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Category: Cult Films

  • Robot Wars (1993)

    Robot Wars (1993)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]By 1993, Full Moon Features was on a roll and had some of their biggest successes in their history. In addition to starting up many popular franchises, Full Moon launched Moonbeam Entertainment, a line of kids’ sci-fi/fantasy films. 1993 alone saw the release of Bloodstone: Subspecies II, Dollman vs. Demonic Toys, and Puppet Master 4 among others. They also had plenty of other movies in production, but many of them wouldn’t see a release until after 1993. While Charles Band oversaw the films as a producer, he only directed a few, oftentimes with his father Albert Band. Though credited as co-directors on Doctor Mordrid, Albert basically filled in for Charles since he was busy running the company. For their 1993 follow-up to 1989’s Robot Jox, it was originally a father-son project before Albert had to take over. Robot Wars was released direct-to-video in April 1993.

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    Synopsis

    In the year 2041, Earth has been divided into two factions: the North Hemi and the Eastern Alliance. With their declining economy, the North Hemi is making a deal to manufacture defensive robots for the Eastern Alliance. Dubbed “mini-megs”, they’re smaller versions of “mega-robots”, giant military robots now used for civilian transport, including the Mega-Robotic Assault System-2. Also known as the MRAS-2, the robot is piloted by Captain Drake (Don Michael Paul) and copilot Stumpy (James Staley). During a run, they’re attacked by terrorists called “Centros”, and Drake is ordered to attack by Chief Rooney (Peter Haskell). Rooney wants to impress Eastern Alliance General Wa-Lee (Danny Kamekona) and his aide Chou-Sing (Yuji Okumoto) to negotiate the deal. Meanwhile, Dr. Leda Fanning (Barbara Crampton) and her reporter friend Annie (Lisa Rinna) suspect that there’s more going on. Soon, Drake and Stumpy join and discover something sinister being planned.

     

    Review

    While not as action-packed as Robot Jox, Robot Wars is still a fairly entertaining low-budget sci-fi film that’s also short. Like Stuart Gordon’s film, one of the highlights here is the stop-motion animation by the late great David Allen. Admittedly, there are only two robots in the whole movie, and they don’t do much, but the stop-motion is impressive. While it may seem archaic by today’s standards, there’s a realness to them that can’t be replicated with CGI. Plot-wise, it shares some similarities with Stuart Gordon’s film, namely the opposing factions that are essentially East vs West. For a film that’s roughly 70 minutes in length, there’s a surprising amount of world-building that adds to the story. It almost makes you wish that they’d build on it further, but it’s more window dressing than anything else. Then again, Full Moon’s not really known for its deep stories.

    Don Michael Paul makes for a fun lead, playing it as ridiculously cocky and arrogant as possible. Barbara Crampton has some decent chemistry with him, though their love story feels shoehorned in considering she initially hates him. It’s interesting to see Danny Kamekona play a bad guy considering his role in Robot Jox, where he was good. Though she isn’t given much to do, Lisa Rinna is incredibly gorgeous and makes for a good sidekick to Crampton. Additionally, some of the blue screen work is very noticeable and sticks out in a bad way. Also, there’s a sequence involving a 90s-style ghost town that’s clearly there so they wouldn’t have to build sets. Still, many of these points are mute since this is meant purely to show stop-motion robots fighting, which it delivers. Overall, Robot Wars is a fun movie that’s perfect for a Saturday afternoon.

     

    Buy Robot Wars from

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • It’s Pat (1994)

    It’s Pat (1994)

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    During the 16th season of Saturday Night Live, the character of Pat, played by Julia Sweeney, was introduced. The joke about the character was that they are of undetermined gender and people are trying to figure it out. Having been featured in 14 sketches, the Pat character became one of the more popular characters on the show. However, over the years, the character has been criticized for negatively portraying people who are struggling with gender identity issues. Regardless, the character proved popular enough that a film adaptation was being considered after Wayne’s World was a financial success. The film was originally to be produced by Fox before they dropped out and Touchstone Pictures picked it up. With a budget of $8 million, the cast comprised of SNL veterans Julia Sweeney, Charles Rocket, and Tim Meadows. Finally, August 1994 saw the release of Adam Bernstein’s It’s Pat.

