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Category: Cult Films

  • Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)

    Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)

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    Around 2002, aspiring filmmaker Daniel Bova submitted a spec script to Troma Entertainment for consideration, which saw various re-writes. Gabriel Friedman, a long-time editor for Troma, completed a final draft in 2004 under Poultrygeist: Attack of the Chicken Zombies. After failing to acquire funding, Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz had to pay out of pocket for the film’s budget. With a budget of roughly $500,000, Troma managed to acquire hundreds of volunteer crew over the internet. Filming primarily took place at an abandoned McDonald’s in Buffalo, NY, with additional filming in a local church. Unfortunately, like any Troma film, this one was plagued with production problems, including pay disputes and malfunctioning special effects. Despite all the issues, filming wrapped in August of 2005, and the film premiered in New York the following year. It wouldn’t be until 2007 that Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead would see a limited release.

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    Synopsis

    While Arbie (Jason Yachanin) has to stay behind for his family, his girlfriend Wendy (Kate Graham) is bound for college. They’re reunited one college semester later, except it turns out Wendy is now dating Micki (Allyson Sereboff). The two of them are protesting against the American Chicken Bunker, a fast food restaurant built on an Indian graveyard. To get back at Wendy, Arbie decides to get a job at ACB and meets the manager Denny (Joshua Olatunde). Unbeknownst to the staff, the spirits of the chickens and Native Americans are seeking revenge against their oppressors. General Lee Roy (Robin L. Watkins) tries quelling the protestors, but Native American chicken zombies soon invade the restaurant. As our heroes scramble for survival, Arbie and Wendy manage to rekindle their romance and grow as people. But will they survive, or will they be the next meal for these flesh-eating fowl fiends?

     

    Review

    Troma is known for making wildly crazy movies, but Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead might be their craziest yet. Honestly, even just describing some of the insanity packed into this film would be doing it a disservice. While many films have at least one memorable moment, they pack tons of special moments into their runtime. Every scene stands out, from an overweight man coating a bathroom in diarrhea to a guy becoming a sandwich. There is an overabundance of bodily fluids everywhere in typical Troma fashion, including blood, shit, slime, and everything in between. Also, in the spirit of Troma, there’s some great social commentary about the fast-food industry and corporate greed. Admittedly, there’s some dated humor straight out of the mid-2000s, but those moments are few and far between. If nothing else, this movie will make you think twice about going out to order some fast food.

    The cast all play their parts in an exaggerated way that’s funny and genuine without being obnoxious. Jason Yachanin is loveable as the dopey-eyed guy working to win his girl back while trying to survive this situation. Kate Graham has terrific chemistry with Jason, and she’s also sweet as the naive girl wanting to make a difference. Each ACB staff member stands out, including the flamboyant Paco Bell, the Islamic stereotype Hummus, and the hillbilly Carl Jr. Even though he’s pretty much the stereotypical corporate villain, Robin L. Watkins is charming as the enigmatic General. Plus, there are some appearances from Troma veterans Joe Fleishaker, Ron Jeremy, and Debbie Rochon. The film has musical numbers, and while some are better than others, they add to the film’s campy charm. Overall, Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead may not be for everyone, but it’s a must for horror-comedy fans.

    One final note: if you decide to watch this, consider also watching the documentary Poultry in Motion. It’s easily one of the best behind-the-scenes documentaries you’ll ever see, and it’s worth a watch all on its own.

     

    Buy Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3E7YAvI.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at no additional cost, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and make a purchase.

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    Where to watch Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)

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  • Head of the Family (1996)

    Head of the Family (1996)

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    After leaving Marvel Comics in 1986, legendary artist Jack Kirby worked on concept art for potential films at Empire Pictures. The films were a Doctor Strange-inspired story called Doctor Mortalis and Mindmaster, about a paraplegic kid controlling a robot. Unfortunately, neither movie got made since Empire Pictures couldn’t secure financing from Vestron, and they eventually went bankrupt. Charles Band would eventually rework the Doctor Mortalis concept into 1992’s Doctor Mordrid starring Jeffrey Combs and Brian Thompson. Two years after Jack Kirby’s death in 1994, Band went to frequent collaborator Benjamin Carr about a new concept. By pure coincidence, Band’s idea was similar to a Kirby story from 1954 in Black Magic Volume 4 #6. Whether coincidental or not, Carr and Band set to work on what would become one of Full Moon’s weirdest movies. In November of 1996, Head of the Family hit the video store shelves nationwide.

