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  • The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)

    The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)

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    With a $48 million budget, the 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie only made $38.9 million and received generally negative reviews. Because of this failure, Nintendo became more protective of its IPs and put future films on indefinite hold. In 2015, Nintendo announced a partnership with Universal Parks & Resorts to create Mario-themed attractions, ultimately creating Super Nintendo World. This partnership led to Mario creator Shigeru Miyamoto meeting with Illumination founder/CEO Chris Meledandri, and the two started collaborating. Miyamoto felt that Meledandri would be perfect for heading a Mario movie, with Nintendo making an official announcement in 2018. In 2021, Teen Titans Go! creators Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic were hired to direct, with Matthew Fogel writing. Fans became concerned about Chris Pratt and Seth Rogen voicing Mario and Donkey Kong, respectively, but the studio defended them. The Super Mario Bros. Movie hit the big screen in April 2023.

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    Synopsis

    Brothers Mario (Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) are Brooklyn plumbers struggling to find work after starting their own business. While trying to fix a sewer leak, the brothers are sucked into a pipe and get separated. Mario lands in the Mushroom Kingdom, while Luigi is in the Dark Lands, ruled over by King Bowser (Jack Black). After meeting Toad (Keegan-Michael Key), Mario is taken to Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy), hoping she’ll help him rescue his brother. She agrees to bring Mario and Toad along as she travels to the Jungle Kingdom to ask for their help. Their leader, Cranky Kong (Fred Armisen), will help if Mario can beat his son, Donkey Kong (Seth Rogen), in combat. Mario wins, so Cranky agrees to lend his army to help Peach fend off Bowser from conquering the Mushroom Kingdom. Will they succeed, or will King Bowser win Peach’s hand in marriage?

     

    Review

    I’d compare The Super Mario Bros. Movie to the first Sonic the Hedgehog movie: it isn’t groundbreaking but entertaining. Honestly, that’s all I was hoping to get out of this, and this movie pulls it off. This feels like what Super Mario Bros. should’ve been like back in 1993, and it probably would’ve done better. I often find Illumination’s animation mid-tier at best, but it looks fantastic here and does the franchise justice. It’s very bright and colorful, and the locations are varied, from the fantastical Mushroom Kingdom to the realistic-looking Brooklyn. There are plenty of Mario references sprinkled in, but it’s from a love of the franchise rather than forced recognition. Further adding to this is the fantastic score by Brian Tyler, which includes remixes of classic songs from the games. They add to the feel that this is a Super Mario Bros. movie.

    Despite how people initially reacted, Chris Pratt does a fine job as Mario, reserving the “Wahoos” to a minimum. If he had just done a typical Mario voice throughout, it would’ve gotten old quickly, so he was fine. Charlie Day is fantastic as Luigi and has excellent chemistry with Pratt, so it’s disappointing that they’re separated early on. Jack Black is another stand-out as the villainous Bowser, who has some hilarious musical interludes about pining over Princess Peach. Anya Taylor-Joy is another excellent casting choice for Princess Peach, as is Seth Rogen as Donkey Kong. I’d say Fred Armisen was the weakest as Cranky Kong, as he doesn’t sound as cranky as he should be. My only other complaint is that while Brian Tyler’s score is excellent, there’s some 80s rock that’s out of place. Overall, The Super Mario Bros. Movie isn’t perfect, but it’s a good time for fans.

    [/et_pb_text][et_pb_code _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” link_option_url_new_window=”on” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]Buy Your Tickets on Sale to watch ” The Super Mario Bros Movie TOS Promo” playing in theaters starting March 10th[/et_pb_code][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Necropolis (1987)

    Necropolis (1987)

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    As I mentioned in my Breeders review, Charles Band hired adult filmmaker Tim Kincaid to produce several direct-to-video movies. These were to be released under Band’s home video label, Wizard Video, which he started after leaving Meda Home Entertainment. While Kincaid was the primary director, he did hire other filmmakers for these projects, like Peter Manoogian for Enemy Territory. Enter Bruce Hickey, a theater actor from Chicago best known for playing Danny Zuko in the original production of Grease. In addition to acting, Hickey directed a few plays, including an adaptation of Hatful of Rain and Fool For Love. At some point, Tim Kincaid contacted him about producing a low-budget horror film shot in New York City. Hickey wrote a screenplay about a 300-year-old witch living in modern times, using cast and crew members from Kincaid’s camp. After a 1986 UK home video premiere, Necropolis got a 1987 US release.