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    Synopsis

    Pat Riley (Julia Sweeney) is a heavyset person of undetermined gender who’s wanting more out of life. Unfortunately, they’ve been fired from every job they’ve had and Pat seems to not be happy with any of them. One day, Pat meets Chris (Dave Foley), a similarly androgynous person working as a bartender, and they fall in love. All over town, people keep asking the same question but never get an answer, “What is Pat’s gender?” One such person is Pat’s neighbor Kyle Jacobsen (Charles Rocket), whose curiosity turns into an obsession that ruins his life. Pat goes through a series of “wacky” scenarios, like taking a talk radio show from their neighbor Kathy (Kathy Griffin). Unfortunately, Chris ends up leaving Pat because of their selfishness and their inability to commit to anything in life. Will Pat and Chris be reunited, and how far will Kyle go to learn the truth?

     

    Review

    Ordinarily, I don’t like to throw around the term “worst movie ever” because there will always be something worse. In the case of It’s Pat, this is one instance where I can definitely call something the worst movie ever. In terms of comedy, this film fails on just about every single level and is almost entirely devoid of humor. Most of the “jokes” are pretty low-brow, which was fairly common in the 90s, but none of them land here. What doesn’t help is that Pat is easily one of the most disgusting, obnoxious, and unlikeable leads I’ve ever seen. Granted, I’m not familiar with the original sketch, but I can’t imagine the character being this insufferable on the show. Regardless, so much of the film is filled with Julia Sweeney mugging for the camera and using her obnoxious laugh. You know it’s bad when Kathy Griffin is actually sympathetic.

    Despite the film’s general awfulness, the one bright spot of the whole thing is Charles Rocket and his subplot. I don’t know who told him to treat this like a thriller, but I’m glad he did because it’s amazing. He plays his part with such intensity and creepiness that he’s much more interesting than the lead we’re given. We see his curiosity over Pat’s gender turn to an obsession where he starts dressing up like Pat. If the whole movie were a stalker thriller disguised as a dumb comedy, it might’ve actually been enjoyable. Instead, even at 75 minutes, the film is a pain to sit through, going from one “wacky” scenario to another. If The Blues Brothers and Wayne’s World are considered the gold standard SNL movies, this is easily among the worst. Overall, It’s Pat is easily one of the most painful films I’ve ever sat through.

     

    Buy It’s Pat from Amazon: https://amzn.to/2QDbein

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  • Frostbiter: Wrath of the Wendigo (1994)

    Frostbiter: Wrath of the Wendigo (1994)

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    Tom Chaney was studying filmmaking in Michigan when he met special effects designer Gary Jones while working on The Carrier. The two instantly became good friends, having a shared love for monster movies and started working together. Chaney and Tom were both influenced by Sam Raimi and company, and Jones did special effects on Evil Dead II. While working on commercials and still attending school, Chaney was saving up to buy film stock for his first movie. Over the course of several weekends, Chaney, Jones, and their small cast and crew worked on a fairly ambitious film. Chaney connected with Nanette Sorensen, who produced Singapore Harbor, U.S.A., which Jones worked on, to help finish the film. Though it was originally filmed in 1988, the film, originally titled Wendigo, wouldn’t see a release until 1994. Once Troma picked it up, they released it under the title Frostbiter: Wrath of the Wendigo.

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    Synopsis

    On Manitou Island, friends Gary (Ron Asheton) and Dave (David Wogh) are out hunting when they encounter an old man. Referring to himself as The Guardian (Mike Missler), Gary accidentally shoots him, which breaks the circle holding the Wendigo captive. Meanwhile, The Guardian visits his granddaughter Sandy (Lori Baker) as a ghost to tell her she must reseal the Wendigo. She hires Duke (John Mietelka) to fly her to the island, only for the plane to crash after he’s killed. Elsewhere, Gary’s with his friends Peter (Patrick Butler), Tony (Tom Franks), Nick (Alan Madlane), and Jerry (John Bussard). Along with new guy Leo Phillipe (Devlin Burton), the group encounters chili monsters, witches disguised as centerfolds, and the Wendigo. Before long, the guys are gradually picked off one by one by the Wendigo until only a few are left. Will Sandy successfully reseal the Wendigo, or will she suffer its wrath?