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    Synopsis

    Loretta (Jacqueline Lovell) is cheating on her biker husband Howard (Gordon Jennison Noice) with local conman Lance (Blake Adams). While driving after a nightly fling, they witness the Stackpools, a family of misfits, dragging a man into their home. Suspecting foul play, Lance decides to investigate further and learns the horrible truth about the family. Siblings Wheeler (James Jones), Otis (Bob Schott), and Ernestina (Dianne Colazzo) are mind-controlled by brother Myron (J. W. Perra). Also, Myron has a giant head, is confined to a wheelchair, and experiments on his victims for a new body. Seeing an opportunity, Lance hires the Stackpools to dispose of Howard in exchange for him keeping quiet about their exploits. They succeed, but Lance decides to extort them for the prominent fortune they’re sitting on, threatening them with legal action. Unbeknownst to Lance, Myron has something grand in store for him and Loretta.

     

    Review

    Compared to the rest of Full Moon’s library, Head of the Family is by far one of their weirdest movies. Admittedly, its story is pretty basic, but the strange characters and odd mix of campy and creepy elevate it. Right from the opening themes conducted by Richard Band, you know this will be both wacky and weird. In the middle of this tale of extortion and blackmail, you’ve got all these strange beings lurking around. J. W. Perra sells it as the maniacal Myron, acting like a cross between Orson Welles and The Brain. What also helps are the makeup effects and camera tricks used to make him look convincing as this character. While they don’t have many lines, Jones, Scott, and Colazzo stand out in their roles just for their sheer weirdness. Seeing them stand around with their blank expressions is pretty frightening.

    Blake Adams and Jacqueline Lovell work well as the straight players against the strange things around them. Blake is very charismatic and entertaining as the sleazy conman who will stop at nothing to get what he wants. On top of being more than willing to get naked, Lovell is charming and funny in her sardonic role. The effects are surprisingly decent for such a low-budget film, although a few look pretty cheap by comparison. It doesn’t help either that there are times where they have to add fire to some scenes digitally. Directing-wise, Charles Band does a decent job using shadows and lighting to create a compellingly spooky mood. At times, the movie does stretch things out to hit its 82-minute mark, but it gets the job done. Overall, Head of the Family is an oddity, but it’s an oddity worth seeking out for Full Moon fans.

     

    Buy Head of the Family from:

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Howard the Duck (1986)

    Howard the Duck (1986)

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    In Marvel Comics’ Adventure into Fear #19, writer Steve Gerber and artist Val Mayerik introduced Howard the Duck in 1973. Gerber wrote the character with existential themes whose central joke was that funny and intense are often indistinguishable. After the production of American Graffiti, George Lucas introduced the comics to co-writers Willard Hyuck and Gloria Katz. While they intended for the film to be animated, Lucas’ contract required that he produce a live-action movie. Universal optioned the film due to having turned down opportunities to work with Lucas in the past. Lucas spent his money to bring Howard to life, designing an animatronic suit that actor Ed Gale would wear. They cast Lea Thompson, Jeffrey Jones, and a relatively unknown Tim Robbins, with Chip Zien providing Howard’s voice. Following a five-month shoot and extensive post-production, Howard the Duck arrived in theaters in August 1986.

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    Synopsis

    Mild-mannered Howard T. Duck is relaxing in his apartment on Duckworld when a vortex abducts and drops him on Earth. He winds up in Cleveland, where thugs assault up-and-coming rockstar Beverly (Lea Thompson), so Howard fends them off. Beverly decides to let him crash at her place while they figure out how Howard arrived on Earth. She takes him to her scientist friend Phil (Tim Robbins), but Howard blows him off since he’s just a janitor. After unsuccessfully trying to make it on his own, Howard goes back to Beverly and meets her band, Cherry Bomb. Later, Phil introduces Howard to Dr. Jenning (Jeffrey Jones), who explains that a laser spectroscope accidentally brought Howard to Earth. Unfortunately, the spectroscope brought down The Dark Overlord, which possesses Jenning and plans to bring down his fellow overlords. He kidnaps Beverly, so it’s up to Howard and Phil to save the world!