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    Synopsis

    In 1686 New Amsterdam, the satanic witch Eva (LeeAnne Baker) placed a curse on Dawn (Jacquie Fitz) during her wedding. Unfortunately, Eva is killed by the local villagers before the ritual is finished, but not before swearing vengeance. Three hundred years later, Eva returns as a goth biker chick in New York City circa 1986. She uses her powers to rebuild her satanic coven and reclaim a powerful ring imbued by The Devil. After she leaves a trail of bodies, Detective Billy William (Michael Conte) investigates the deaths, which he rules as suicide. However, local reverend Tony (Andrew Bausili) believes the newly reincarnated witch killed these people. Eva can manipulate people’s minds, driving them to either self-harm or sell their souls to Satan. With the help of Detective Williams and Dawn’s descendant, Father Tony sets out to stop the witch for good.

    Review

    Given the outrageous premise, you would expect Necropolis to be a cheesy, fun, low-budget B-movie with plenty of laughs. Unfortunately, the poster and premise massively oversell the actual movie, which is a boring mess with some awful acting. LeeAnne Baker, who previously had minor roles in Breeders, Psychos in Love, and Galactic Gigolo, gets the lead role here. Sadly, it’s easy to see why she had bit parts considering her acting is on par with a bad porno. Seeing her try to be intimidating and seductive with her constant awkward dancing is unintentionally hilarious. It doesn’t help that the rest of the actors are dull and only highlight how horrendously bad Baker is. Granted, the dialogue is so bad that I can’t imagine even a good actor delivering some of these lines convincingly. Given Tim Kincaid’s involvement in this, it’s easy to see where the movie’s priorities lie.

    Like Tim Kincaid’s other productions, Ed French designed the makeup effects again, and they’re easily the best part. While we don’t get to see them much, the zombie followers of Eva look effectively creepy and weird. Also, the six breasts that Eva sprouts occasionally are done well for what it’s worth. Sadly, the same can’t be said for the general filmmaking on display, which is poor all around. So many night scenes are shot so dimly lit that it’s hard to tell what’s happening. Even at an hour and seventeen minutes, the movie drags to where you’ll be begging for the ending. I’ve seen plenty of low-budget films that didn’t have a lot of resources that still look better than this. Overall, Necropolis could’ve been a decently fun exploitation cheapie, but besides some ok makeup effects, it isn’t exciting. Moral of the story: don’t trust a movie’s box art.

     

    Buy Necropolis from Amazon: https://amzn.to/438S3xn.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Story of a Junkie (1985)

    Story of a Junkie (1985)

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    Originally from London, Lech Kowalski moved to the U.S. with his Polish parents, where he spent much of his upbringing. In 1969, Kowalski began experimenting with Super 8 filmmaking and made his first film, The Danger Halls. After surviving a car accident, he moved to New York and studied filmmaking at the School of Visual Arts. In 1976, Kowalski made his first documentary, Sex Stars, about adult film actors he met during this time. Entering the late 1970s, Kowalski became entrenched in the punk scene and attended various clubs, eventually meeting Tom Forcade. In exchange for an editing job, Forcade financed Kowalski’s 1981 documentary D.O.A., about The Sex Pistols’ only U.S. tour. During this time, Kowalski became fascinated by the drug scene in New York’s lower east side. He made the pseudo-documentary Gringo, released by Troma as Story of a Junkie in 1985.

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    Synopsis

    The film mainly follows Gringo (John Spacely), a heroin junkie living in New York’s East Village, going about his day. He talks about what it’s like living on the streets and how the drug dealing business works. As he tells his life story, we see Gringo buying cigarettes, picking up women, and trying to find his fortune. Sprinkled throughout are scenes featuring drug busts, confrontations with dealers, and various drug houses getting raided by the police. These moments are reenactments of stories as told by Gringo taken from his day-to-day life on the New York streets. We also learn about Gringo’s history: how an ordinary family raised him and what led to his downward spiral. He tells us tall tales about losing an eye in a fight and confronting doctors about a botched surgery. Learn more about the life of a drug addict in Story of a Junkie!

