Category: Troma Tuesdays

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Minnesota-born Jim Mallon is probably best known today as one of the creators of Mystery Science Theater 3000. However, back in the mid-1980s, he had just graduated from college when he got a job at WHA-TV in Madison. Since converting to video, the studio had access to tons of unused film equipment, which Mallon decided to use. He contacted his old friend David Herbert to write a script based on an early short film. With a budget of $200,000, filming lasted for 35 days in Hayward, Wisconsin, under the title Muskie Madness. While initially planned for a 1986 release, the film had to be trimmed to avoid an X rating for violence. At some point, Troma acquired the distribution rights to the film and decided to re-edit and re-title the picture. In April 1987, Troma released Mallon’s film in theaters as Blood Hook.

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Synopsis

Seventeen years after witnessing his grandfather’s death, Peter van Clease (Mark Jacobs) returns to his hometown for a fishing festival. There’s also his girlfriend Ann (Lisa Jane Todd) and friends Rodney (Patrick Danz), Kiersten (Sara Hauser), and Finner (Christopher Whiting). While everyone’s preparing for the Muskie Madness fishing contest, a psychopathic killer is on the loose. His method of choice involves using a large lure on a fishing line to reel in his victims. While the sheriff (Paul Heckman) tries to keep the peace, our heroes scramble to figure out who the killer is. Wayne Duerst (Paul Drake) instantly distrusts Peter and his friends, while his son Evelyn (Bill Lowrie) thinks there’s something more. While suffering from PTSD over his grandfather’s death, Peter has to rise to the occasion and stop the killer. But who is this psychotic fisherman, and why is he catching people with his blood hook?

Review

Blood Hook is a ridiculous movie, and the filmmakers are fully aware of that, but there’s plenty of sincerity. One aspect that works in the movie’s favor is the location, an actual small town in Wisconsin. It’s the sort of homegrown setting where you feel like you know everyone, and minor things are significant events. Jim Mallon does a great job of capturing the beauty of the lakeside locations while adding a moody atmosphere. It’s worth noting that the key grip was Kevin Murphy, who went on to voice Tom Servo in MST3K. In addition, the movie moves at a steady pace, offering enough time between kills to develop the characters further. Also, the way the killer dispatches his victims with a fishing hook is unique, and each kill is quite bloody. There are also some disturbing moments where the victims are dragged with ropes through their mouths.

The acting is hit or miss, with some standing out or coming off as a wet blanket. For most of the runtime, Mark Jacobs is a bland lead that makes dumb decisions that hurt his character. Lisa Jane Todd is likable enough as the love interest, but the other would-be victims are pretty forgettable. Bill Lowrie is easily the biggest stand-out in the cast as a crazed Vietnam veteran who rants about conspiracy theories. Don Winters also does a great job playing a friendly fisherman/bait shop owner who might be hiding something sinister. Also worth noting is Sandy Meuwissen, who is irresistibly cute, and her bubbly personality makes her endearing. The movie clocks in at 111 minutes, which is long for this type of movie, but it never drags. Overall, Blood Hook isn’t one of the greatest Troma movies, but it’s an underrated gem.

Buy Blood Hook from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3UkWKit.

Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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Since 1978, Park City, Utah, has hosted the Sundance Film Festival, the largest independent film festival in the US. However, in 1999, Troma founder/president Lloyd Kaufman saw how mainstream Sundance became and decided to do something about it. So, he founded TromaDance, “the first and only film festival of the people, for the people, and by the people.” Unlike Sundance, filmmakers don’t have to pay submission fees, and screenings are open to the general public. In its 20+ year history, TromaDance has showcased numerous low-budget, independent movies from aspiring filmmakers across the country. Two such filmmakers were Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson, who met while attending VCU to study moviemaking. Since some audiences have complained about horror films being misogynistic, Bolduc and Nelson decided to base their movie around that. So, at TromaDance 2011, their debut feature film, The Taint, was screened to a packed house.

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Synopsis

In a small, remote town, the water supply gets contaminated with toxic chemicals that affect the men who drink it. Any man who drinks the infected water becomes a savage brute who targets women to rape and kill. Thankfully, Phil O’Ginny (Drew Bolduc) hasn’t been affected, but he must bear witness to the horrors around him. While stumbling through the woods, he meets Misandra (Colleen Walsh), who killed her husband after he tried killing her. As they travel across town, they must contend with the mutated men, who sport massive, pulsating erections. Eventually, Phil and Misandra meet Ludas (Kenneth Hall), a loner with a strange mask who explains what caused the contamination. They learn that scientists were working to create a chemical to give men larger penises, but the experiments backfired. With society crumbling around them, it’s up to Phil and Misandra to put things right.