     

    Review

    Ever since its release, Howard the Duck has been called one of the worst movies of all time. People compare this to movies like Freddy Got Fingered, Plan 9 from Outer Space, and Manos: The Hands of Fate. Even though I believe it’s nowhere near one of the worst movies ever, that doesn’t mean it’s a good movie. For instance, the film has very little humor, often relying on duck puns, corny one-liners, and tons of slapstick. Also, it seems confused on whether it wants to be for kids or older audiences, constantly going back and forth. Acting-wise, everyone seems to be trying given the material, but people like Tim Robbins probably don’t like people mentioning this. The film introduces elements that would be more interesting than what we’re shown, such as the brief glimpses of Duckworld. Even with these flaws, there are plenty of good qualities.

    For one, even if Howard isn’t that appealing of a character, the costume and animatronics are impressive. Given that this came out in 1986, the amount of expressions they can get from the animatronic head is remarkable. Also, the prosthetics used to show Jenning’s transformation into the Dark Overlord are effectively creepy, enhanced with optical effects. In addition, the stop-motion used for the Dark Overlord towards the end is impressive, as expected from Phil Tippett. The music is surprisingly catchy, and credit should go to Lea Thompson and her bandmates for taking singing lessons. A common complaint is that it’s too silly to take seriously and vice-versa, but that might’ve been intentional. While not necessarily an unappreciated gem, this is a film worth re-evaluating and giving a second chance. Overall, Howard the Duck is undoubtedly flawed, but it has some decent qualities that critics and audiences may have overlooked.

     

    Buy Howard the Duck from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3BS8Qq1.

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  • Redneck Zombies (1989)

    Redneck Zombies (1989)

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    Having grown up in the Baltimore area, Pericles Lewnes knew that he always wanted to be a filmmaker. With his friends Ed Bishop and Bill Decker, he decided to work on something that could be gory and slapstick. They came up with the title Redneck Zombies, and from there, started brainstorming various ideas for gags and gore effects. Working on a very shoestring budget, they said that the film should play more like a parody than something serious. Towards the end of filming, Lewnes saw The Toxic Avenger at a local theater and fell in love with Troma. He took the film to Troma and made a distribution deal, which led to Lewnes working for the company. Lewnes got to work on Troma’s War, The Toxic Avenger Parts 2 & 3, and Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. Finally, in early 1989, Lewnes’ Redneck Zombies was released to video store shelves.

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    Synopsis

    While driving through the backwoods, a soldier named Tyrone Robinson (Tyrone Taylor) accidentally loses a barrel of toxic waste. A family of moonshiners, the Clemsons, finds the barrel and decides to use it for their still. Meanwhile, some young people are hiking through the woods for a camping trip led by Wilbur (James H. Housely). One night, the young people get high on weed while the local rednecks drink the radioactive moonshine the Clemsons made. Unfortunately, the following day, the rednecks who drank the moonshine have turned into flesh-eating zombies wandering through the woods. As the zombies tear their way through the area, the remaining campers, including Lisa Dubois (Lisa M. DeHaven), try surviving. The drugged-out Bob (Anthony Burlington-Smith) discovers that deodorant kills the zombies, but will that be enough to stop them? It’s a good old-fashioned hoedown of horror as our heroes try surviving the Redneck Zombies!

     

    Review

    Redneck Zombies is one of those movies that you should go into with shallow expectations before watching it. With a title like that, you really shouldn’t go into this thinking it’s going to be a terrifying zombie film. This film has its tongue planted firmly in its cheek and wants you to laugh along with it. There are plenty of over-the-top performances, a ridiculous story, and tons of gore like any good Troma movie. On that note, the gore effects are surprisingly decent given the meager budget they had on hand. Admittedly, the make-up effects are pretty cheesy, but the filmmakers were fully aware and are rolling with it. Seeing many people with black eye makeup and putty-covered faces stumbling around has a charming quality to it. As goofy as most of the film is, there are some genuinely sickening scenes in the last few minutes. It’s a mixed bag.