     

    Review

    Frostbiter: Wrath of the Wendigo is one of those movies you’ll either love or hate depending on your expectations. If you’re looking for a low-budget schlocky monster movie with gore and nudity, you’ll more than likely enjoy this. Given that this was made by guys with experience in special effects, those are the movie’s main selling point. For the most part, the effects look pretty decent given the low budget they had to work with. There are some decent gore effects and some fun stop-motion animation sequences that’ll satisfy fans of practical effects. Admittedly, the old man makeup used for The Guardian looks decent in wide shots, but in close-up looks terrible. Some optical effects are thrown in that add to the film’s low-budget charm, particularly towards the finale. Also, the design of the titular Wendigo is pretty cool and easily the best part of the film.

    Unfortunately, what this movie has in terms of effects lacks in story and characters, which are pretty lacking. Granted, something like this shouldn’t require a deep story and nuanced characters, but this doesn’t give much to work with. We hardly get to know anything about the characters other than their names and maybe some ancillary background information. It doesn’t help either that almost everyone is giving a fairly sub-par performance that’s neither good nor bad but forgettable. Ron Asheton and Lori Baker are at least trying given the small amount of material they’re given to work with. Also, in between the scenes of monsters and gore, the film is padded out with tons of filler. These scenes ultimately lead to nothing and drag down the pacing of a fairly short film at under 90 minutes. Overall, Frostbiter: Wrath of the Wendigo is an average monster movie worth watching once.

     

    Buy Frostbiter: Wrath of the Wendigo from Amazon: https://amzn.to/2S6faIR

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  • Vicious Lips (1986)

    Vicious Lips (1986)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]Originally from Hawaii, Albert Pyun got his first taste of the film industry through an internship with Akira Kurosawa. Following his time in Japan, he moved to Los Angeles to become a director and started with a bang. Made on a budget of $4 million, his 1982 debut The Sword and the Sorcerer grossed almost $40 million domestically. With this success, Pyun was hired by Dino De Laurentius to helm 1985’s Radioactive Dreams, which made a decent profit. Unfortunately, his experience shooting for De Laurentius proved too overwhelming, so he decided his next film would be smaller scale. He decided to shoot his next film on a budget of roughly $100,000 in a week using very few locations. At some point, Empire Pictures got involved and acquired the film for release, only for it to be quickly forgotten. The result was the 1986 sci-fi punk rock film, Vicious Lips.

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    Synopsis

    In an unspecified future, Matty Asher (Anthony Kentz) is looking for a new lead singer for his band, Vicious Lips. He lucks out when he finds Judy Jetson (Dru-Anne Perry) at a local talent show and immediately signs her on. She meets the other band members, Bree Syn (Gina Calabrese), Wynzi Krodo (Linda Kerridge), and Mandaa Uueu (Shayne Farris). While the other band members don’t take a liking to her, Judy does a good job at their first show. Matty manages to get them a gig with music mogul Maxine Mortogo (Mary-Anne Graves) at her club, the Radioactive Dream. They steal a ship to get to the show, only to hit an asteroid and crash onto a desert planet. While Matty goes to find help, the girls stay behind, unaware that a Venusian beast (Christian Andrews) is onboard. Will they escape the planet, or will the beast get them first?

     

    Review

    Vicious Lips is a film that has a lot going for it only to squander any potential it had. The opening 30 minutes start off really strong, but then the proceeding 40 minutes drag the pacing to a halt. While it’s clear the budget was low, the production design has a unique punk rock sci-fi style to it. It’s very grungy and rundown-looking, mixed in with some neon colors, reminiscent of night clubs you’d see in Los Angeles. Even the spaceship has a charming low-budget quality about it, though it slightly resembles the one from Galaxy of Terror. It certainly helps that the art director was Bob Ziembicki, who later worked on Dead Man and Boogie Nights. Also, there’s the solid creature effects from future Oscar winner Greg Cannom and the ever dependable John Carl Buechler. However, the best part of the film is the awesome soundtrack by Sue Saad.

    Unfortunately, that’s where most of my positives for Vicious Lips stop since the majority of it doesn’t work. Even though I said the first 30 minutes were the best part, there’s some quick-cut editing that’s choppy and disorienting. However, once they’re on the desert planet, the next 40 minutes of the film grind to a screeching halt. Most of it consists of the girls sitting around the ship talking about inane stuff that doesn’t advance the plot. It doesn’t help that, with the exception of Anthony Kentz, Christian Andrews, and maybe Dru-Anne Perry, everyone comes off lifeless. Even Linda Kerridge, who was fantastic in Fade to Black, seems like she’d rather be anywhere else than here. It all culminates in an ending so abrupt and confusing, you’ll be left baffled as to what actually happened. Overall, Vicious Lips is a film that could’ve been fun but instead is just boring.

