not a fan of intentionally bad movies. To me, films that’re supposed to be terrible feel hollow and artificial, like the filmmakers use it as an excuse. I gave VelociPastor some credit because, even though it’s meant to be ridiculous, it felt like the filmmakers tried. With Llamageddon, it feels like the filmmakers put little to no effort into making this movie. Granted, they had a $30,000 budget to work with, but I’ve seen several low-budget films that look better than this. The directing is flat, the acting is bad all across the board, and the effects are laughably terrible. The only legitimately good thing is the animated segments, which are amateurish but are easily the best parts. However, I can criticize this movie all I want, but doing so is a pointless venture.

    Everything in this movie is supposed to be terrible: the story, the characters, the effects, the script, etc. You’re not supposed to go into a film about a llama with laser eyes that kills people expecting high art. This is meant to be a horror-comedy, and I could get behind that if it were funny, which it isn’t. Aside from the absurd premise, most of the jokes fall flat and have been done better in other movies. None of the characters are likable, which I’m sure was the point, but it’s a lazy writing trope. Even at 69 minutes in length (Get it?), there is so much filler that it feels like it drags on. However, if anything I’ve described sounds appealing to you, you’ll have more fun than I did. Overall, Llamageddon is precisely what you think it is, but don’t expect anything more.

     

    Watch Llamageddon on Amazon Prime: https://amzn.to/3U9wiIj.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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    Where to watch Llamageddon (2015)

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  • Killjoy Goes to Hell (2012)

    Killjoy Goes to Hell (2012)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.1″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]While the first two movies came and went, Killjoy 3 was more successful than Full Moon expected. Despite the profits, the studio wasn’t pushing for another entry, primarily because of how outside their wheelhouse it was. According to writer/director John Lechago, they built sets in Full Moon’s offices since they had no studio access. Filming lasted seven days, but Lechago insisted on one additional filming day, which consisted of 10 hours of shooting. While most Full Moon movies aren’t necessarily connected, Lechago wanted this to be a direct sequel to the last one. Several of the previous film’s cast – Trent Haaga, Victoria De Mare, Al Burke, Tai Chan Ngo, and Jessica Whitaker – returned. With a reported budget of $85,000, Lechago went all out on this film and let his creativity run wild. On October 2012, Killjoy Goes to Hell made its way onto DVD shelves for a rabid audience.
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    Synopsis

    The demon clown Killjoy (Trent Haaga) is taken to Hell’s courtroom to stand trial with Beezlebub (Stephen F. Cardwell) overseeing. Jezabeth, the Devil’s Advocate (Aqueela Zoll), accuses Killjoy of going soft, especially after letting one of his victims go. The said victim is Sandie (Jessica Whitaker), who’s been committed to a psych ward after witnessing her friends’ murders. While in prison, Killjoy meets Skid Mark (John Karyus), an aspiring clown demon who wants to be Killjoy’s attorney. Using Skid’s human blood, Killjoy summons Punchy (Al Burke), Freakshow (Tai Chan Ngo), and Batty Boop (Victoria De Mare). He has them act as his witnesses, but unfortunately, the trial goes south, and Killjoy’s existence is in jeopardy. In a last-ditch effort, Batty and Freakshow use a magic mirror to bring Sandie to Hell as a witness. Little do they know that Skid Mark, Killjoy’s attorney, has his own agenda.

     

    Review

    Killjoy Goes to Hell is more of the same as Killjoy 3, for better or for worse. Lechago injects the same manic energy, irreverent humor, and cost-effective filmmaking that made the last Killjoy movie work. Admittedly, the script isn’t the greatest, with most of the dialogue either being exposition dumps or overuse of expletives. Some moody lighting, decent makeup effects, and exciting production design make it stand out. While this movie had a low budget, Lechago managed to make effective use of that small budget. But the film’s biggest highlight is Trent Haaga’s performance in the title role as the demon clown. Like in the last movie, he has the time of his life in the part, making Killjoy demented and funny. It helps that Burke, Ngo, and De Mare work great opposite Haaga, each having their moments to shine.

