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  • Demented Death Farm Massacre (1972)

    Demented Death Farm Massacre (1972)

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    From the late 1960s to the mid-1970s, Donn Davison made a name for himself in the exploitation scene. After getting his start working on various roadshows, he decided to pursue filmmaking after receiving encouragement from Ron Ormond. In 1968, Davison released Moonshiner’s Woman, which he wrote, produced, directed, and starred in, to great success. Davison followed this up with the 1971 hicksploitation film Shantytown Honeymoon, which was rereleased as Honey Britches in 1972. Afterward, Davison started doing promotions for Film Ventures International, an independent company founded in 1968 that went bankrupt in 1985. Years later, exploitation filmmaker Fred Olen Ray acquired the rights to the film and inserted new footage of John Carradine. The new scenes had Carradine as “The Judge of Hell,” who narrates throughout the film as it goes on. Ray sold the movie to Troma, who released it as Demented Death Farm Massacre in 1986.

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    Synopsis

    Jewel thieves Phillip (Jim Peck), Kirk (Michael Battlesmith), Karen (Trudy Moore), and Suzanne (Pepper Thurston) are on the run. While driving through the remote Carolinas, their Jeep runs out of gas, so they ditch it and find shelter. They come across local moonshiner Horlon P. Craven (George Ellis) and his young wife Reba Sue (Ashley Brooks). It’s not long until the thieves take advantage of their hospitality, with Kirk moving in on Horlon’s wife. During a scuffle, Reba Sue accidentally kills Karen, which leads to the other thieves threatening Horlon. Phillip and Kirk plan on taking over Horlon’s moonshine business and a supposed fortune that he has hidden away. Soon, the temptations of the diamonds, moonshine, and Reba Sue lead to the thieves’ downfall at Horlon’s hands. Who will survive and strike it rich from this demented death farm massacre? No one but The Judge of Hell (John Carradine) knows.

     

    Review

    Admittedly, Demented Death Farm Massacre is a movie whose backstory is more interesting than the movie itself. Hell, reading through a list of the film’s alternative titles is funnier than any of the gags in the movie. In addition to Shantytown Honeymoon and Honey Britches, there’s also Hillbilly Hooker, Honey Pie, and Little Whorehouse on the Prairie. That last title makes me wonder if the makers of Little House on the Prairie tried suing the filmmakers. Aside from the backstory and the many alternative titles, this is a barely watchable slice of 1970s exploitation trash. Granted, you shouldn’t go into a movie like this expecting something like The Godfather, but this one is rough. The story is paper-thin, none of the characters are likable, and it’s relatively light on the exploitation. Sure, there’s some blood and scantily clad women, but it’s not nearly as sleazy as its title suggests.

    It says a lot about the acting when John Carradine, who only has five minutes of screen time, performs best. Granted, he looks confused and was only added after the fact, but he’s at least committed to the material. Everyone else is loud, obnoxious, scummy, or stupid, with everyone mugging for the camera, especially Ashley Brooks. Admittedly, George Ellis is mildly entertaining as the Bible-thumping moonshiner who loves to call women “whores” and “tramps.” Jim Peck tries adding a bit of class with his performance as ringleader Phillip, but even he can’t save it. Much of the film consists of boring talking scenes, characters stumbling around, or poorly-staged fights. There are a few unintentionally funny moments at an hour and twenty-five minutes, but most of it is a slog. Overall, Demented Death Farm Massacre might be worth a watch if you’re curious, but it’s best left forgotten.

     

    Buy Demented Death Farm Massacre from Amazon: https://amzn.to/43RhTph.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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    Where to watch Demented Death Farm Massacre (1972)

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  • Honor Killing (2018)

    Honor Killing (2018)

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    An “honor killing” refers to someone killed for a perceived dishonor against a family, either an outsider or a member. Men usually commit these acts against women, which is common in Middle Eastern countries like Pakistan and India. These are often triggered by refusing an arranged marriage, wanting a divorce, being a rape victim, or even homosexuality. While the act is generally frowned upon in most parts of the world, honor killings are heralded in certain countries. Mercedes the Muse, the actress/c0-writer of Rose and Viktor: No Mercy, decided to tackle this subject. This film would be her directorial debut, taking inspiration from Thriller: A Cruel Picture and I Spit on Your Grave. She intended to empower women and speak on a controversial subject with the typical sleaze found in grindhouse movies. In early 2018, Troma released Mercedes’ directorial debut, Honor Killing.