     

    Buy Vicious Lips from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3NPVcvl.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Sugar Cookies (1973)

    Sugar Cookies (1973)

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    Years before forming Troma Entertainment, Lloyd Kaufman was studying at Yale University alongside lifelong friend and future filmmaker Oliver Stone. In the mid-1960s, both decided to take a hiatus from Yale: Lloyd went to Chad and Oliver served in Vietnam. After returning to Yale, Kaufman decided to pursue filmmaking, starting with 1969’s The Girl Who Returned. Later on, he started working at Cannon Films alongside John G. Avildsen, who later directed Rocky and The Karate Kid. In 1971, Kaufman directed his follow-up film, The Battle of Love’s Return, which featured his old friend Oliver Stone acting. It was on said film that Kaufman met future cult actress Lynn Lowry, who he was immediately smitten by. He cast her in his next film, which was directed by Theodore Gershuny, who previously directed Silent Night, Bloody Night. That film was finally released to theaters in 1973 as Sugar Cookies.

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    Synopsis

    During a bizarre sexual teasing, actress Alta Leigh (Lynn Lowry) is killed by her pornographer boyfriend Max Pavell (George Shannon). Following her death, Max and his other lover Camilla Stone (Mary Woronov) look for another girl to manipulate. During auditions, Camilla meets Julie Kent (Lynn Lowry), an aspiring actress who looks exactly like Alta. Camilla decides to befriend Julie and earn her trust in an attempt to turn her into Alta for Max. Over the course of a few days, Julie starts growing close to Camilla, completely unaware of her true intentions. Meanwhile, Max is having an affair with his secretary (Jennifer Welles) and manipulating his nephew Gus (Daniel Sadur). Soon, Max meets Julie and is immediately smitten by her, though he’s unaware of what Camilla is up to. It all culminates in an explosive twist that will leave you on the edge of your seat.

     

    Review

    Lloyd Kaufman has described Sugar Cookies as “the only X-rated film in history to ever lose money.” Admittedly, it’s easy to see how this could’ve lost money since it’d be hard to sell a film like this. People expecting this to be some sort of 70s sex romp are going to be somewhat disappointed. While there’s plenty of nudity, there are not very many sex scenes, and they’re pretty softcore by 70s standards. Also, there are weird comedic moments sprinkled in, mostly with the Gus character, that clash with the overall film. One minute, you’re watching an erotic thriller, when suddenly a jovial song called “Big Gus, What’s The Fuss?” is playing. While it’s common to inject some humor into a thriller, it’s not really built up and comes out of nowhere. It’s almost on par with The Last House on the Left, though this isn’t quite as disturbing.

    Despite its flaws, this is still a very interesting and fairly well-made erotic thriller even factoring in its low budget. Kaufman said this was meant to be in the style of a Hitchcock thriller, and I think they succeeded. The film deals with themes like an identity crisis, infidelity, manipulation, and generally using people to satisfy your own needs. Lynn Lowry is incredible in her contrasting dual roles as the bitchy Alta and the innocent Julie. Mary Woronov is spot-on as the cold-hearted Camilla, always sporting a face that conveys how manipulative she is. George Shannon also does a great job playing a manipulative and uncaring sleazebag who you love to hate. While the film can get slow at times and has one too many montages, it’s still a breezy watch. Overall, Sugar Cookies is an interesting relic of 70s low-budget cinema that’s worth discovering.

     

    Buy Sugar Cookies from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3x4Yh1f

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  • Galaxy of Terror (1981)

    Galaxy of Terror (1981)

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    As mentioned in my review of Alien, B-movie producer Roger Corman was originally set to produce before Fox stepped up. After the film became a massive hit, Corman decided to capitalize on its success by making his own knock-off. He hired director Bruce Clark and writer Marc Siegler, who he worked with in the past on 1969’s Naked Angels. The two decided that rather than copy the Ridley Scott film wholesale, they’d make their film more psychological. Much of the crew that was hired had worked on Corman’s Star Wars knock-off, Battle Beyond the Stars. Among them was a then 26-year-old James Cameron, who quickly rose through the ranks to be Head of Production Design. What resulted was perhaps one of the most infamously sleazy Alien knock-offs ever made thanks to one particular scene. The subsequent film was released in October 1981 as Galaxy of Terror.

