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Category: Horror

  • Screamplay (1985)

    Screamplay (1985)

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    Rufus Butler Seder had an affinity for films from an early age, thanks in part to his father. He studied at the American Film Institute and received tons of acclaim for his experimental short films. At some point, Seder wanted to make a biopic about Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla, but that never happened. With no projects lined up, Seder dug up an old script he had written in the late 1970s. The screenplay took inspiration from his experiences in Hollywood, especially some odd neighbors he had in his apartment complex. On a budget of roughly $50,000, Seder set up the Boston Black and White Movie Company to work on this. He and his team did almost all of the in-camera effects, including front projection and forced perspective. Though New Line Cinema showed interest, Troma ultimately acquired the rights and released the film in 1985 as Screamplay.

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    Synopsis

    Struggling writer Edgar Allen (Rufus Butler Seder) moves to Hollywood with dreams to make a name for himself. Unfortunately, Edgar gets mugged on his first day in Tinseltown, and a stranger kills the mugger right after. The killer is Martin (George Kuchar), a sleazy landlord who hires Edgar as a custodian if he keeps silent. Edgar spends his nights writing murder stories in his spare time, many inspired by what happens around him. His neighbors include aging actress Nina Ray (Linda Robinson), prophet/rocker Lot (Bob White), and aspiring actress Holly (Katy Bolger). Before long, people start dying in ways that are eerily similar to the scenarios Edgar writes, which raises suspicion. Officers Tony Cassano (Basil J. Bova) and Joe Blatz (George Cordeiro) are investigating, and all signs point to Edgar. Has the struggling writer finally lost it, or is there someone else responsible?

     

    Review

    Screamplay is one of those films where the people behind it are wearing their influences on their sleeves. They drive this further by showing clips from NosferatuThe Golem, and Cabinet of Dr. Caligari so that you know. Thankfully, the filmmakers use their influences to tell a creative and unique story rather than just recycling something similar. Rufus Butler Seder gives a wonderfully exaggerated performance as struggling screenwriter Edgar Allen, who can be both likable and creepy. Whenever we see him going mad, his manic expressions remind me of silent actors like Lon Chaney and Conrad Veidt. The film was shot entirely in black and white that both pays tribute and adds a sense of dread. The film sometimes feels like a nightmare come to life with all the twisted shadows and warped perspective. For such a small budget, they were able to pull off quite a bit.

    What also helps this stand out are all the side characters, each just as memorable and weird as Edgar. You’ve got the washed-up B-movie actress trying to cling onto whatever youth she has left by constantly making herself up. Then there’s Lot, a stoned-out rockstar who prophesies about the evils of Hollywood and partakes in some holistic remedies. Even the seemingly pure and innocent Holly has her quirks, namely that she’ll do anything to be an actress. Of course, there’s plenty of over-the-top deaths and even some nudity, but it’s all reasonably tame even by Troma standards. This movie is more psychological, so people expecting an all-out gore and tit fest might be disappointed. However, if you consider yourself a Troma fan, you really should give this sadly forgotten shocker a chance. Overall, Screamplay is both a loving homage to Old Hollywood but also a wonderfully grim and dark thriller.

     

    Buy Screamplay from Amazon: https://amzn.to/2XW0DCf.

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  • Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)

    Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)

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    Around 2002, aspiring filmmaker Daniel Bova submitted a spec script to Troma Entertainment for consideration, which saw various re-writes. Gabriel Friedman, a long-time editor for Troma, completed a final draft in 2004 under Poultrygeist: Attack of the Chicken Zombies. After failing to acquire funding, Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz had to pay out of pocket for the film’s budget. With a budget of roughly $500,000, Troma managed to acquire hundreds of volunteer crew over the internet. Filming primarily took place at an abandoned McDonald’s in Buffalo, NY, with additional filming in a local church. Unfortunately, like any Troma film, this one was plagued with production problems, including pay disputes and malfunctioning special effects. Despite all the issues, filming wrapped in August of 2005, and the film premiered in New York the following year. It wouldn’t be until 2007 that Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead would see a limited release.