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    Synopsis

    While walking home from the library, a young woman (Mercedes the Muse) is assaulted and raped by some gang members. Upon returning home, she asks her mother (Virginia Puccio) for help but is ostracized for bringing shame to the family. Her father (Sam Lopez) shoots her in the eye and leaves her for dead, only for her to reawaken. After recovering, the woman hires bounty hunter Viktor (Jim Schumacher) to train her to use weapons and hurt people. With her training, she kills the men who raped her and plans on getting revenge against her father. She also saves a prostitute (Vivi Marie), a stripper (Erin Shimokawa), and a biker babe (Soma Stardust) from abusive men. She even runs into a cult led by a deranged man (Cash Hann) and rescues the women under his influence. Soon, her father will get his comeuppance for his honor killing!

     

    Review

    Honor Killing is a narrative mess of a film, but it has ambition and a message to tell. While it does borrow from several other rape-revenge films, it helps that it’s based on something happening in real life. The most significant comparison would be Thriller: A Cruel Picture, from the one-eyed lead to them hunting their father. But while Mercedes tries her best, the movie doesn’t entirely work, primarily due to the poor cinematography and inconsistent acting. So many scenes are shot so close, and the camera shakes so much that it’s hard to tell what’s happening. It makes sense for the more intense moments, but even the ordinary scenes are like this, and it’s disorientating. Most of the acting is flat, with actors underacting and saying their lines like they’re reading off cue cards. Even Mercedes, despite her efforts, doesn’t sound convincing when she’s trying to be tough.

    Much like Rose & Viktor, most of this film consists of random vignettes that don’t necessarily tie together. It’s cool to see our hero save a prostitute from an abusive pimp, but it doesn’t advance the story. Also, aside from the rape that sets everything in motion, most of the violence is pretty tame, which is surprising. I’m not saying a rape-revenge film needs to be super gory, but this is a lot lighter than you’d expect. Part of the appeal of these films is seeing rapists and abusers getting punished in satisfyingly brutal ways. There are a few decent kills, but don’t expect anything like the castration from I Spit on Your Grave. The movie feels padded at just barely over an hour, so this might’ve worked better as a short film. Overall, Honor Killing certainly tries, but it doesn’t quite hit the mark. 

     

    Buy Honor Killing from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3q7ivs0.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Deadly Daphne’s Revenge (1987)

    Deadly Daphne’s Revenge (1987)

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    In its nearly 50-year history, Troma has become infamous for many things, including mismarketing some of its films. For instance, they tried selling Combat Shock as an all-out action film when it’s more of a character study. There was also The Dead Come Home, which they sold as a horror-comedy called Dead Dudes in the House. Other times, they’ll retitle a film, such as You Better Watch Out being retitled as Christmas Evil. Thankfully, Troma never recuts or reedits the films, but the mismarketing can lead to confusion. Such is the case with The Hunting Season, a rape-revenge film from Orange County by writer/director/star Richard Gardner. While the movie was initially released around 1979-1981, Troma acquired the rights and released it on VHS in 1987. Since then, the film has been rereleased on DVD and Blu-ray with the title Deadly Daphne’s Revenge.

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    Synopsis

    Charlie Johnson (Anthony Holt) and his friends Steve (Richard Gardner), Bruce, and Bobo are taking a weekend RV trip. Along the way, they pick up seventeen-year-old hitchhiker Cindy (Laurie Tait Partridge), who’s immediately put off by Charlie’s bigotry. She confides in Steve and even makes love to him, but Charlie and Bobo rape her after he leaves. Steve confronts Charlie the following day while Cindy runs off to try and press charges against Charlie. While her lawyer Starke can help her, Cindy is reluctant because he insists they prosecute all four men, including Steve. Charlie and Bobo get arrested, and while they’re eventually let out, the story spreads like wildfire across town. Steve loses his high school coaching job, Bruce kills himself over the guilt, and Cindy is second-guessing her decision. Little do they know that a woman from Charlie’s past named Daphne is seeking her deadly revenge!