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    Synopsis

    After receiving a distress signal from the planet Morganthus, the spaceship Quest is sent out to investigate. Piloted by Captain Trantor (Grace Zabriskie), the ship ends up crash landing, thought thankfully the crew survives. Led by Baelon (Zalman King), the crew is sent out to investigate the source of the signal and find bodies. Eventually, they find a giant pyramid-like structure, which empath Alluma (Erin Moran) describes as feeling “empty” and “dead”. Among the crew is Alluma’s lover Cabren (Edward Albert), tech officer Dameia (Taaffe O’Connell), and the mute Quuhod (Sid Haig). As they venture further into the pyramid, the crew are being picked off one by one in gruesome ways. The survivors discover that the pyramid is taking their greatest fears and bringing them to life to kill them off. Who is responsible for this, and what horrors await our heroes as they explore this galaxy of terror?

     

    Review

    Even for its low budget, Galaxy of Terror is one of the better-made knock-offs to come out of Roger Corman. Part of this is because of the amazing effects work by Cameron, the Skotak Brothers, and Alec Gillis among others. It’s easy to compare the work Cameron did on this to what he would later do with Aliens. From the look of the barren planet to the ominous pyramid’s design, they did a lot for very little. What also makes this stand out is how, while it’s clear what they’re knocking off, they still make it original. The idea of something manifesting a person’s worst fears into reality is unique, especially for the opportunities it offers. There are so many memorable creatures and monsters, as well as inventive death scenes, it’ll satiate any gore hound’s appetite. Even the sound effects make the film wonderfully gross and disgusting.

    The film has probably one of the weirdest casts ever, including Ray Walston, Erin Moran, Zalman King, and Robert Englund. It’s so weird seeing Walston, Moran, and King in a film where people are torn apart and slashed by monsters. B-movie regulars Sid Haig and Taaffe O’Connell shine in their respective roles and easily have the most memorable death scenes. O’Connell’s is probably the most notorious, considering it involves her being, essentially, raped to death by a giant maggot. Admittedly, Clark and Siegler were ordered to include the scene, so they decided to make it as ridiculous as possible. To their credit, they succeeded, and it’s certainly a moment you won’t see in any film before or after. Admittedly, the story can get confusing, especially towards the end, but at 80 minutes, it flies by pretty quickly. Overall, Galaxy of Terror is an oddity worth tracking down for cult aficionados.

     

    Buy Galaxy of Terror on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2RAdBCz.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at no additional cost, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and make a purchase.

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    Where to watch Galaxy of Terror (1981)

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  • Pink Floyd: The Wall (1982)

    Pink Floyd: The Wall (1982)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.9.2″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false”][et_pb_fullwidth_header title=”Special Review” subhead=”This review was requested by Patreon support JacksJD. If you’d like to support me on Patreon, click the button below.” text_orientation=”center” button_one_text=”Visit Patreon” button_one_url=”https://www.patreon.com/filmnerd” background_overlay_color=”#f96854″ _builder_version=”4.9.4″ _module_preset=”default” title_level=”h2″ background_color=”#f96854″ custom_button_one=”on” button_one_bg_color=”#052d49″ custom_margin=”||||false|false” custom_padding=”25px||25px||false|false”][/et_pb_fullwidth_header][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.6.5″ _module_preset=”default”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.6.5″ _module_preset=”default”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.6.5″ _module_preset=”default”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.9.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Since its formation in 1965, Pink Floyd is considered to be one of the most successful bands of all time. Originally consisting of Syd Barrett, Nick Mason, Roger Waters, and Richard Wright, the band sold over 250 million records worldwide. As the band rose to prominence in the 70s, Waters felt somewhat alienated from his audiences under the “executive approach”. The band used this disillusionment as the basis for the 11th studio album The Wall which was released in 1979. The album was a massive hit, so Pink Floyd decided to adapt the album to film using tour footage. Alan Parker, best known for Fame and Bugsy Malone, was hired to direct, though this led to a troubled production. Parker, Waters, and animation director Gerald Scarfe clashed over the vision and who had the final say on the project. Finally, Pink Floyd: The Wall was released in mid-1982.