    Given that the filmmakers were trying to make a fun, cheesy monster movie, it seems pointless to critique this seriously. For instance, the movie was shot on video instead of on film since it’s much cheaper than using film. Also, don’t expect deep characterization or a richly compelling story since the filmmakers weren’t concerned about that. Still, there are tons of filler scenes, and several of the jokes don’t land quite as well as they hoped. Plus, some of the more exaggerated performances can get grating at times, but it seems intentional given their ultimate fate. Thankfully, at just slightly under 90 minutes in length, the movie won’t take up too much of your time. If you’re looking for a fun bad movie to watch with some friends and some drinks, look no further. Overall, Redneck Zombies is no Night of the Living Dead, but it doesn’t have to be.

     

    Buy Redneck Zombies from Amazon: https://amzn.to/2UKMOW8.

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  • Crash! (1976)

    Crash! (1976)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]In the 1970s, there was a sort of mini-trend of car movies, usually involving various stunts and wrecks. This decade saw the likes of films including Dirty Mary Crazy Larry, The Gumball Rally, and Smokey and the Bandit. One prominent director who made these car movies was Steven Spielberg, whose early works included Duel and The Sugarland Express. In 1977, Universal planned to release The Car, which would’ve added a supernatural element to the car movie. After producing Mansion of the Doomed, the distributors asked Charles Band to make a similarly themed car movie. Charlie wound up directing this as his second feature, his first being the lost 1973 spoof Last Foxtrot in Burbank. The plan was to shoot this film over the weekends and get it released to theaters before Universal’s movie. In the end, the finished movie hit theaters in late 1976/early 1977 as Crash!

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    Synopsis

    Young Kim Denne (Sue Lyons) purchases a strange-looking idol from a vendor at a flea market before returning home. She’s married to the older Marc Denne (Jose Ferrer), who was in a horrific car accident that left him paralyzed. Marc resents that Kim can walk around fine despite the accident as he constantly treats her like dirt. After she goes for a drive, he sends his trained Doberman to follow and attack her, causing her to crash. Thankfully, Kim survives the crash and wakes up in the hospital, where she’s cared for by Dr. Martin (John Ericson). Unfortunately, Kim has lost her memory, yet she still holds onto the idol as if she’s always had it. At the same time, a mysterious black car is going around killing people and causing car crashes. It turns out the idol is using Kim to control this demon car to exact her revenge!

     

    Review

    Crash! is a film that could only have come out in the drive-in era of the 1970s. You’ve got a completely nonsensical plot whose sole purpose is to try connecting tons of car crashes together. Also, there are tons and tons of real cars crashing into each other for real with real explosions. Keep in mind that this was pre-CGI and made on a low budget, so the stuntwork is pretty impressive. Interestingly enough, one of the film’s cinematographers was Andrew Davis, who went on to direct The Fugitive and Under Siege. The music from composer Andrew Belling also helps this stand out, with a very 70s funk sound. He’d later compose the music for End of the World and Fairy Tales before Richard Band became the go-to guy. Speaking of the Bands, both Richard and Charlie have minor cameo appearances in the film.

    The film has quite an interesting cast, including Sue Lyon (Lolita), Jose Ferrer (Cyrano de Bergerac), and even John Carradine. Admittedly, Carradine only has a few minutes of screentime since he filmed his scenes over a weekend. Lyon makes the best of the albeit light material she’s given and comes off creepy in some moments. Ferrer is fine as the conniving husband, even though it feels like he’s just waiting for his paycheck to clear. Also, John Ericson comes off a little bland as the compassionate doctor trying to help Kim regain her memories. Like many of Charles Band’s early work, this one does suffer from having too much padding, even at 90 minutes. Still, this provides plenty of B-movie thrills, and the car stunts do steal the show, so there is that. Overall, Crash! is that particular kind of schlock that could only come from the 1970s.