    Sadly, much of the human cast isn’t the greatest, but they’re not the movie’s focus. When Jessica Whittaker tries to act crazy by laughing constantly, it comes off as restrained and flat-sounding. When she’s dragged to Hell to confront Killjoy, her performance picks up, and she has some great lines. John Karyus is OK as the comic relief, but he can get annoying, though it feels intentional. Even though she wasn’t hired for her acting talent, Aqueela Zoll is stunning as Jezabeth, and she has some moments. While the practical effects are decent, there is some questionable CGI that looks straight from a Sega CD game. Also, this is the most extended entry so far at an hour and thirty-three minutes, but it’s not too padded. Overall, Killjoy Goes to Hell is a mostly entertaining, somewhat messy entry in Full Moon’s catalog.

     

    Buy Killjoy Goes to Hell from:

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • The VelociPastor (2018)

    The VelociPastor (2018)

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    While attending the School of Visual Arts in 2010, aspiring filmmaker Brendan Steere got an idea from an unlikely source. At some point, his phone autocorrected “velociraptor” to “veloci pastor,” which gave him the inspiration for a short film. Steere made a short film consisting of fake grindhouse trailers, one of which was for a movie called The VelociPastor. The video got tons of attention on YouTube, which inspired Steere to adapt the trailer into a full-length feature film. Between 2011 to 2016, he tried to raise funds for the movie through Kickstarter and Seed&Spark, but neither proved successful. Luckily, a private investor who was friends with his mother provided $35,000 to get the film going. The movie premiered in Portland in 2017, and eventually, Wild Eye Releasing picked up the distribution rights in 2018. In 2019, The VelociPastor hit DVD, Blu-ray, and streaming services across the country.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”60″ bar_bg_color=”#EDF000″ _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    While traveling through China on a spiritual journey, pastor Doug Jones (Gregory James Cohan) stumbles across an ancient artifact. Jones accidentally gets infected by the relic, which allegedly turns people into the “Dragon Warrior.” After having a series of nightmares, Jones wanders into a forest, turns into a dinosaur, and attacks some thugs. He wakes up in the bed of local prostitute Carol (Alyssa Kempinski), who explains what happened the previous night. She suggests Doug can use his powers to eliminate crime, but Doug doesn’t want to be responsible for killing people. That changes when Carol’s pimp Frankie Mermaid (Fernando Pacheco de Castro) confesses to Doug he killed his parents. After eviscerating Mermaid, Doug decides to kill evildoers despite objections from Father Stewart (Daniel Steere). Soon, a group of ninjas led by Wei Chan (Yang Jiechang) kidnaps Carol, forcing Doug into velociraptor action.

     

    Review

    Depending on your reaction to the title and premise, The VelociPastor will be either fantastic or stupid. This film is nothing more than a cheesy B-movie, and it mostly succeeds at being an entertaining one. Much like the original fake trailer, Brendan Steere filmed this in an old 1970s grindhouse movie style. There are film scratches, the occasional cigarette burn, and title cards in place of missing footage. Something tells me the filmmakers didn’t shoot this movie on film, but these touches help make it stand out. Also, while the movie is meant to be more tongue-in-cheek, every actor plays their parts completely straight. Greg Cohan makes for a great leading man, his performance reminiscent of Lon Chaney Jr. from The Wolf Man. Alyssa Kempinski also stands out as the hooker with a heart of gold and has excellent chemistry with Cohan.

    The movie looks pretty good for a $30,000 budget, with some moody lighting and decent practical effects. While not the greatest, the gore effects are decent, with plenty of throat-slashing and blood sprays. As for the dinosaur itself, it helps that the filmmakers took the Jaws approach and didn’t show the suit much. When you get a complete look at the costume, it doesn’t look good, but it adds to the charm. Thankfully, you don’t see the dinosaur until the last 10 minutes, and you’re so engrossed that you don’t mind. Usually, I’m not a fan of intentionally bad movies because they typically feel hollow and artificial. In this case, it feels like the people behind the film cared and wanted to make a fun, dumb movie. Overall, The VelociPastor isn’t going to set the world on fire, but it’s enjoyable if you like cheesy movies.