     

    Review

    Mismarketing aside, Deadly Daphne’s Revenge is one of the weirdest rape-revenge movies I’ve ever seen. Rather than going the I Spit on Your Grave route of the attackers getting killed, this becomes a legal drama. While it’s unique, you wouldn’t expect a sleazy exploitation movie to turn into The Accused years before that came out. It’s interesting to see this obscure exploitation film tackle issues of double standards and victim blaming in a nuanced way. Unfortunately, whatever points the filmmakers tried to make are outdone by the acting, which ranges from mediocre to ridiculously over-the-top. Anthony Holt, in particular, is so stereotypically hateful that it comes off as one-note, which clashes with the serious tone. Laurie Tait Partridge is decent, and it’s easy to root for her, but she doesn’t leave much of an impression. Also, the titular Daphne gets her revenge but doesn’t appear until the last 10 minutes.

    The rest of the cast is largely forgettable, although a pre-Fresh Prince of Bel-Air James Avery has a minor role. Aside from that, I’ve touched on just about everything there is to say about this movie. While the rape scene is appropriately disturbing, the revenge aspect is very unsatisfying and lacks the punch of similar films. There’s nothing on par with a crossbow-wielding Linda Blair in Savage Streets or architect-turned-vigilante Charles Bronson in Death Wish. Sure, the filmmakers handled the subject matter more objectively, which is commendable, but it could’ve been better. I can only imagine Troma fans’ disappointment when they popped this in the VCRs back in the day. It doesn’t help that they were probably confused about why the lead woman wasn’t named Daphne like the title. Overall, Deadly Daphne’s Revenge is a film whose title is more interesting than the actual movie.

     

    Buy Deadly Daphne’s Revenge from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3IC39lV.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Robot Holocaust (1987)

    Robot Holocaust (1987)

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    As stated in previous reviews, Charles Band formed Wizard Video after being forced out of Meda (later Media) Home Entertainment. Band released several oddball exploitation films through this label, including ZombieThe Driller Killer, and The Boogeyman. In addition to acquiring the distribution rights for foreign cinema, Band made some in-house productions, including compilations and direct-to-video movies. Except for The Best of Sex and Violence and Psychos In Love, most of these were pretty dreadful. Enter Tim Kincaid, the New York-based adult filmmaker who transitioned to mainstream movies with Bad Girls Dormitory. Kincaid and Band made a deal where Tim would produce several low-budget genre films for Wizard Video, starting with Breeders. His next film for Band became arguably his most infamous for appearing on the second season of Mystery Science Theater 3000. That movie would be the 1987 post-apocalyptic sci-fi film Robot Holocaust.

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    Synopsis

    Society has all but collapsed after a robot revolution that took place in the far future of 2033. The remaining humans are either slaves to the robots and their leader, The Dark One, or nomads roaming the wasteland. The Dark One is an advanced computer aided by the human Valaria (Angelika Jager) and the robot Torque (Rick Gianasi). A scientist named Jorn (Michael Downend) is imprisoned since he’s the only one who can stop The Dark One. His daughter Deeja (Nadine Hart) searches for someone to help rescue him and finds a drifter named Neo (Norris Culf). With his robot sidekick Kylton (Joel Van Ornsteiner), Neo agrees to help and gathers other drifters to aid them. With humanity’s fate at stake, our heroes must trek across the New York ruins to stop The Dark One. It’s man versus machine as the two sides clash in this robot holocaust!

     

    Review

    Much like his 1986 movie Breeders, Robot Holocaust sounds like it’ll be a fun watch, but it’s largely uninteresting. Granted, this one is less painful of an experience, but that’s saying little considering what we’re comparing. The biggest problem with this film is that most of it is either exposition dumps or characters just walking. What makes matters worse is that the characters could be more memorable, and the acting could be more exciting, though there are exceptions. On top of being gorgeous, Angelika Jager is the film’s highlight, as she’s chewing up all the scenery. Like before, Ed French’s effects work is decent, given the limited resources he had to work with. While some monsters look like cheap hand-puppets, the robots are pretty cool, especially Torque’s design. That explains why the Blu-Ray cover features him prominently despite not being the central villain.