     

    Review

    Admittedly, Story of a Junkie is hard to review, not necessarily for its content but for its lack of story. It’s not that nothing happens, but the issue is that there isn’t much in the way of a narrative. The film is more like a series of events than a connected story from point A to point B. While it’s hard to follow, that almost feels intentional, which adds to the sense of realism. Life isn’t like a movie, where there’s a story going from one point to the next in a concise way. You feel like you’re there with Gringo as he goes about his day walking through the lower east side. If nothing else, this film is a great time capsule of New York’s East Village in the 1980s. It’s a unique period we’ll likely never see again, so it’s great to see it preserved.

    The acting isn’t great, but in this film’s defense, none of the people featured were actors but real-life junkies. John Spacely, who plays Gringo, was a heroin addict who tried cleaning himself and pursuing an acting career. Sadly, years of drug abuse and exchanging needles led to his dying of AIDS in 1992. It’s unfortunate because you can see that John had a lot of potential to be a solid actor. Kowalski’s decision to mix documentary footage with reenactments was an interesting choice, blurring the lines between fiction and reality. Also, it’s important to note that the filmmakers don’t try to glamorize or demonize drug abuse but instead be neutral. While this movie won’t be for everyone, it’s still worth a watch for being a look at a bygone age. Overall, Story of a Junkie is sometimes uneven, but it’s a fascinating look worth at least one viewing.

     

    Buy Story of a Junkie from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3ZBiAjO.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Super Mario Bros. (1993)

    Super Mario Bros. (1993)

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    Following the video game crash of 1983, Nintendo brought new life to the industry with the NES in 1985. The console launched with 17 games, including the side-scroller classic Super Mario Bros., which sold over 58 million copies. Around this time, producer/director Roland Joffé gained much attention for his Oscar-nominated films The Killing Fields and The Mission. Seeing the rising popularity of the Mario franchise, Joffé met with Nintendo to discuss adapting the game to film. Through his studio, Lightmotive, Joffé promised Nintendo complete creative control, but they felt the franchise was strong enough for experimentation. The studio hired Rocky Morton and Annabel Jankel, the creators of Max Headroom, to direct, though this led to problems. With a cast featuring Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo, and Dennis Hopper, and a $48 million budget, Lightmotive had total confidence. In May 1993, Super Mario Bros. went from the TV to the silver screen.

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    Synopsis

    Mario (Bob Hoskins) and Luigi (John Leguizamo) are struggling plumbers in Brooklyn who are close to going out of business. One day, the brothers meet Daisy (Samantha Mathis), an NYU student digging for dinosaur bones under the Brooklyn Bridge. While Mario and Luigi help her with a leak, Daisy is kidnapped by Iggy (Fisher Stevens) and Spike (Richard Edson). The brothers follow her and land in Dinohattan, a parallel version of Manhattan, where humans have evolved from dinosaurs. Iggy and Spike bring Daisy to King Koopa (Dennis Hopper), who wants a meteorite piece she keeps around her neck. Koopa wants the fragment to restore the meteor that struck Earth millions of years ago to merge the dimensions. It’s up to Mario and Luigi to rescue Daisy, retrieve the meteorite piece, and stop Koopa from ruling the dimensions. But this ain’t no game, as the universe hangs in the balance.

     

    Review

    Since its disastrous 1993 release, almost everyone has called Super Mario Bros. one of the worst movies ever. While I wouldn’t call this a good movie, I don’t think it’s as bad as its reputation would suggest. Morton and Jankel might’ve been slightly over their heads, but they certainly had some ambitious ideas. The weird, dystopian, sci-fi setting of Dinohattan is unique and has some interesting details, like baby carriages with eggs. Sure, the Blade Runner-like setting is as far removed from the games as possible, but it’s still fascinatingly weird. Also, even if he hated making the movie, Bob Hoskins was a solid casting choice for a live-action Mario. Like Hoskins, Dennis Hopper may have hated the experience, but he’s entertaining as the over-the-top villain, King Koopa. On the other hand, John Leguizamo was an odd choice for Luigi, but he’s likable enough.