     

    Buy Crash! from:

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Tales from the Crapper (2004)

    Tales from the Crapper (2004)

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    Following a successful web-comic on Troma’s website in the early 2000s, Lloyd Kaufman wanted to expand it further. He signed a contract with adult film star India Allen to produce two digitally-shot films and a TV series. Unfortunately, a year into production, the footage presented to Kaufman was unwatchable, and the entire budget was gone. Kaufman and his business partner, Michael Herz, were unhappy about what had happened and needed a plan. So, to try and salvage the footage, they decided to turn the two movies into one anthology film. Filming began in 2003 around New York and Los Angeles, though the production problems were just getting started. Alongside dealing with an incompetent crew, many scenes had to be redubbed and stitched together to make it work. After a rather tumultuous post-production period, Troma finally released Tales from the Crapper in September of 2004.

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    Synopsis

    Our illustrious master of ceremonies, the Crap Keeper (Lloyd Kaufman), presents us with two stories to get the juices flowing. The first tale, “The Case of the Melon Heavy Alien Man Eater,” involves a man-eating alien who becomes a stripper. Sgt. Ivana Dance (Julie Strain) goes undercover to investigate the bizarre murders happening at The Shimmering Beaver strip club. The second tale, “Tuition of the Terror Twat”, involves Timmy (Rob Zazzali) losing his college tuition money. His skinny buddy (Andy Lazarus) and friend Racoon Head (Jorge Garcia) decide to host a stripper party to raise money. They hire Demanda (Julie Strain) and her girls, but it turns out the strippers are vampires who slaughter the partiers. In between these stories, the Crap Keeper reads fan letters and teaches us how to make our damn movie. It’s a cornucopia of blood, boobs, and bad jokes in Tales from the Crapper!

     

    Review

    Considering the production problems that happened, it’s a wonder that Tales from the Crapper even exists in the first place. While it’s admirable that they tried to salvage this whole debacle, it might’ve been better to cut their losses. Still, $200,000 is a lot of money for Troma, so I understand them wanting to make some effort. You can quickly tell what footage was shot by India Allen by the horrible lighting and obvious dubbing. Unfortunately, the reshoots aren’t much better, though they are more watchable, and you can hear the original audio. The Troma team tried spicing up the unwatchable footage by adding gore, nudity, and tons of politically incorrect humor. Unfortunately, much of the comedy comes off more obnoxious than humorous, especially the intentionally lousy dubbing and the patented “Boner-Vision.” Admittedly, when they change it to “Doggie-Vision” at one point, that was kinda funny.

    Since the filmmakers added dubbing due to the bad sound, it’s hard to gauge their acting without hearing their voices. It also doesn’t help that you can’t tell what’s happening most of the time because of the poor filmmaking. That said, the late Julie Strain is trying to make the most of the material by chewing the scenery. We also get fun cameos from Troma alumni James Gunn, Joe Fleishaker, Trey Parker, Eli Roth, and Trent Haaga. Additionally, the gore they added in post-production is pretty impressive, given the lack of available resources. In addition to the “Boner-Vision,” the sound will frequently cut to a fake commentary track talking about the poor quality. While these can make the viewing experience harder, it’s nice to see them self-aware of the disaster unfolding. Overall, Tales from the Crapper is awful on a technical level but somewhat admirable given the circumstances.

     

    Buy Tales from the Crapper from Amazon: https://amzn.to/2Xw8Qgu.

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  • Killjoy (2000)

    Killjoy (2000)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]Under Full Moon Features, Charles Band had created various sub-labels that would appeal to a specific audience. There was Moonbean Entertainment for kids, Torchlight for fans of softcore erotica, and Monster Island Entertainment for the kaiju fans. In 1999, Band joined actor/producer Mel Johnson Jr. to create Alchemy Entertainment, later changed to Big City Entertainment. The label was geared towards “urban sci-fi, fantasy & horror,” essentially genre films aimed at a black audience. The first two films under this sub-label, Ragdoll and The Horrible Dr. Bones, were made by Subspecies director Ted Nicolaou. Around this time, a young filmmaker named Craig Ross Jr. wrote to Full Moon looking for work. After much persistence, Charles Band met with Ross and pitched him an idea for a killer clown movie. Ross was sold on the pitch, and said killer clown movie became the 2000 direct-to-video effort, Killjoy.