    Honestly, this movie is hard to review because there’s little to say about it, and I’ve covered almost everything. Another strike against the film is the constant narration explaining everything we see as if we’re blind. It makes Harrison Ford’s narration in Blade Runner sound profound by comparison, and that was a great movie. The film reuses music from other Charles Band productions like Laserblast, which is fitting since it was also on MST3K. I’d almost prefer watching that movie instead since it at least had stop-motion aliens, explosions, and Eddie Deezen. While it does get slightly more exciting in the last 20 minutes, it’s hardly worth the first 50. The movie clocks in at roughly 80 minutes and feels like the longest 80 minutes imaginable. Overall, Robot Holocaust is less “so bad it’s good” but more “so boring it’s bad.”

     

    Buy Robot Holocaust from Amazon: https://amzn.to/43w5ZR9.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Subspecies V: Blood Rise (2023)

    Subspecies V: Blood Rise (2023)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]After the disappointing response to Subspecies IV: Bloodstorm, the series was put on hiatus for the next decade. As new franchises like KilljoyThe Gingerdead Man, and Evil Bong were introduced, hopes for Radu’s return seemed lost. Over the years, writer/director Ted Nicolaou and actors Anders Hove and Denice Duff wanted to return to the series. Nicolaou had even written a script for a potential new installment should Full Moon acquire the budget needed. In 2019, Charles Band announced that a fifth Subspecies film was in production as part of his “Deadly 10” initiative. Filming was supposed to start in July 2020 in Croatia, but the COVID-19 pandemic put the project on hold. The movie was shot over 18 days in Serbia in September 2022 before premiering at the Horrorhound Convention in March. After 25 years, Subspecies V: Blood Rise hit Alamo Drafthouse theaters in May 2023.

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    Synopsis

    During the Crusades, a knight rescues a vampire baby before it’s offered up as a sacrifice by its mother. After being defanged, the child is raised to serve the church and slay monsters, not knowing his origin. The vampire-turned-knight Radu (Anders Hove), accompanied by the monk Marius (Petar Arsic), infiltrates the castle of Prince Vladislas (Kevin Spirtas). After driving away the vampires, the two find Helena (Denice Duff), the mother of Vladislas’ child Stefan (Jakov Marjanovic). Despite Marius ‘ objections, Radu vows to protect them, so they go their separate ways, not knowing Helena is a vampire. She turns Radu and leaves with Vladislas and the Bloodstone, though Radu is found by his mother, Circe (Yulia Graut). After Circe trains him, Radu takes siblings Ariel (Stasa Nikolic) and Ash (Marko Filipovic) as his fledglings. Despite growing more powerful, Radu is still haunted by visions of his love, Helena.

     

    Review

    Let’s be frank; Full Moon Features has never been as good as it was in the early 1990s. Sure, they had some movies in the 2000s that were decent, but none were on par with their earlier work. While that era of Full Moon likely won’t return, Subspecies V: Blood Rise is the closest we’ll come to that. Using the locations and Vladimir Ilic’s excellent cinematography, Nicolaou recaptured the classic goth look of the earlier installments. While it would’ve been great for them to shoot in Romania like before, Serbia is a great stand-in. The sets look great, and the many landscape shots of the Serbian countryside add to the ambiance. The costumes and makeup effects look fantastic, and the Serbian crew deserves all the credit they get. Full Moon went above and beyond to make this the best sequel possible, and they more than succeeded.

    In addition to looking good, the film has some of the best performances I’ve seen in a Full Moon movie. Anders Hove is just as sinister as before, but he also comes off as somewhat sympathetic and pulls it off. Denice Duff is excellent as Helena, who looks great for her age and succeeds at being seductive and manipulative. The dynamic she and Hove have is a complete reversal of their relationship in the previous films, and it works. While he’s not in the movie much, Kevin Spirtas is having fun as the sinister Prince Vladislas. Stasa Nikolic and Marko Filipovic are great additions to the cast, and their backstory is just as tragic as Radu’s. While the film has plenty of blood and nudity, it takes itself more seriously, which might disappoint some fans. Otherwise, Subspecies V: Blood Rise is easily Full Moon’s best film in decades!