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    Synopsis

    While Arbie (Jason Yachanin) has to stay behind for his family, his girlfriend Wendy (Kate Graham) is bound for college. They’re reunited one college semester later, except it turns out Wendy is now dating Micki (Allyson Sereboff). The two of them are protesting against the American Chicken Bunker, a fast food restaurant built on an Indian graveyard. To get back at Wendy, Arbie decides to get a job at ACB and meets the manager Denny (Joshua Olatunde). Unbeknownst to the staff, the spirits of the chickens and Native Americans are seeking revenge against their oppressors. General Lee Roy (Robin L. Watkins) tries quelling the protestors, but Native American chicken zombies soon invade the restaurant. As our heroes scramble for survival, Arbie and Wendy manage to rekindle their romance and grow as people. But will they survive, or will they be the next meal for these flesh-eating fowl fiends?

     

    Review

    Troma is known for making wildly crazy movies, but Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead might be their craziest yet. Honestly, even just describing some of the insanity packed into this film would be doing it a disservice. While many films have at least one memorable moment, they pack tons of special moments into their runtime. Every scene stands out, from an overweight man coating a bathroom in diarrhea to a guy becoming a sandwich. There is an overabundance of bodily fluids everywhere in typical Troma fashion, including blood, shit, slime, and everything in between. Also, in the spirit of Troma, there’s some great social commentary about the fast-food industry and corporate greed. Admittedly, there’s some dated humor straight out of the mid-2000s, but those moments are few and far between. If nothing else, this movie will make you think twice about going out to order some fast food.

    The cast all play their parts in an exaggerated way that’s funny and genuine without being obnoxious. Jason Yachanin is loveable as the dopey-eyed guy working to win his girl back while trying to survive this situation. Kate Graham has terrific chemistry with Jason, and she’s also sweet as the naive girl wanting to make a difference. Each ACB staff member stands out, including the flamboyant Paco Bell, the Islamic stereotype Hummus, and the hillbilly Carl Jr. Even though he’s pretty much the stereotypical corporate villain, Robin L. Watkins is charming as the enigmatic General. Plus, there are some appearances from Troma veterans Joe Fleishaker, Ron Jeremy, and Debbie Rochon. The film has musical numbers, and while some are better than others, they add to the film’s campy charm. Overall, Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead may not be for everyone, but it’s a must for horror-comedy fans.

    One final note: if you decide to watch this, consider also watching the documentary Poultry in Motion. It’s easily one of the best behind-the-scenes documentaries you’ll ever see, and it’s worth a watch all on its own.

     

    Buy Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3E7YAvI.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at no additional cost, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and make a purchase.

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    Where to watch Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)

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  • Redneck Zombies (1989)

    Redneck Zombies (1989)

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    Having grown up in the Baltimore area, Pericles Lewnes knew that he always wanted to be a filmmaker. With his friends Ed Bishop and Bill Decker, he decided to work on something that could be gory and slapstick. They came up with the title Redneck Zombies, and from there, started brainstorming various ideas for gags and gore effects. Working on a very shoestring budget, they said that the film should play more like a parody than something serious. Towards the end of filming, Lewnes saw The Toxic Avenger at a local theater and fell in love with Troma. He took the film to Troma and made a distribution deal, which led to Lewnes working for the company. Lewnes got to work on Troma’s WarThe Toxic Avenger Parts 2 & 3, and Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. Finally, in early 1989, Lewnes’ Redneck Zombies was released to video store shelves.

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    Synopsis

    While driving through the backwoods, a soldier named Tyrone Robinson (Tyrone Taylor) accidentally loses a barrel of toxic waste. A family of moonshiners, the Clemsons, finds the barrel and decides to use it for their still. Meanwhile, some young people are hiking through the woods for a camping trip led by Wilbur (James H. Housely). One night, the young people get high on weed while the local rednecks drink the radioactive moonshine the Clemsons made. Unfortunately, the following day, the rednecks who drank the moonshine have turned into flesh-eating zombies wandering through the woods. As the zombies tear their way through the area, the remaining campers, including Lisa Dubois (Lisa M. DeHaven), try surviving. The drugged-out Bob (Anthony Burlington-Smith) discovers that deodorant kills the zombies, but will that be enough to stop them? It’s a good old-fashioned hoedown of horror as our heroes try surviving the Redneck Zombies!

     

    Review

    Redneck Zombies is one of those movies that you should go into with shallow expectations before watching it. With a title like that, you really shouldn’t go into this thinking it’s going to be a terrifying zombie film. This film has its tongue planted firmly in its cheek and wants you to laugh along with it. There are plenty of over-the-top performances, a ridiculous story, and tons of gore like any good Troma movie. On that note, the gore effects are surprisingly decent given the meager budget they had on hand. Admittedly, the make-up effects are pretty cheesy, but the filmmakers were fully aware and are rolling with it. Seeing many people with black eye makeup and putty-covered faces stumbling around has a charming quality to it. As goofy as most of the film is, there are some genuinely sickening scenes in the last few minutes. It’s a mixed bag.