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    Synopsis

    Young and nerdy Michael (Jamal Grimes) is in love with Jada (Vera Yell), so he tries asking her out. Unfortunately, her thug boyfriend Lorenzo (William L. Johnson) and his lackeys T-Bone (Corey Hampton) and Baby Boy (Rani Goulant) arrive. They beat the hell out of Michael and threaten to do worse if he so much as thinks about Jada. That night, Michael uses some black magic to try summoning a clown demon known as Killjoy, only to get shot. Jada has left Lorenzo for Jamal (Lee Marks) one year later, though she’s struggling with her guilt over Michael. Meanwhile, Lorenzo visits his new squeeze Kahara (Napiera Groves), leaving T-Bone and Baby Boy alone to get high. Little do they know that the clown demon Killjoy (Ángel Vargas) has arrived to exact revenge on Michael’s behalf. The circus is in town, and it’s going to be one hell of a show!

     

    Review

    Killjoy isn’t precisely what I’d call a great start compared to other Full Moon franchises, but it’s not all bad. Much like Trancers 6, this one does its best with its low budget, but it doesn’t have the baggage. This one doesn’t have to go up against several past films that had substantially higher budgets or more talented people. That said, this one feels like early 2000s Full Moon: shot on video, lackluster effects, and subpar acting. However, what makes this film easier to watch is primarily Ángel Vargas’ performance as the titular psychotic clown demon. He’s having fun cackling like a maniac and spouting off some of the cheesiest one-liners you’ll ever hear. Not to mention, he’s got a unique look that makes him stand out from other killer clowns. He doesn’t quite match up to Radu, Blade, or Jack Deth, but he’s certainly memorable.

    Given the low budget and short schedule he had to work with, Craig Ross Jr. makes the most of it. He shoots the film competently enough, employing some colored lighting here and there, as well as the occasional dutch angle. One thing you’ll notice is the overuse of stock sound effects, mainly whenever someone opens the ice cream truck doors. Even a few stock scream sounds are used in one scene, though surprisingly, there’s no Wilhelm scream used. Aside from Vargas, the rest of the acting is pretty stale, almost on par with most softcore pornos on Cinemax. It’s pretty funny seeing Jamal Grimes, who clearly has defined muscles, being a nerd just by wearing glasses. What also helps is that the film’s only 72 minutes long, so while it’s not good, it’s at least short. Overall, Killjoy isn’t anything special, but it’s worth a watch, especially with some drinks.

     

    Buy Killjoy from:

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Igor and the Lunatics (1985)

    Igor and the Lunatics (1985)

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    In addition to producing their brand of schlock, Troma Entertainment has picked up several titles to distribute. Admittedly, most of them can be complete dreck, but every so often, you’ll find something like Cannibal! The Musical. For every classic like The Toxic Avenger and Class of Nuke ‘Em High, you’ll get trash like Deadly Daphne’s Revenge. Quality aside, Troma wants to encourage young, independent filmmakers to get their movies out there for the world to see. While you may not be financially successful right away, your film will eventually find its audience, which is more important. That said, Troma will sometimes pick up a movie for distribution to have a product to push out. Often, this can lead to Troma putting out just pure garbage that even they come to regret later on. Such is the case with the forgotten 1985 film Igor and the Lunatics.

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    Synopsis

    In the 1960s, Paul Byron (T.J. Glenn) led a hippie cult that worshiped him among men. However, one of its members, Jimmy (Christopher Chandley), wants out because he witnessed them committing terrible acts of murder. While Paul is locked away in prison for several murders, he’s freed after 16 years and is looking for revenge. He reunites with his old lackey Igor (Joe Niola) to search for a child Paul believes is his. Said child is found by Jimmy’s wife, Mary-Ann (Mary Ann Schacht), making it more personal for Paul. Meanwhile, a Native American man named Hawk (Peter Dain) is trying to protect the child since he helped raise him. Soon, all the groups come together to fight to the death to either reclaim or protect the child. It’s an all-out rampage headlined by Igor and the Lunatics!