    Aside from how different the film is from the games, the biggest problem is how inconsistent the tone is. While Alan Silvestri is a legendary composer, his lively music doesn’t fit with the grimy, grungy setting of Dinohattan. Given how the dark setting clashes with some of the goofier moments, it’s evident this ran into many production problems. The digital effects range from looking outdated to decent, but they’re better than some late 90s CGI. The film’s best effect is the fully animatronic Yoshi, which looks on par with the dinosaurs from Jurassic Park. At an hour and 44 minutes, the film often forgets specific plot points and drags considerably toward the middle. While it wasn’t the Mario movie audiences wanted, I’m glad it exists as this weird artifact of unhinged 90s filmmaking. Overall, Super Mario Bros. isn’t a good movie, but it’s earned its cult status.

     

    Buy Super Mario Bros. from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3TZyN0Z.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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    Where to watch Super Mario Bros. (1993)

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  • Puppet Master: Axis Termination (2017)

    Puppet Master: Axis Termination (2017)

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    After the release of Puppet Master X: Axis Rising in 2012, there was a renewed interest in Charles Band’s catalog. In addition to the launch of his streaming service, many of Band’s Empire Pictures catalog was getting rereleased. Companies like Shout Factory, 88 Films, and Kino Lorber were putting out blu-ray releases of From Beyond, Dolls, and Transformations. In 2015, Band signed a deal with the El Rey Network to broadcast Full Moon’s movies, starting with Puppet Master. Around the same time, Band announced a new entry in the series that would end the Axis Trilogy. Filming began in 2016 at Full Moon’s studios, though additional funding was provided through IndieGoGo, which totaled over $90,000. As an incentive, backers could have small parts, and El Rey ran a contest to be killed by the puppets. With help from the fans, Puppet Master: Axis Termination was released in September 2017.

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    Synopsis

    After Danny (Kip Canyon) and Beth (Jean Louise O’Sullivan) are murdered, the puppets are taken by Captain Brooks (Paul Logan). Brooks is given a special assignment from General Kip Hansard (Allen Perada) involving a group of psychics and puppets. The psychics are led by Dr. Ivan Ivanov (George Appleby), his daughter Elisa (Tania Fox), and Georgina Vale (Alynxia America). Meanwhile, Doktor Gerde Ernst (Tonya Kay) has taken control of the Nazi puppets: Bombshell, Blitzkrieg, and Weremacht. Ernst has been experimenting with help from Sturmbanfuhrer Steiner Krabke (Kevin Scott Allen) and Oberhelfer Friede Steitze (Lilou Vos). She’s found a way to extract more of the serum needed to keep the puppets alive and fighting. As Brooks and the Psychics fight the Nazis, Blade, Pinhead, Tunneler, Jester, Six Shooter, and Leech Woman fight the puppets. With the fate of the free world at stake, who will emerge victorious?

     

    Review

    Given that this was supposed to end the Axis Trilogy, it’s disappointing how lackluster Puppet Master: Axis Termination is. It’s not as bad as Puppet Master: The Legacy, but that’s not saying much, considering it was a clip show. For one, it’s disappointing that they took the previous films’ two leads and killed them off at the beginning. They’re not even given a proper send-off, but instead, they get gunned down in the street before the opening credits. Thankfully, the new characters introduced aren’t terrible, but it would’ve been nice to give Danny and Beth some closure. Some hastily added digital effects, especially the CG blood spray, also took me out of the movie. That bugs me because fake blood is easy to make, and they used real fake blood here. Considering this is the bloodiest entry, they may have run out of corn syrup and food coloring.

    The acting ranges from halfway decent to primarily flat, though there are a few standouts in the cast. Tonya Kay is easily the best part of the movie, playing her role as wickedly and devilishly as possible. Kevin Scott Allen also does a decent job as the psychic agent of Doktor Ernst, and Paul Logan makes for a solid square-jawed hero. The puppet effects are decent, though there are odd moments where they add people in costume on green screens. Seeing the puppets move weirdly fluidly makes me miss David Allen’s stop-motion work from the older movies. The pacing drags even at an hour and fifteen minutes, and the whole film feels anticlimactic by the end. It’s excellent that Full Moon got the fans involved in making this, but it’s disappointing how this finale turned out. Overall, Puppet Master: Axis Termination isn’t awful, but it’s not great, either.