Review

On the surface, The Taint is a gross-out horror comedy with crass humor, cheap effects, and bad acting. However, if you look closely, you’ll find a reasonably intelligent film that pokes fun at misogyny. Often, people label horror as a genre about exploiting women, so Buldoc and Nelson decided to satirize this. The men are cartoonishly savage and brutal; even Phil isn’t exactly a squeaky clean hero. Misandra is the only halfway decent character in the movie, playing a role fit for Sigourney Weaver. Still, the film works because it never beats you with social commentary but instead wants to entertain. There are so many exploding penises in this movie you’d swear that Anita Sarkeesian had a hand in making this. Not only that, but in true Troma fashion, numerous bodily fluids spew out by the gallons. It’s hands down one of Troma’s grossest movies.

Drew Buldoc plays Phil as a goofy, snarky prick that doesn’t seem to care about much, and he’s excellent. He comes off like a stereotypical hipster, and seeing his nonreactions to the carnage around him is hilarious. Colleen Walsh plays the part of Misandra completely straight, which contrasts wonderfully with the insanity around her. The movie injects some 80s nostalgia but also lovingly mocks it, adding in silly romances and homoerotic workout montages. Admittedly, the plot can be disjointed since there are times when the action stops for a flashback, seemingly at random. Still, at just an hour and 15 minutes, the movie gets in and out fairly quickly and doesn’t feel padded. Most audiences will hate this, but if you’re a fan of gross-out B-movies, this is for you. Overall, The Taint is a message movie disguised as an entertainingly cheesy splatter film.

Buy The Taint from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3fIWL0z.

Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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In my review of Graduation Day, I talked about filmmaker Herb Freed’s history as a rabbi turned movie director. As previously mentioned, Freed met producer David Baughn and started a partnership making horror films in the early 1980s. Not only was horror the cheapest genre of film to make, but it was also the most profitable. After directing Haunts in 1976, Freed wanted to make a more spiritually driven horror film, given his religious background. Baughn managed to acquire a small budget, and the shooting began in the Philippines in August 1979. Freed worked with co-writer Paul Ross, whose credits included Kitty Can’t Help It and Journey Into The Beyond in 1975. While working on the film, Baughn told Freed, “You know, this isn’t just evil. This is beyond evil.” That comment stuck with Freed, so the film hit theaters as Beyond Evil in May 1980.

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Synopsis

Architect Larry Andrews (John Saxon) and his wife Barbara (Lynda Day George) are moving into a condominium in the Philippines. Upon arrival, they’re greeted by Larry’s business partner Del (Michael Dante), who Barbara suspects is using her husband. It turns out she’s not far off as Del has them staying at a supposedly haunted mansion. According to local legend, Alma Martin (Janice Lynde) and her husband Esteban (Zitto Kazann) killed themselves inside the estate. Strange things start happening as Barbara has visions of a woman and even stabs her hand uncontrollably. Some locals, including Dr. Solomon (David Opatoshu), warn Larry that Alma’s spirit is trying to possess Barbara’s body. Despite Larry’s insistence on leaving, Barbara refuses, and soon Del and Solomon’s daughter Leia (Anne Marisse) wind up dead. Will Larry be able to save his wife and marriage, or will Alma’s vengeful spirit consume Barbara?

Review

Compared to Graduation Day, Beyond Evil isn’t as memorable or entertaining, but plenty is going for it. For one, the cast does a great job, with Saxon and George as the highlights. Saxon offers the same cool and calculated demeanor he brings to every other role he’s played. Like in Pieces, George is pretty decent, but she has moments where she amps it up and chews up the scenery. Michael Dante is alright as Saxon’s colleague/friend, but he doesn’t do much until 2/3 of the way through. Freed manages to inject plenty of mood and atmosphere with his use of shadows, colored lighting, and fog. As always, Pino Donaggio’s score elevates the movie by adding a mix of orchestral and synth styles. Unfortunately, for all the film has going for it, the whole thing feels lackluster, though not without some merits.

The biggest problem with the film is its sluggish pace, making it a chore to watch. Some creepy stuff happens here and there, but it’s primarily a marriage drama that does play into the movie. Considering the ghost that possessed Barbara was a woman who killed her husband, there are parallels between the two. As I said, the actors help make it enjoyable, but the script doesn’t give them much to work with. It’s not until about halfway through that things start to get interesting as tons of crazy stuff starts happening. Supposedly, part of the film’s incomprehensibility was due to a series of reshoots done because MGM ruined the original negative. This would explain some of the hokey optical effects, which add a bit of campy charm to the movie. Overall, Beyond Evil has plenty to offer, but it’s a case of the parts being greater than the sum.

Buy Beyond Evil from Amazon: https://amzn.to/48HwKGA.

Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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Where to watch Beyond Evil (1980)

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In 1978, New World Pictures released Starcrash, an Italian Star Wars knock-off featuring Caroline Munro and Joe Spinell. Two years later, they starred in the controversial 1980 horror film Maniac, a surprise box office hit. Around this time, Munro’s husband Judd Hamilton was making deals with Cannon Films to produce a sequel to Starcrash. While trying to find interest at the Cannes Film Festival in 1981, Hamilton and actor-turned-filmmaker David Winters had an idea. Using Cannes as the backdrop, they decided to make a film meant to bring Munro and Spinell back together. However, much of the filming was done guerilla style since the festival was going on and they couldn’t secure permits. After a limited theatrical run in 1982, the film faded into obscurity until Troma acquired the rights. In 2009, Troma released a restored director’s cut of the film, The Last Horror Film, on DVD.

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Synopsis

Vinny Durand (Joe Spinell) is a New York taxi driver who dreams of becoming a filmmaker despite his mother’s objections. Durand aspires to make the ultimate horror film starring the B-movie “queen of horror films” Jana Bates (Caroline Munro). To accomplish this, he buys a plane ticket to France, where Bates is attending the Cannes Film Festival. Unfortunately, every time he tries to reach out to Jana, Vinny is turned away by security and her producers. While this happens, people close to Jana, including her manager/ex-husband Bret (Glenn Jacobson), are murdered. Not only that, but the killer also films all the murders, like how Vinny films Jana wherever she goes. Unfortunately, the attendees think the murders are part of a publicity stunt despite Jana’s pleas for help. Will the killer’s identity be revealed, or will this end up being the last horror film for Jana Bates?

Review

While the final product is somewhat disjointed, The Last Horror Film is a fascinating mesh of horror and satire. First and foremost, Joe Spinell gives another captivating performance, showing he had the potential to be a leading man. He nails the part of a creepy stalker, but there’s a part of you that makes you sympathize with him. Even though he acts weird and comes off as delusional, his character has the drive to make his film. Caroline Munro is stunningly beautiful, and her scenes with Spinell are great moments of tension and suspense. Also, the filmmakers took full advantage of the location, showcasing the Cannes Film Festival on a grand scale. It’s a fascinating time capsule of what movies were being sold back in 1981 and the French locales. Given the lengths they had to go through to shoot in these locations, it’s impressive what they pulled off.

However, as ambitious as the film is, this results in an inconsistent tone that makes the film feel disjointed. While there technically is a straightforward narrative, it feels like director David Winters just filmed whatever he wanted. The story of a crazed stalker chasing after his favorite actress would’ve been fine enough, but they try adding commentary. The movie references the attempted assassination of Ronald Reagan by John Hinckley Jr, which inspired the central plot. They also criticize then-modern horror films for being too gory, despite Spinell previously starring in Maniac, a notorious grisly movie. Admittedly, this satire does lead to an ending that comes out of nowhere that adds a clever twist. Gorehounds will probably be disappointed, but those who appreciate movies like Scream might find this interesting. Overall, The Last Horror Film is a slight mess, but it’s got two great leads and plenty of ambition.

Buy The Last Horror Film from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3Tmbtdc.

Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.6″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]Born in Newark in 1922, John N. Carter has worked as an editor in the film industry since the 1960s. His first credit was the 1968 sports movie Paper Lion, directed by Alex Marsh with Alan Alda and Lauren Hutton. He also edited the 1972 film The Hearbreak Kid, which earned Oscar nominations for actors Eddie Albert and Jeannie Berlin. Carter got a BAFTA award nomination for best editing for his work on Milos Forman’s 1971 film Taking Off. In the early 1980s, Carter got the chance to direct his first feature film, originally titled The Last Picnic. The film gained notable publicity for starring Rita Jenrette, who made headlines after having sex on the Capitol steps. Filming took place in Jamaica for five weeks, from January to March 1983, and Troma picked up the distribution rights. Before its 1984 release, Troma changed the title to Zombie Island Massacre.

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Synopsis

A group of American tourists is vacationing in the Caribbean and decide to stop at a nearby island. The local tour guide (Dennis Stephenson) takes them to St. Marie to witness a live voodoo ritual. The voodoo priest (Trevor Reid) uses goat blood to bring a dead man back from the grave before dispatching him. As the group returns to their bus, they find that the driver is gone, and there’s blood everywhere. With few options available, they decide to hold up in a nearby house until help hopefully arrives. Unfortunately, a group of locals starts swarming the place and picking off the tourists. Heads get chopped off, bodies get stabbed, and machetes make direct contact with people’s faces. But who will make it out alive as these unlucky tourists try to survive the zombie island massacre? However, not everything is as it seems on this island.