     

    Review

    As of writing this review, I’ve done the Troma Tuesdays series for almost a year now. In that time, I’ve reviewed some genuinely Troma-rific classics, but I’ve also seen my fair share of dreck. Unfortunately, Igor and the Lunatics is probably the worst Troma movie I’ve reviewed so far, and that’s saying something. I had to look up several other reviews to remember what exactly happened because I forgot just about everything. I could go on about the shoddy production value, the questionable acting, and the weird pacing issues. However, despite all of that, this film commits the ultimate sin a film could commit: it’s boring. The opening scene offers some nudity and blood, and there are a few other scenes like that. Unfortunately, for those ten minutes, you have to sit through an hour and twelve minutes of nothing!

    When you look up the cast for this, you’ll find that most of them never worked on anything else. In fact, the film’s director didn’t make another film for almost twenty years and hasn’t made one since 2011. Considering how little information there is on the production, I almost wonder what happened to these people. Its production history would probably be much more interesting than the film itself, but we may never know. If there are any positives, I will say that some of the gore effects are actually pretty good. Some highlights include a girl getting sawed in half and a guy getting a machete to the face. Also, while I panned this movie for its shoddy production values, some scenes have a nice gritty quality. This one might be good for a few drunken laughs, but overall, Igor and the Lunatics is not worth watching.

     

    Buy Igor and the Lunatics from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3AluZw7.

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  • Don’t Go in the Woods (1981)

    Don’t Go in the Woods (1981)

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    As mentioned in previous reviews, numerous studios were trying to capitalize on the slasher boom of 1981. For every polished effort from a major like Paramount or MGM, you also had a low-budget quickie. Enter James Bryan, a Texas-born filmmaker who started making soft-core films like Escape to Passion and The Dirtiest Game. After filming 1977’s Boogie Vision, Bryan decided to make a horror film set in the Rocky Mountains for his next project. With a budget of $150,000, they shot the movie in the summer of 1980 in the Sierra Mountains. While they filmed most of the death scenes on the weekends, the scenes with the main cast took ten days. Though the original script was titled Sierra, the distributor Seymour Borde & Associates wanted to change the title. The film was given a limited release in November 1981 as Don’t Go in the Woods!

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    Synopsis

    Friends Peter (Jack McClelland), Joanne (Angie Brown), Ingrid (Mary Gail Artz), and Craig (James P. Hayden) decide to go camping. As they’re trekking through the woods, they’re unaware that there’s a maniac (Tom Drury) running around killing random people. His victims include honeymooners Dick (Frank Millen) and Cherry (Carolyn Braza), an artist, some campers, and a fisherman. Unfortunately, Peter witnesses the fisherman getting killed, so the maniac chases him, killing Craig in the process. Joanne gets killed as well, though Peter and Ingrid barely manage to escape from the maniac. They make their way to a nearby town and alert the Sheriff (Ken Carter) about the situation. While Ingrid recovers in the hospital, a grief-stricken Peter decides to return to the woods and go after the maniac. There’s a good reason why people try telling you don’t go in the woods….alone!

     

    Review

    Honestly, it’s challenging to review Don’t Go in the Woods, as it’s objectively terrible, but the filmmaker might’ve intended it. Given the movie’s box cover, you would think this will be some sort of blood-drenched forest slasher. While there’s plenty of blood to be had, the film has a weirdly goofy tone throughout, exemplified by the music. James Bryan was trying to go for a horror-comedy, but it has more unintentional laughs than intentional ones. Most of the cast would later work behind the scenes, and you can see why since they’re all terrible. Everyone’s delivery is flat, no one has any natural chemistry with each other, and they come off as bland. I’d say the only actor who does a halfway decent job is Tom Drury, whose dialogue mainly consists of grunts. At least he has a unique look as a sort of forest-dwelling hobo with a jingle stick.