     

    Buy Puppet Master: Axis Termination on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3U17uDn.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Decampitated (1998)

    Decampitated (1998)

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    After getting a book about legendary special effects artist Dick Smith, budding filmmaker Matt Cunningham’s path was set. In his own words, the book “set his hair on fire” as he started working on creating homemade make-up. By this time, it was the early 90s, and horror was expanding a mini-boom as self-aware slashers became popular. In 1995, Cunningham and his friends Ryan Lowery, Carolyn C. Miller, and Brian Walters started working on their slasher parody. Filming occurred in Colorado Springs on a minimal budget with a cast primarily of no-name actors. Unfortunately, they didn’t have enough money to market the film, and that’s when Troma stepped in. Lloyd Kaufman helped get the movie in front of audiences by taking it to the 1998 Cannes Film Festival. A few months later, Matt Cunningham’s Decampitated hit video store shelves in November 1998.

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    Synopsis

    Garret (Mike Hart) and April (Christine Patterson) are organizing a camping trip with their friends to DeCamp Acres. There’s Candace (Amy Gordon), Toby (Steve Ladden), Paige (Bethany La Voo), Roger (Thomas Martwick), and Vince (Deus Xavier Scott). Unfortunately, they get into a car accident on their way there and have to hike the rest of the way. Once they get to the campsite, things don’t get much better as there’s a killer on the loose. Throats are sliced, arms are hacked off, ears get cut off, and people get stabbed with tree taps. Also, the group runs into an old friend of Garrret’s, Jake (Ryan Lowery), who’s become a transvestite. As the group scatters across the woods, the mysterious backwoods killer stalks them, waiting for his moment to strike. Who is this mysterious slasher, and who will survive this camping trip from hell?

     

    Review

    Decampitated is one of those movies you’ll love or hate depending on your sense of humor. There’s no hope if a camper trying to escape a killer by hacking her limbs off doesn’t make you giggle. The film is littered with these gags, like a woman beating up the killer with her severed arm. Almost every scene of this movie has some joke or funny moment that comes one after the other. Admittedly, plenty of them miss their mark and often get repeated too much, but there are some real hitters. With a few exceptions, almost everyone plays their parts as silly as possible without mugging for the camera. One of the few exceptions is Amy Gordon, who acts annoyed around these people and always makes passive-aggressive comments. That said, she does have some of the film’s best lines, especially when dealing with Garrett.

    It doesn’t look half bad for a film that most likely only had a few thousand dollars in the budget. There are some decent gore effects, and Cunningham keeps the action moving with some fluid camera movements. Unfortunately, this movie is a product of its time, so get used to tight zooms and choppy editing. The soundtrack has a few nu-metal bands, including H2O, Strife, Coalesce, and Hatebreed, as well as some kitschy 40’s music. The vintage music is mainly used when the killer’s about to strike, which adds to the cartoony vibe. That’s probably the best way to describe this film: a live-action cartoon with gore and some poorly aged stereotypes. At slightly over 90 minutes, this movie is a good time waster you and your friends can enjoy laughing at. Overall, Decampitated is rough around the edges, but it makes for a decent bad movie night.

     

    Buy Decampitated from Amazon: https://amzn.to/4iPOG6Q.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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    Where to watch Decampitated (1998)

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  • John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)

    John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)

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    During a Reddit AMA, Chad Stahelski said if John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum was successful, he’d direct a fourth film. Thankfully, the sequel grossed over $327 million worldwide against a $75 million budget, becoming the highest-grossing entry in the series. While it wasn’t initially confirmed, Keanu Reeves announced he’d return after finishing his commitment to The Matrix Resurrections. Lionsgate officially announced plans for a 4th and 5th film in August 2020, the first scheduled for a 2022 release. The studio also decided to replace long-time writer Derek Kolstad with Shay Hatten and Predators screenwriter Michael Finch. Filming started in June 2021 and took place around France, Germany, New York, and Japan with a $100 million budget. While Lionsgate announced a Memorial Day 2022 release, the film was pushed back to avoid competition with Top Gun: Maverick. Following a London premiere, John Wick: Chapter 4 hit theaters in March 2023.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”95″ bar_bg_color=”#7CDA24″ _builder_version=”4.20.2″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.2″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    After years of hiding, John Wick (Keanu Reeves) is prepared to exact his revenge on The High Table. In response, a senior High Table member called the Marquis Vincent de Gramont (Bill Skarsgård) destroys the New York Continental. He also strips former manager Winston (Ian McShane) of his power and sends blind hitman Caine (Donnie Yen) after Wick. At the same time, someone known as the “Tracker” (Shamier Anderson) is keeping track of Wick and his bounty. Following an attack in Osaka, Wick learns of the Continental’s demise and reunites with Winston, who offers him a solution. Winston suggests Wick challenge Gramont to a duel, but he has to be associated with a family. Wick returns to his Ruska Roma family and challenges Gramont to a duel overseen by The Harbinger (Clancy Brown). Despite agreeing to the terms, Gramont will stop at nothing to prevent John Wick from showing up.