     

    Buy Subspecies V: Blood Rise from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3UvTRxO.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Netherworld (1992)

    Netherworld (1992)

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    After directing the original Puppet Master in 1989, David Schmoeller was experiencing a high point in his career. In 1991, Schmoeller helmed The Arrival, his first non-Charles Band production since 1982’s The Seduction nearly killed his career. Around this time, Schmoeller was attached to numerous projects that never got made for one reason or another. He was initially supposed to direct Whispers & Shadows, a sexual thriller for Full Moon, with David Decoteau producing. Band ultimately shelved the project because it was so far removed from what Full Moon was known for. Instead, Band assigned Schmoeller to a film that Ted Nicolaou was supposed to direct before helming Subspecies. The movie was shot in New Orleans with Adolfo Bartoli as the cinematographer and Mark Shostrom handling the effects. While initially planned for a January 1992 release, David Schmoeller’s Netherworld hit video store shelves that February.

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    Synopsis

    After his father’s death, Corey Thorton (Michael Bendetti) inherited his estate in Louisiana, though he never really knew him. Cory meets his father’s lawyer, Beauregard Yates, Esq. (Robert Burr), and his housekeeper Mrs. Palmer (Anjanette Comer). He also runs into Mrs. Palmer’s daughter Diane (Holly Floria), who’s overly flirty with Cory despite being younger. While at the estate, Cory is drawn to a local brother run by Mary Magdalene (Alex Datcher). He’s seduced by Delores (Denise Gentile), a prostitute who practices voodoo and is part of a cult of bird people. Cory discovers that his late father, Noah (Robert Sampson), has been working with Delores to bring him back to life. However, the ritual involves removing Cory’s soul and putting his father’s soul in his body. With Diane trying to help him, will Cory overcome Delores’ seductive way, or will he end up in the Netherworld?

     

    Review

    Out of Full Moon’s early catalog, Netherworld has plenty going for it, but not all of it gels together. It’s one of the more story-driven movies from Full Moon, which is ambitious but feels unfocused. Sometimes, it’s hard to follow what’s happening, and while I enjoy a slow burn, it doesn’t build up to anything. For instance, the ghostly flying hand featured on the poster barely plays a role in the movie. Acting-wise, everyone does a fine enough job, but nobody stands out in a good or bad way. Michael Bendetti comes off as a wet blanket, and Holly Floria is the least-convincing pre-teen I’ve ever seen. Denise Gentile and Alex Datcher do their best with the material and easily give the film’s best performances. The worst performance would be Holly Butler as a Marilyn Monroe-inspired prostitute with a cheap blonde wig and ill-fitting voice.

    Since this is a David Schmoeller movie, the film looks great and has excellent cinematography courtesy of Adolfo Bartoli. Mark Shostrom of From Beyond and Evil Dead II fame’s effects are solid, but they’re very minimal. Aside from one petrified corpse, the flying hand, and some creepy masks, there’s not much to see. The score, composed by Bon Jovi’s keyboard player, David Bryan, is probably the most noteworthy thing about the film. Along with some songs from Edgar Winter, the music elevates the film and adds an appropriately moody atmosphere. At under ninety minutes, parts of the film drag quite a bit, making it feel longer than it is. Full Moon completionists will undoubtedly be interested, but casual viewers will likely be bored by the end. Overall, Netherworld isn’t one of the best early Full Moon movies, but at least it’s not for lack of trying.

     

    Buy Netherworld from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3Mpe3Od.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Curse of the Cannibal Confederates (1982)

    Curse of the Cannibal Confederates (1982)

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    After dropping out of the University of Maryland in 1975, Tony Malanowski pursued a career in independent filmmaking. He started Little Warsaw Productions and made his first feature film, Night of Horror, in 1981. Before directing, Malanowski had a small part in Don Dohler’s 1978 sci-fi horror film The Alien Factor. He later was an associate producer and a second unit director on Dohler’s 1982 follow-up Nightbeast. Malanowski decided to remake his 1981 film that same year but with some extra gore, much like Dohler’s follow-up. Most of the cast and crew from Night of Horror returned for this pseudo-remake, including Steve Sandkuhler and Rebecca Bach. Malanowski’s film was released in 1982 as The Curse of the Screaming Dead before Troma acquired the rights decades later. They retitled the movie Curse of the Cannibal Confederates for their 2004 Toxie’s Triple Terror DVD.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”20″ bar_bg_color=”#E02B20″ _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]