    It’s hard to judge the filmmaking on display considering how low the budget was, but even still, it’s not good. The editing feels choppy; characters are randomly thrown in and killed almost immediately, and nothing makes sense. We’re not told who the killer is, their motivation, or how the main characters know each other. While Halloween didn’t give Michael Myers any motivation, we at least knew his history and understood why he’s dangerous. Though giving too much backstory can lessen a killer’s impact, no information makes it hard to care about them. One positive I can give this movie is that there are some pretty bloody death sequences. Even with its 82-minute runtime, there are tons of dead spots that makes this a rough sit. Overall, hardcore slasher fans might find something worthwhile, but Don’t Go in the Woods is a trip not worth taking.

     

    Buy Don’t Go in the Woods from Amazon: https://amzn.to/2WyvDrl.

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  • Walking the Edge (1985)

    Walking the Edge (1985)

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    While producing their own genre films, Empire Pictures also distributed various films that weren’t in-house or within their wheelhouse. The thought process was that of all the films they’d pick up for distribution, hopefully, one would be a hit. Enter Norbert Meisel, a character actor who starred in TV shows like Combat!, The Rat Patrol, and Mission: Impossible. In the ’70s, Meisel transitioned to directing adult films including The Adulteress, Mafia Girls, and Dreams of Desire. In 1976, Meisel married Asian actress Nancy Kwan, who was one of the most iconic Asian actresses in the ’60s. The two collaborated on 1981’s Dreams of Desire before moving onto an action-thriller with Kwan in a starring role. While the film was produced in 1982, it wasn’t released until it was sold to Empire Pictures in 1985. On January 11, 1985, Walking the Edge was finally released to theaters.

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    Synopsis

    After her family is killed by crime boss Brusstar (Joe Spinell), Christine Holloway (Nancy Kwan) manages to escape. Meanwhile, things aren’t going well for Jason Walk (Robert Forster), a taxi driver and numbers runner, who’s been screwed over. His so-called friends belittle him, he gets cheated out of his money, and he catches his girlfriend cheating on him. While on the job, Jason picks up Christine, who uses him to find the gang responsible for killing her family. After surviving a gunfight with Brusstar and his gang, Jason ends up getting roped into Christine’s revenge quest. Jason decides to have Christine stay at his place as he sets out to finish the job. Having been pushed around and stepped on, Jason finally has the opportunity to strike back and rise to the occasion. It’s a fight for survival as our hero is walking the edge!

     

    Review

    Walking the Edge is an oddity compared to many other films from Empire Pictures like Re-Animator, TerrorVision, and Troll. While their usual output had some fantastical elements, this one is more of a gritty, realistic revenge thriller. Much like The Caller, this is another film from the Empire library that deserves more attention than it gets. Though it’s set in Los Angeles, it has the grit and grime of New York sleaze flicks like The Exterminator. Robert Forster makes for a solid lead, perfectly playing an unlikely hero with many flaws that he has to overcome. He feels like a precursor to Bruce Willis in Die Hard, only a little more broken in some ways. With his disheveled hair, sweat pants, and frumpy build, Forster’s transformation in the second half feels all the more satisfying. He also has one of the film’s best and most quotable lines.

    Nancy Kwan does a great job as the housewife turned vigilante, and she has solid chemistry with Forster. As always, Joe Spinell makes for a menacing villain, having a very cool demeanor while having some outbursting moments. The score by Jay Chattaway (Star Trek: The Next Generation) is instantly catchy with that ’80s synth style. Admittedly, one problem with the film is how it starts as a female Death Wish before Forster takes over. The way it starts, you think the focus is going to be on Nancy Kwan, but that’s not quite true. About halfway through, Forster takes the reigns and it becomes his movie, Kwan being absent for much of the runtime. Even if its plot is somewhat disjointed, this is still an underrated revenge thriller that more people should check out. Overall, Walking the Edge is a solidly entertaining hidden gem in the Empire Pictures library.

     

    Buy Walking the Edge from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3jeNPxQ

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