     

    Review

    Given how long we had to wait for this sequel, it’s incredible how great John Wick: Chapter 4 turned out. By the fourth entry in a franchise, it typically starts to lose some steam and fall into sequelitis. Thankfully, that’s not the case here, as Chad Stahelski and team managed to make an entry that exceeds the original. Like before, Keanu Reeves is a force to be reckoned with as the nearly indestructible John Wick. Though a man of few words, Reeves again expresses more through his actions than he could by dialogue. Bill Skarsgård is excellent as the Marquis, playing the best kind of villain, where you love to hate him. Donnie Yen is also fantastic as the blind hitman Caine, who’s more than a match for Wick. Interestingly, this is the second movie where Donnie Yen plays a skilled fighter who’s blind, the first being Rogue One.

    Though his scenes are few, Clancy Brown brings a quiet intensity as the Harbinger that permeates throughout the movie. The always dependable Hiroyuki Sanada does a great job, and Scott Adkins is hilarious as an overweight crime boss. Singer/model Rina Sawayama is excellent, considering this is her feature film debut, and she shows great potential. Special mention goes to Shamier Anderson, who shares some great scenes with Reeves and does well in the fight scenes. Like the earlier films, the action sequences are well-shot, incredibly fluid, well-edited, and more exciting than the last. For example, there’s a shootout where it goes from ground level to a bird’s eye view, like a top-down shooter. My only real complaint is the runtime, which could’ve been trimmed slightly, but that’s it. Overall, John Wick: Chapter 4 will go down as one of the best movies of 2023.

    [/et_pb_text][et_pb_code _builder_version=”4.20.2″ _module_preset=”default” link_option_url_new_window=”on” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]Buy Your Tickets on Sale to watch “John Wick: Chapter 4” playing in theaters starting March 24th[/et_pb_code][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.2″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Galactic Gigolo (1987)

    Galactic Gigolo (1987)

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    Released in 1987, Psychos in Love was a minor hit for Charles Band’s Wizard Video. After this, Band offered director Gorman Bechard a multi-picture deal to produce more direct-to-video titles for Empire Pictures. With his previous film, Bechard had complete creative control since Band was merely distributing the movie. However, Bechard would grow to hate his time working with Empire Pictures, starting with a sci-fi sex comedy. Originally titled Club Earth, Bechard intended the film to be a “non-animated adult cartoon” with bright, flashy colors. In an interview with Cinefantastique, Bechard said Empire chopped the movie in editing and removed all the colors. To this day, Gorman Bechard has disowned the film and is thankful that Empire Pictures went bankrupt soon after. With all that in mind, let’s look at 1987’s Galactic Gigolo and see how bad it is.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”40″ bar_bg_color=”#E09900″ _builder_version=”4.20.2″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.2″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]

    Synopsis

    After winning a game show, the intergalactic alien Eoj (Carmine Capobianco) wins a trip to Earth. Specifically, he’s sent to Prospect, CT, “The Horniest Town in the Galaxy,” to sleep with as many women as possible. His arrival catches the attention of two groups of people, a family of Jewish rednecks and some mobsters. Billy Joe Bob (Barry Finkel), Big Peter Dick (Todd Kimsey), and Sammy Harry Bill (J.E.L. Gitter) want him captured. Meanwhile, Sonny (Michael Citriniti), Carmine (Tony Kruk), and Tony (David Coughlin) want Eoj to help them commit robberies. Tagging along with Eoj on his sexcapades are reporter Hildy (Debi Thibeault) and her photographer Waldo (Frank Stewart). During one of his more prominent sexcapades with Dr. Pepper (Ruth Collins), Eoj is intercepted by the rednecks and mobsters. Will Eoj escape them and finish his vacation, or is this Galactic Gigolo done for?