    Synopsis

    Mel (Christopher Gummer), Wyatt (Steve Sandkuhler), and Bill (Jim Ball) are driving on a hunting trip in the southern US. They’re accompanied by their girlfriends Sarah (Rebecca Bach), Lin (Judy Dixon), and Blind Kiyomi (Mimi Ishikawa). While making a stop, Blind Kiyomi hears some strange noises and wants Mel to investigate, leading him toward a graveyard. He finds several items left behind by former Confederate soldiers and takes a diary from one of them. The group sets up camp at night when suddenly several Confederate soldiers rise from the grave as zombies. As the group fights off the Confederate zombies, they run into Deputy Franklin (Bumb Roberts) and Captain Fritz (Richard Ruxton). Neither of the police officers believes their story, but soon the Confederates catch up to them and eat them. Why are these Confederate zombies attacking, and who will survive the Curse of the Cannibal Confederates?

     

    Review

    Curse of the Cannibal Confederates is a brutal movie for me to review because there isn’t much to discuss. I make no exaggerations when I say that this is one of the most boring movies I’ve ever seen. Even Lloyd Kaufman has called this one of the five worst films in the Troma library, which is saying something. I’m not sure what the other four are, though I bet Igor and The Lunatics is one of them. Part of what makes this film so dull is that many shots last longer than they should. Moments like these show how the filmmakers are trying to reach the 90-minute mark. It doesn’t help that there’s no backing music or what sounds like a broken Casio keyboard droning endlessly. The acting is what you’d expect from this kind of movie: either flat or trying too hard to emote.

    This is also a hard movie to watch, either due to the film being overexposed or needing more light. Plus, the audio mixing is so bad that it’s often hard to understand what certain characters are saying. The zombies are pretty laughable; most have tons of white face paint plastered on and wear contemporary clothes. The gore effects aren’t the best, but they’re about on par with a low-budget horror film. Honestly, you could only get some enjoyment from this movie if you had some friends to suffer with. I understand that Night of Horror is even worse, but I don’t want to find out for myself. I agree with Lloyd that this is one of Troma’s worst movies, though I’m not sure why he’d release it. Overall, Curse of the Cannibal Confederates makes Redneck Zombies look like Night of the Living Dead by comparison.

     

    Buy Curse of the Cannibal Confederates from Amazon: https://amzn.to/42HeAjD.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 (2023)

    Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 (2023)

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    On a $200 million budget, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 was a massive hit, grossing over $863 million worldwide. Like its predecessor, the film also garnered many positive reviews, earning an 85% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. While writer/director James Gunn was initially reluctant about returning, he announced his return in April 2017. Gunn had been working on the initial draft and getting the original cast back when he was fired in 2018. Marvel/Disney removed Gunn after some old tweets were dug up, and an independent campaign was started supporting Gunn. Shortly after Warner Bros. announced Gunn would direct The Suicide Squad, Marvel/Disney rehired Gunn, and preproduction began in 2021. The movie was shot in Atlanta’s Trilith Studios from November 2021 to May 2022 on a $250 million budget. After premiering in April 2023, Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 was released worldwide the following May.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”85″ bar_bg_color=”#7CDA24″ _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]

    Synopsis

    After getting hit by a massive laser blast, Rocket Racoon (Bradley Cooper) is barely clinging to life. Nebula (Karen Gillan) determines that whoever made Rocket the way he has had a killswitch installed that prevents treatment. She traces the origins of the killswitch to Orgocorp, an intergalactic company headed by The High Evolutionary (Chukwudi Iwuji). With help from the Ravagers and Gamora (Zoe Saldana), the Guardians infiltrate Orgocorp’s headquarters, the Orgoscope, to find the override. During the adventure, a dying Rocket relives his past: being experimented on, seeing his friends killed, and making his escape. While searching for the killswitch override, the Guardians travel to Counter-Earth, a planet built by the High Evolutionary. With their friend’s life in jeopardy, it’s up to the Guardians to save Rocket’s life and stop the High Evolutionary. It’s the Guardians’ farewell tour, and they plan on going out with a bang!