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    Synopsis

    The film centers around Pink (Bob Geldof), a rock star wracked with depression who has isolated himself from the world. Through a series of flashbacks, we learn that his father was killed in WWII, leaving his mother (Christine Hargreaves) alone. He also remembers his school days as a sort of prison camp run by teachers who’re unhappy with their lives. Eventually, Pink gets a wife (Eleanor David) who ends up leaving him for another man, starting the wall’s construction. Back in the present, Pink becomes increasingly self-destructive, culminating in him destroying his hotel room and trapping himself within. Now fully isolated, Pink shaves off his hair and watches TV until his manager (Bob Hoskins) finds him. During a concert, Pink starts slipping further into insanity, imagining himself as a dictator at a fascist rally. It all leads to him eventually deciding he no longer wants to be in the wall.

     

    Review

    Since its release, much has been written about Pink Floyd: The Wall, so I’m not sure what I can add. All I can say is that this is easily one of the most surreal and bizarre films I’ve ever seen. I mean that in a good way, as this film tells a great story with its odd visuals. The animations by Gerald Scarfe are a sight to behold, feeling like a cross between Ralph Bakshi and Salvador Dali. They complement the live-action sequences, which offer some of the most iconic images ever associated with Pink Floyd. The sequence where school children are on a conveyor belt leading to a meat grinder is easily the most memorable. It’s one of those films where even if you’re unsure of what’s happening, you’re never bored because of the visuals. Paired with some great songs, it’s a visual and auditory feast.

    Admittedly, it’s hard to judge this on a narrative level since there’s not much in terms of story or dialogue. This film tells its story purely through visuals with little to no dialogue, which can be good and bad. While it doesn’t spoonfeed you information, it can also be difficult to discern what’s going on unless you’re paying attention. In terms of acting, Bob Geldof works thanks to his body language and facial expressions showing his pain and anguish. There are some appearances from Bob Hoskins (Brazil) and a then-unknown Jenny Wright (Near Dark), but they don’t do much. At roughly 95 minutes in length, the film moves at a decent pace and never overstays its welcome. Even if you’re not a huge Pink Floyd fan, this is still worth a watch for its visual storytelling alone. Overall, Pink Floyd: The Wall is an impressively depressing yet beautiful musical drama.

     

    Buy Pink Floyd: The Wall from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3sdCoZW

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  • The Vampire Journals (1997)

    The Vampire Journals (1997)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]Following the production of Bloodlust: Subspecies III, Charles Band proposed to director Ted Nicolaou with an idea for a spin-off. Band suggested doing a more classical, sophisticated vampire movie that was more urban versus Subspecies being in the country. Nicolaou accepted though it would be years before the film got off the ground following Full Moon’s fallout with Paramount. Around this time, 1994’s Interview with the Vampire, based on Anne Rice’s novel, was a critical and financial hit. This might’ve inspired Band’s decision, as it’s typical of him to chase after a trend while it’s still popular. Regardless, Nicolaou was interested in making a more elegant vampire movie that would be filmed in Romania. It helped that he really enjoyed shooting there, so after an extensive series of auditions, Nicolaou shot his vampire spinoff. Finally, in February 1997, The Vampire Journals was released to a ravenous fanbase.

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    Synopsis

    In Bucharest, the vampiric Zachary (David Gunn) is hunting down fellow vampire Ash (Johnathan Morris) for a revenge quest. Back in the 1800s, Zachary killed the woman who turned him and his hunting down everyone in her bloodline. He tracks Ash down to Club Muse, a nightclub that he owns alongside its manager Iris (Starr Andreeff). One night, Zach and Ash come across an aspiring pianist named Sofia (Kirsten Cerre) and fall in love with her. Ash sends Iris to invite Sofia to the club with the promise of $1,000 for a live solo performance. Zach warns her not to go, but she does and ends up getting turned by Ash. While she’s being held hostage until agreeing to accept Ash as her master, Zach infiltrates the club to rescue her. But will it be too late to save her before Ash fully turns her into one of his brides?