     

    Review

    Despite its flaws, I found Psychos in Love a fun, strangely heartfelt horror-comedy romance with a home-grown feel. Because of that, it hurts to say that Galactic Gigolo is one of the most unfunny comedies I’ve ever seen. Granted, I don’t go into a movie like Galactic Gigolo expecting something similar to The Marx Brothers or Mel Brooks. The humor is pretty low-brow, relying either on stereotypes, innuendos, or slapstick, complete with cartoon sound effects. It doesn’t help that the film doesn’t have much of a narrative, just going from one scene to another. It goes like this: sex scene, rednecks acting goofy, sex scene, mobsters doing whatever, rinse and repeat. Even at 80 minutes, the movie feels like it’s slowly plodding along, trying to get to the ending. Honestly, this movie was a slog for me, so be warned if you’re curious to watch it.

    Everyone in the cast plays their parts as exaggeratedly as possible, which can get irritating after a while. The worst is with the rednecks, who stretch their lines so long that you’ll scream, “Cut!” Like Bechard’s last movie, Carmine Capobianco and Debi Thibeault are easily the movie’s highlights and get the biggest laughs. They have a few scenes together where you can see the same chemistry they had in Psychos. Speaking in Bechard’s defense, I can see how he intended this to be like a live-action cartoon. I’m unsure how much Charles Band did to this movie, but I’d be curious to see Bechard’s original vision. Regardless, as unfunny as this movie is, I’d still watch this over It’s Pat or Freddy Got Fingered. Overall, Galactic Gigolo isn’t the worst comedy, but I still wouldn’t give it a glowing recommendation.

     

    Buy Galactic Gigolo on Amazon: https://amzn.to/40m5BUw.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Hectic Knife (2016)

    Hectic Knife (2016)

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    Born in 1986 in Detroit, Greg DeLiso moved to New York to attend the NYFA’s one-year directing program in 2004. After graduation, DeLiso got his first job shooting a music video for PBK’s song “Tout Va Bien.” Around 2010, he and his high school friend Peter Litvin worked on a series called Short Films for Nobody. In 2011, DeLiso directed his first feature-length film, the documentary Canada’s Best Kept Secret, which Litvin did the score for. Around this time, the two started brainstorming ideas for a parody of the recent dark, brooding superhero movie trend. Filming began in 2010 and took roughly four to five years to complete as they had a minimal budget. Once filming finished, they called Troma to make a deal for distribution, and a contract was drafted in a week. Greg DeLiso’s Hectic Knife was released to the world in July 2016.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”70″ bar_bg_color=”#EDF000″ _builder_version=”4.20.2″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.2″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]

    Synopsis

    The city streets are riddled with crime, and the only one standing up is the vigilante Hectic Knife (Peter Litvin). Armed with knives, Hectic kills drug dealers and thieves while practicing his knife-wielding skills in his shabby apartment. He gets a roommate, Link (John Munnelly), and a girlfriend, Frannie Glooper (Georgia Kate Haege), who constantly annoys him. Meanwhile, the evil villain, Piggly Doctor (J.J. Brine), plans to rule the world with his sidekick Porch (Traci Ann Wolfe). Piggly’s ultimate plan is to make the heads of children spontaneously explode, and only Hectic Knife can stop him. Along the way, he’ll contend with bagel-obsessed thugs, reunite with his estranged father (Randy Hutch), and find his true self. Unbeknownst to him, his girlfriend has been stealing his money, and Link gets kidnapped by Piggly. It’s up to Hectic Knife to defeat Piggly Doctor and save children from having their heads explode.

     

    Review

    If how I described Hectic Knife makes it sound like one of the dumbest movies ever, that’s because it is. The movie is intentionally bad, but not in a way that feels like they didn’t try, like with Llamageddon. It feels like Greg DeLiso and Peter Litvin set out to make the stupidest film they could come up with. Hectic Knife is constantly brooding and insults everyone he encounters, even his girlfriend, to the point that it becomes funny. Much of the humor is predictable, and some of the jokes drag in a way similar to Adult Swim. As a parody, it does an excellent job satirizing the tropes of many superhero movies around the mid-2000s to 2010s. While a product of its low budget, the black-and-white look could be a parody of Sin City and The Spirit. That said, the cheap aesthetic adds to the film’s campy charm.