Review

To get this out of the way, the title Zombie Island Massacre isn’t entirely false, but it’s still a lie. There is an island and a massacre (kind of), but there aren’t any zombies or at least traditional ones. We get voodoo zombies, but even that’s a stretch since we only get the one ritual scene. The movie plays more like a slasher film than a zombie film, from the body count to the death scenes. The fact that Harry Manfredini, composer of the Friday the 13th movies, recycled his score adds to it. Even then, the kills aren’t all that interesting, as most occur offscreen with little to no suspense. There is a surprisingly decent decapitation where the head moves a bit before dying, but that’s about it. Aside from that, it’s primarily dull scenes of people sitting around doing nothing and talking nonsense.

Most of the acting is pretty sub-standard, with everyone doing the bare minimum with their performances. Rita Jenrette does her best with the bit of material she has to work with. Granted, the filmmakers most likely hired her because she could do nudity, which there’s plenty of here. To John N. Carter’s credit, the direction is pretty solid, and they took full advantage of the filming locations. Also, there are some genuinely funny moments, but whether they’re amusing on purpose is anyone’s guess. In addition to Manfredini’s score, there’s a pretty catchy reggae song on the soundtrack that’s worth a listen. Still, these few positive aspects can’t compensate for the viewing experience’s dullness. The movie is an endurance test best enjoyed with friends and drinks at an hour and twenty-eight minutes. Overall, Zombie Island Massacre isn’t awful, but there are much better slasher/zombie films you could be watching instead.

Buy Zombie Island Massacre from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3CdcfoQ.

Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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Being a fan of low-budget horror/science-fiction films from the 1950s-60s, John P. Finnegan wanted to make his own. He raised $100,000 from a group of friends to fund his independent project, but he didn’t know the technical side. For the crew, Finnegan held a talk at NYU to recruit film students to work on his new horror film. Under the title The Portrait, Finnegan gathered his cast and crew to film for four weeks in Philadelphia. Given that most of the cast and crew came out of film school, this would be their first professional credit. Since many horror movies back then had blood and gore, Finnegan avoided those to make his film stand out. After post-production wrapped, Finnegan took the film to New York, where Troma bought it for distribution. However, Troma edited new gore scenes into the movie and released it as Girls’ School Screamers.

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Synopsis

Seven students from Trinity College, an all-girls school, must stay at the Welles mansion to catalog an old art collection. Among them are Jackie (Mollie O’Mara), Elizabeth (Sharon Christopher), Kate (Mari Butler), Karen (Beth O’Malley), and Susan (Karen Krevitz). Alongside Adelle (Marcia Hinton) and Rosemary (Monica Antonucci), they work on cataloging with Sister Mary Urban (Vera Gallagher) watches them. That night, the girls hold a seance to contact Jennifer Welles, a former student who supposedly died in the mansion. Unfortunately, the seance seems to awaken some kind of ancient evil in the manor as the girls get picked off. Jackie’s boyfriend Paul (Peter Cosimano) and his friend Bruce (John Turner) arrive to help, but they too fall victim. After stumbling across a portrait of Jennifer, Jackie learns more about her and discovers a horrible secret about her death. But just who or what is killing her fellow students?

Review

While it’s not technically terrible, Girls’ School Screamers is a woefully uninteresting watch, which might be worse. Granted, it’s not as insufferable to sit through as Igor and the Lunatics, but it isn’t hilariously awful either. None of the girls stand out in any way, and you’ll have difficulty remembering their names. I had to go to the movie’s Wikipedia page to remind myself which girl was which. Also, once the girls get to the mansion, it grinds to a halt as they wander through the hallways. It’s not until the last 20 minutes or so that things start to pick up. Even then, it’s hard to care since nothing has happened for the previous 60 minutes. I can see what the filmmakers were going for in trying to create a suspenseful mystery/ghost story. Unfortunately, the execution leaves a lot to be desired.

However, that’s not to say that this movie lacks any positive qualities, as there are a few noteworthy aspects. For one, the location they picked out looks excellent and almost feels like a character in its own right. There are also a few scenes where they build up plenty of suspense and tension to make them feel ominous. While some would view Troma’s reediting as backstabbing, I feel like the added gore scenes helped in the long run. These 28 seconds of violence caught my attention and got me invested in what was happening. Also, for all I said about the cast, it does feel like they’re trying their best as non-actors. Even if it’s not the most engaging film, you can tell the people behind it were putting in the effort. Overall, Girls’ School Screamers is a mess, but there are far worse ways to spend eighty-five minutes.

Buy Girls’ School Screamers from Amazon as part of The Sexy Box: https://amzn.to/3QOuEei.

Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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