     

    Review

    While not the most original vampire film, The Vampire Journals is easily one of Full Moon’s most well-made movies. Like the Subspecies films, Ted Nicolaou takes full advantage of filming in Bucharest and chooses some fantastic locations. Not only do they use the historic architecture, but the wintertime conditions help the film stand out. Nicolaou makes great use of shadows and harsh lighting to establish mood much as he did in previous films. Adding to the film’s mood is the haunting score by Richard Kosinski, evoking the same emotions as his Subspecies score. Long-time collaborator Adolfo Bartoli uses some creative angles and lighting to help accentuate the film’s more gothic nature. In a way, the style and look are very similar to the Hammer Films of the 1960s and 1970s. Adding to the old school feel is the extensive use of fog and very dim lighting, which are excellent.

    Though the cast is comprised mostly of unknowns and character actors, they all do a surprisingly great job. David Gunn makes for a solid, moody lead, though his voiceovers can get somewhat grating, sounding super emotional and archaic. It reminds me of Harrison Ford’s voiceovers in Blade Runner, but at least here Gunn puts some emotion in it. Kirsten Cerre, on top of being adorable, brings some emotional weight with her performance and works well off of Gunn. However, it’s Johnathan Morris’ Ash who stands out as the malevolent vampire, adding some class and an element of tragedy. Even though it’s billed as a Subspecies spinoff, there’s only a one-line mention of Radu and Transylvania. In a way, this works in the film’s favor in that you can enjoy it as a standalone vampire film. Overall, The Vampire Journals is a well-made and solidly entertaining gothic horror film.

     

    Buy The Vampire Journals from

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Bloodsucking Freaks (1976)

    Bloodsucking Freaks (1976)

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    New York-based filmmaker Joel M. Reed started in the adult industry directing films like Career Bed and Sex by Advertisement. Going into the 70s, he directed Wit’s End, which was finished in 1971 but not released until 1975. He made his transition into horror with 1975’s Blood Bath, which featured early appearances from Doris Roberts and P.J. Soles. Around this time, he was working on a film about a rock star haunted by a groupie’s ghost. Unfortunately, he couldn’t get that off the ground, so he instead made a horror comedy that incorporated S&M and ballet. Initially titled Sardu, Master of the Screaming Virgins, the film was released in 1976 as The Incredible Torture Show. Years later, Troma acquired the film and re-released it, but got in trouble after releasing it uncut with an R-rating. Having become the subject of controversy, the film gained a cult reputation as Bloodsucking Freaks.

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    Synopsis

    Sardu (Seamus O’Brien) runs an off-Broadway show called “Theatre of the Macabre” with his diminutive assistant Ralphus (Luis De Jesus). Their show mainly consists of them brutally torturing and killing various naked women they get through the white slave trade. During a show, theatre critic Creasy Silo (Alan Dellay) denounces the show and refuses to even give a negative review. As revenge, Sardu has Ralphus and one of his girls kidnap Creasy to torture him for a positive review. To try and elevate the show, Sardu also sets his sights on famed ballerina Natasha Di Natalie (Viju Krem). When she refuses to participate, Sardu forces her to watch as they dismember and kill various women in gruesome ways. Meanwhile, her football-player boyfriend Tom Maverick (Niles McMaster) enlists Detective John Tucci (Dan Fauci) to help find her. What horrors await our heroes as they venture into Sardu’s Theatre of the Macabre?

     

    Review

    Bloodsucking Freaks has been discussed to death since its release, so there’s not much that hasn’t already been said. It’s vile, it’s graphic, it’s sleazy, it’s misogynistic, it’s ridiculous, it’s campy, it’s juvenile, and other adjectives. Since much more graphic films have been made in later years, this one is fairly tame by comparison. The gore in this film is about on par with a Herschel Gordon Lewis movie, including the bright red blood. That being said, some sequences are still pretty gruesome even by today’s standards, though most of them are implied. One involves a deranged doctor pulling a woman’s teeth out and drilling a hole in her head to drink from. If nothing else, this film has some creative ways by which they dispatch their victims, which keeps things somewhat original. It’s definitely not for the squeamish, but there’s far worse out there.

    This is a somewhat impossible film to review since the filmmakers clearly weren’t going for some sort of artistic vision. They clearly wanted to make a film that featured naked women being tortured and maimed in gratuitous ways. That said, I will say that the film has an almost hypnotic quality to it, like you can’t look away. Also, the film benefits from being filmed in 1970s New York, where every street corner had grime and grit. Acting-wise, it runs the gambit from being pretty bad to somewhat decent, though Seamus O’Brien is easily the best actor. It’s a shame he was killed shortly after making this film because he could’ve been a great character actor. In fact, many of the people involved have died over the years, which adds to its overall mystique. Overall, Bloodsucking Freaks isn’t for everyone, but it’s an interesting footnote in exploitation cinema.