     

    Buy The VelociPastor from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3f6W4y5.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Black Adam (2022)

    Black Adam (2022)

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    Originally debuting in The Marvel Family #1 in 1945, Black Adam has gone from villain to corrupted anti-hero. While he first appeared in Fawcett comics as Captain Marvel/Shazam’s rival, DC resurrected the character in the early 1970s. In the early 2000s, New Line Cinema began developing a Shazam movie with Peter Segal slated to direct in 2006. The studio approached Dwayne Johnson to star, but he was also interested in playing Black Adam around 2007. Production stalled until 2014 when Warner Bros resurrected the project as part of their new shared DC universe. After the success of Shazam! in 2019, New Line Cinema prioritized Black Adam, with Jaume Collet-Serra as director. Principal photography began in April 2021 and wrapped in August, with a surprise cameo filmed in September 2022. After extensive post-production work, Black Adam premiered in Mexico City in October 2022 before reaching the US later that month.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”70″ bar_bg_color=”#EDF000″ _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    In 2600 BCE, the tyrannical king of Kahndaq had forged a powerful item called the Crown of Sabbac. Cut to the present day, where archaeologist Adrianna Tomaz (Sarah Shahi) searches for the crown to keep it hidden. Unfortunately, the Intergang crime syndicate, who’ve taken control of Kahndaq, ambush Adrianna and her colleagues searching for the artifact. During the attack, Adrianna recites a chant that awakens Teth-Adam (Dwayne Johnson), Kahndaq’s champion, who slaughters the Intergang troops. His presence catches the attention of Amanda Waller (Viola Davis), who dispatches the JSA (Justice Society of America) to intercept. Consisting of Hawkman (Aldis Hodge), Doctor Fate (Pierce Brosnan), Cyclone (Quintessa Swindell), and Atom Smasher (Noah Centineo), they confront Adam. However, they soon discover that Adrianna’s cousin Ishmael (Marwan Kenzari) is Intergang’s leader and wants the crown’s power. Our heroes must put aside their differences to stop Ishmael from obtaining the powers of Sabbac.

     

    Review

    Black Adam is a bit of a mess, but it’s an entertaining mess, largely thanks to its lead actors. Dwayne Johnson carries this movie, delivering a commanding and charismatic performance that makes the viewing experience more enjoyable. The film’s best moments are when Johnson uses his godlike powers to wipe out mercenaries in surprisingly gruesome ways. For a PG-13-rated movie, the filmmakers pushed how far they could go with the violence while barely avoiding an R-rating. The supporting cast also does a good job, with Pierce Brosnan and Aldis Hodge almost stealing the show from Johnson. When the JSA shows up, the action ramps up as they battle with Teth-Adam across the city streets. It is also entertaining to watch them argue about how the JSA doesn’t kill while Adam has no qualms. Plus, at just slightly over two hours, it gets the job done relatively quickly.

    Unfortunately, for all its spectacle and action, the movie’s story is weak, and the villain is unremarkable. The film doesn’t do much to introduce audiences to characters like Dr. Fate, Hawkman, Cyclone, and Atom Smasher. There is so much exposition dumped on you that it’s hard to track just what is happening. Unless you’re a DC expert, you will feel lost on who these characters are and what their backstories are. The movie tries to throw in a few twists into the story, but many of them are easily predictable. In terms of its place in the DCEU, the film introduces a lot that later movies can expand upon. While the story isn’t all that original or compelling, the action and performances make it worth a watch. Overall, Black Adam may not be the most excellent superhero movie, but it provides some decent entertainment.

    [/et_pb_text][et_pb_code _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]Buy Your Tickets on Sale to watch “Black Adam” playing in theaters starting October 21![/et_pb_code][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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