     

    Review

    Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 stumbles slightly for being the final installment, but it also succeeds in several ways. For one, it’s great that we learn more about Rocket’s tragic backstory and how it plays into the film’s present. Also, like the previous installments, the motivation is deeply personal, in this case, saving a dear friend. Once again, James Gunn’s writing and directing are on-point, mixing snappy quips with heartfelt, dramatic moments, all with vibrant colors. The returning cast delivers solid performances, with Pom Klementieff, Karen Gillan, Dave Bautista, and Zoe Saldana standing out. Chukwudi Iwuji is phenomenal as the High Evolutionary, playing a cold, calculating megalomaniac that’s easy to hate. Admittedly, he starts losing his menace whenever he screams and shouts in an over-the-top fashion that makes him less threatening. Also, William Poulter isn’t terrible as Adam Warlock, but he feels wasted.

    Sadly, this movie lacks the unique charm of the first two, especially with the “adventure comedy set in space” trope. Months prior, we had Thor: Love and Thunder and Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania, both adventure comedies in space. What made the first film so special back in 2014 has been done to death at this point. That said, what makes this better than those is that this film does a better job of balancing the tone. This film knows when to be funny and when to hold off on jokes, so an emotional scene plays out. This one ends with big action sequences like other Marvel movies, but they feel more personal and less hollow. At two and a half hours, parts of the film feel bloated, which could’ve been trimmed with more editing. Overall, Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 has some issues, but it’s a satisfying-enough finale.

    [/et_pb_text][et_pb_code _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]Buy Your Tickets on Sale to watch “Guardians of the Galaxy” playing in theaters starting May 3rd![/et_pb_code][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Assault of the Killer Bimbos (1988)

    Assault of the Killer Bimbos (1988)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]At the 1987 Cannes Film Festival, Charles Band launched a pre-sales campaign for the yet-to-be-filmed Assault of the Killer Bimbos. The title was a hit, so Band hired Gorman Bechard of Psychos in Love and Galactic Gigolo fame to direct. Unfortunately, Bechard’s initial cut was deemed so bad that Band decided to redo the movie entirely. Charlie had David DeCoteau salvage the project, so he hired Anita Rosenberg and Patti Astor to write and direct. Rosenberg and Astor turned in their script, but Empire wasn’t confident, so they had Ted Nicolaou do an extensive rewrite. With a budget of $250,000, this would be Rosenberg’s first feature film, though she was almost replaced during filming. When Empire Pictures got cold feet, they wanted Nicolaou to step in, but he believed in Rosenberg and declined. Ultimately, Anita Rosenberg’s Assault of the Killer Bimbos had a small theatrical run in May 1988.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”70″ bar_bg_color=”#EDF000″ _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.2″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    Lulu (Elizabeth Kaitan) is a waitress at a go-go club who aspires to be a dancer. With encouragement from her friend, go-go dancer Peaches (Christina Whitaker), Lulu hits the stage but gets booed off. To make matters worse, a sleazy gangster named Big Vinnie (Mike Muscat) kills their boss and frames them for it. The girls decide to flee to Mexico to escape law enforcement until they figure out what to do next. Along the way, they pick up a diner waitress, Darlene (Tammara Souza), who agrees to help them. The girls get into car chases with cops, run into three stoner surfers, and wind up at a fleabag motel. While holding up at the motel, the girls run into Vinnie, who’s there with his girlfriend Poodles (Patti Astor). Vinnie thinks he’s in the clear until he encounters the Assault of the Killer Bimbos!

     

    Review

    Despite how sleazy the title sounds, Assault of the Killer Bimbos is light-hearted and less exploitative than expected. Sure, there is some nudity, but for the most part, the female leads keep all their clothes on. Also, contrary to the title, the “bimbos” aren’t killers, nor do they go on an assault. Even if the title doesn’t accurately represent the film, it seems fitting for how wacky and silly it is. B-movie staple Elizabeth Kaitan is as adorable as ever and has fantastic chemistry with Christina Whitaker. Tammara Souza is an excellent addition to the group, though she doesn’t fit what most would call a “bimbo.” It’s also worth noting that this features a relatively-unknown Nick Cassavetes as a stoner/surfer who becomes Kaitan’s love interest. He’s not bad, but I highly doubt the director of The Notebook talks about this movie much.