     

    Buy Bloodsucking Freaks from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3a8agBo

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  • Postal (2007)

    Postal (2007)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false”][et_pb_fullwidth_header title=”Special Review” subhead=”This review was requested by Discord user Rogue, Internet Man. If you’d like to join the server or subscribe to Rogue’s YouTube channel, click the buttons below.” text_orientation=”center” button_one_text=”Visit Discord” button_one_url=”https://discord.gg/sKBSX7u” button_two_text=”Rogue on YouTube” button_two_url=”https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCphx-byfxLP4d4OtOHeMEpA” _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default” background_enable_color=”off” use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#8300e9″ background_color_gradient_end=”#e02b20″ custom_button_one=”on” button_one_bg_color=”#8300E9″ custom_button_two=”on” button_two_bg_color=”#E02B20″ custom_margin=”||||false|false” custom_padding=”25px||25px||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ title_level=”h2″ sticky_enabled=”0″][/et_pb_fullwidth_header][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.6.5″ _module_preset=”default”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.6.5″ _module_preset=”default”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.6.5″ _module_preset=”default”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default”]

    German filmmaker Uwe Boll is considered to be one of the worst directors in the past few decades. After making a splash with Blackwoods and Heart of America in 2002, Boll started making movies based on video games. His first video game film was 2003’s House of the Dead, which is considered one of the worst films ever. Since then, he’s gone on to make movies based on Alone in the Dark, Bloodrayne, and Dungeon Siege. Each of the films received generally negative reviews and lost money at the box office, but he still found work. According to Boll, he was approached with doing an adaptation of the controversial game Postal, and he was intrigued. He got the backing of developer Running With Scissors and amassed a budget of $15 million to produce the film. Originally set for a 2007 release, Postal got a very limited release in May 2008.

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    Synopsis

    Life is tough for The Postal Dude (Zach Ward), after being mocked at an interview, denied welfare, and cheated on. Wanting to move out of town, he teams up with his Uncle Dave (Dave Foley), who’s organized a religious cult. Turns out Uncle Dave owes tons of money to the IRS, so he and Postal Dude devise a plan. There are 2,000 Krotchy Dolls, which are considered extremely rare, being sold at a local amusement part called Little Germany. Unbeknownst to them, the Taliban are also after the dolls as they plan to put Bird Flu vials in them. Postal Dude, Uncle Dave, and his right-hand man Richie (Chris Coppola) steal the dolls after a shootout breaks out. However, Richie kills Uncle Dave as he plans to use the dolls to bring about the end of the world. Also, Verne Troyer, Osama Bin Laden, and George W. Bush are there.

     

    Review

    Going into this, I had only seen clips of Boll’s movies and heard about how bad his films were. Admittedly, the only one of his films I had seen before this was 2009’s Rampage, which I thought was alright. As far as Postal goes, it’s technically not a good movie, but it’s an interesting one to put it lightly. In terms of Uwe Boll’s direction, it’s pretty flat, with almost every scene having an unusually orangish tint to it. Also, there are so many scenes where the camera doesn’t stay still that it becomes irritating. Acting-wise, it’s clear that everyone knew what kind of movie they were in and decided to just go for it. Zach Ward makes for a decent lead, and Dave Foley has some funny moments, though Chris Coppola can get obnoxious. Also, I feel like Verne Troyer probably regretted doing The Love Guru more than this.

    Further adding to how not good this film is, several subplots go absolutely nowhere and are dropped almost immediately. I had to exclude the vast majority of them from this review because of how utterly pointless they were. Boll clearly meant for this to be some sort of sociopolitical satire, but he’s as subtle as an atomic bomb. However, given Boll’s reputation and his constant criticisms at the time, it’s understandable why he was so vitriolic. This was never meant to be a good movie, but instead an incredibly offensive, politically incorrect, terrible movie. In many ways, he succeeded, and I even found myself laughing at just how absurd the humor was. So while I can’t call this some misunderstood masterpiece, I can commend Boll for succeeding at what he tried doing. Overall, Postal is pretty awful, but then again, maybe that’s the point or something like that.

     

    Buy Postal from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3g19l9C

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