    The acting is all over the place, with almost everyone overacting for the camera, showing that this is a comedy. I wouldn’t call the acting bad, as everyone intentionally acts terribly, but your enjoyment will vary depending on your tolerance. While lacking in nudity, there’s plenty of blood and gore to satiate exploitation fans as everyone spews blood all over. The effects aren’t the greatest, but there’s the ambition behind them, especially when they add stop-motion and computer effects. Like the acting, the action sequences are intentionally bad, but it adds to the film’s humor. At slightly under 90 minutes, the film drags considerably at points, and plenty of scenes could’ve been cut. Still, this is a fairly impressive, occasionally funny parody of overly broody and self-serious superhero movies. Overall, Hectic Knife isn’t for anyone, but if thugs arguing over bagels for near eternity sounds funny, check it out.

     

    Buy Hectic Knife from Amazon: https://amzn.to/42y2UAs.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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    Where to watch Hectic Knife (2016)

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  • Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023)

    Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023)

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    With an estimated $100 million budget, 2019’s Shazam! was a financial success, grossing nearly $366 million worldwide. In addition, the film garnered positive reviews, earning a 90% rating on Rotten Tomatoes for its performances and lighter tone. A sequel was to follow, and much of the original cast and crew announced their return in December 2019. While initially scheduled for an April 2022 release, the sequel was pushed back to November due to COVID-19. New cast members included Helen Mirren, Lucy Liu, and Rachel Zegler, who debuted in the 2021 West Side Story remake. The movie was shot in Atlanta from May 26 to August 31, 2021, with a budget of $125 million. Following WarnerMedia’s merger with Discovery Inc, the studio decided to replace the upcoming Aquaman sequel with this film. Finally, the long-awaited Shazam! Fury of the Gods hit worldwide theaters on March 17, 2023.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”40″ bar_bg_color=”#E09900″ _builder_version=”4.23.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.23.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    Billy Batson (Angel Asher), as his alter ego Shazam (Zachary Levi), is having difficulty maintaining his adoptive family. The other siblings want to do their own thing, while Billy worries about being thrown out once he’s 18. On top of that, Billy gets a message from The Wizard (Djimon Hounsou), warning him about the Daughters of Atlas. Said daughters, Hespera (Helen Mirren) and Kalypso (Lucy Liu), possess the broken staff that gave Billy his powers. Meanwhile, Billy’s brother Freddy (Jack Dylan Grazer) meets a girl named Anne (Rachel Zegler), who is Atlas’s youngest daughter, Anthea. Hespera and Kalypso trap Philadelphia in a dome and steal the Golden Apple, the seed of the Tree of Life. When the sisters grow the tree, several monsters sprout throughout the city and attack the citizens. Billy and his “Shazamily” must band together to stop the sisters from plunging the world into darkness.

     

    Review

    What made the original film great was its mix of superhero action and a story about finding one’s family. With the sequel, that spark is missing, as it drags more into a generic by-the-numbers superhero spectacle. It doesn’t help that the “Shazamily” spends most of their time in their superhero form, which creates a weird disconnect. While the alter ego actors are reasonable, it doesn’t feel like we’re watching grown-up versions of the same characters. The exception is Jack Dylan Grazer, who gets the most character development and is easily the movie’s highlight. He has fantastic chemistry with Rachel Zegler, and his scenes with Djimon Honsou are funny. Meanwhile, Asher Angel only shows up two or three times, giving the majority of screen time to Zachary Levi. This disconnect and lack of balance ultimately hurt the film’s chances of matching the quality of the original.

    Helen Mirren and Lucy Liu do a decent job as the new villains but ultimately feel wasted. Djimon Hounsou’s return is welcome as he does a great job, but it makes his sacrifice in the original hollow. While there is some fun spectacle, especially seeing Shazam fight a giant dragon, it’s hard to care about what’s happening. Again, it goes back to the original, how the hero and villain have a similar backstory but different outcomes. While I’m not saying the sequel needed something similar, it lacked the depth and heart it had. This viewing experience is more fulfilling than Black Adam, which was even more generic, but that’s not saying much. Ultimately, this sequel disappoints, leaving one wondering what the future holds, given the eventual DC Universe reboot. Overall, Shazam! Fury of the Gods has some entertaining moments but at the cost of the original’s charm.

    [/et_pb_text][et_pb_code _builder_version=”4.20.2″ _module_preset=”default” link_option_url_new_window=”on” global_colors_info=”{}”]Buy Your Tickets on Sale to watch ” Shazam! Fury of the Gods” playing in theaters starting March 17th[/et_pb_code][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.2″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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