    If the plot sounds familiar, that’s probably because it resembles Ridley Scott’s 1991 film Thema & Louise. Supposedly, the producers of Assault tried suing the makers of Thelma & Louise but withdrew due to legal costs. I’m not saying Scott or Callie Khouri intentionally ripped this off, but it’s a strange coincidence. As for this movie, it’s an interestingly feminist-centric road adventure with some light comedy and various hijinks. Admittedly, several of the jokes don’t land, but a few chuckle-worthy moments are sprinkled in. The movie tends to slow down whenever the stoner surfers are introduced, as they feel out of place. At 85 minutes, the film moves briskly, though a few slow spots could’ve been trimmed. Overall, Assault of the Killer Bimbos might not be what you expect, but it’s a decent watch. Sadly, the same can’t be said for its sister film, but that’s for another day.

     

    Buy Assault of the Killer Bimbos from Amazon: https://amzn.to/4ffBKEI.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Rose and Viktor: No Mercy (2017)

    Rose and Viktor: No Mercy (2017)

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    Originally from the California Salinas Valley, a filmmaker known only as “Moses” started a small studio called The Underground Front. With a strong sense of anti-establishment and a lack of good taste, the studio produces shorts, feature films, and comics. In 2008, Moses directed his first film, a documentary called Transcend, about a struggling filmmaker named Armando Gonzales. He followed this up with 2010’s Exploited, which starred fetish model Mercedes the Muse, who helped found The Underground Front. At some point, Moses and Mercedes’ work caught the attention of Troma Entertainment and Lloyd Kaufman. Troma agreed to distribute their next film, a grindhouse-style anthology with some influence from Bonnie & Clyde. Mercedes would star alongside Jim Schumacher, the bass player for the heavy metal band Brocas Helm since 1982. In 2017, Moses’ Rose and Viktor: No Mercy was released by Troma in June 2017.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”65″ bar_bg_color=”#EDF000″ _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    After his band breaks up, bass player Viktor (Jim Schumacher) decides to be a gun-for-hire that kills people for money. Along his travels, he runs into a young runaway named Rose (Mercedes), who her father sexually abused. After castrating her father (Samuel Lopez), Rose joins Viktor as they go around dispensing bloody justice for the right price. They take on a sleazy strip club owner (Michael Sundin), who’s been skimping on the money he owes his girls. An old lover of Viktor’s wants him to kill her husband, a war veteran who sees everyone as a terrorist. As they slaughter their targets, Viktor and Rose hook up with various groupies, get high, and reunite with old friends. At one point, a kid hires Viktor and Rose to eliminate The Pope (Charles Darwin Hepburn). The two set out for The Vatican on what might be their most dangerous job yet.

     

    Review

    Going into Rose and Viktor: No Mercy, I had no idea what to expect other than pure cinematic trash. It seems like Moses and crew wanted to make the most trashy exploitation film possible, and they mostly succeeded. Imagine putting Pink Flamingos and Natural Born Killers in a blender, mixing in acid, and that barely sums this up. This film isn’t concerned with having a compelling story, award-winning acting, decent cinematography, or any good taste. If there’s a taboo, it’s put on full display, whether it’s golden showers, violent sodomy, or sexualized fascism. To their credit, the effects are decent despite the low budget, and there are plenty of wince-inducing sequences. If the gross, taboo-shattering imagery doesn’t put you off, the technical shortcomings will make this unwatchable. Granted, it’s hard to judge the film’s technical qualities considering there’s a chance the filmmakers didn’t care.

    The camera shakes constantly, and tons of zoom-ins and outs make it hard to see what’s happening. Also, the filmmakers added a digital film scratch to emulate an old grindhouse film, but it feels distracting. The acting isn’t great, but I suspect most of the dialogue was dubbed in post, considering the audio quality. In their defense, Jim Schumacher and Mercedes are having an excellent time and make a great duo. Plus, several segments have a unique look to emulate different film styles, like 30’s noir and 60’s drug movies. You can tell there is artistic merit underneath all the grime and grit; even trashiness is an art. While this film is not for everyone, it’s so bizarre and unlike anything else that it’s oddly compelling. Overall, Rose and Viktor: No Mercy is rough around the edges, but its imperfections make it stand out boldly.

     

    Buy Rose and Viktor: No Mercy from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3VtC2Pe.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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