    Given that the filmmakers were trying to make a fun, cheesy monster movie, it seems pointless to critique this seriously. For instance, the movie was shot on video instead of on film since it’s much cheaper than using film. Also, don’t expect deep characterization or a richly compelling story since the filmmakers weren’t concerned about that. Still, there are tons of filler scenes, and several of the jokes don’t land quite as well as they hoped. Plus, some of the more exaggerated performances can get grating at times, but it seems intentional given their ultimate fate. Thankfully, at just slightly under 90 minutes in length, the movie won’t take up too much of your time. If you’re looking for a fun bad movie to watch with some friends and some drinks, look no further. Overall, Redneck Zombies is no Night of the Living Dead, but it doesn’t have to be.

     

    Buy Redneck Zombies from Amazon: https://amzn.to/2UKMOW8.

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  • Crash! (1976)

    Crash! (1976)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]In the 1970s, there was a sort of mini-trend of car movies, usually involving various stunts and wrecks. This decade saw the likes of films including Dirty Mary Crazy LarryThe Gumball Rally, and Smokey and the Bandit. One prominent director who made these car movies was Steven Spielberg, whose early works included Duel and The Sugarland Express. In 1977, Universal planned to release The Car, which would’ve added a supernatural element to the car movie. After producing Mansion of the Doomed, the distributors asked Charles Band to make a similarly themed car movie. Charlie wound up directing this as his second feature, his first being the lost 1973 spoof Last Foxtrot in Burbank. The plan was to shoot this film over the weekends and get it released to theaters before Universal’s movie. In the end, the finished movie hit theaters in late 1976/early 1977 as Crash!

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    Synopsis

    Young Kim Denne (Sue Lyons) purchases a strange-looking idol from a vendor at a flea market before returning home. She’s married to the older Marc Denne (Jose Ferrer), who was in a horrific car accident that left him paralyzed. Marc resents that Kim can walk around fine despite the accident as he constantly treats her like dirt. After she goes for a drive, he sends his trained Doberman to follow and attack her, causing her to crash. Thankfully, Kim survives the crash and wakes up in the hospital, where she’s cared for by Dr. Martin (John Ericson). Unfortunately, Kim has lost her memory, yet she still holds onto the idol as if she’s always had it. At the same time, a mysterious black car is going around killing people and causing car crashes. It turns out the idol is using Kim to control this demon car to exact her revenge!

     

    Review

    Crash! is a film that could only have come out in the drive-in era of the 1970s. You’ve got a completely nonsensical plot whose sole purpose is to try connecting tons of car crashes together. Also, there are tons and tons of real cars crashing into each other for real with real explosions. Keep in mind that this was pre-CGI and made on a low budget, so the stuntwork is pretty impressive. Interestingly enough, one of the film’s cinematographers was Andrew Davis, who went on to direct The Fugitive and Under Siege. The music from composer Andrew Belling also helps this stand out, with a very 70s funk sound. He’d later compose the music for End of the World and Fairy Tales before Richard Band became the go-to guy. Speaking of the Bands, both Richard and Charlie have minor cameo appearances in the film.

    The film has quite an interesting cast, including Sue Lyon (Lolita), Jose Ferrer (Cyrano de Bergerac), and even John Carradine. Admittedly, Carradine only has a few minutes of screentime since he filmed his scenes over a weekend. Lyon makes the best of the albeit light material she’s given and comes off creepy in some moments. Ferrer is fine as the conniving husband, even though it feels like he’s just waiting for his paycheck to clear. Also, John Ericson comes off a little bland as the compassionate doctor trying to help Kim regain her memories. Like many of Charles Band’s early work, this one does suffer from having too much padding, even at 90 minutes. Still, this provides plenty of B-movie thrills, and the car stunts do steal the show, so there is that. Overall, Crash! is that particular kind of schlock that could only come from the 1970s.

     

    Buy Crash! from:

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

    Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

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    With a budget of $550,000, Friday the 13th was a massive commercial hit, grossing close to $60 million worldwide. While critics largely derided the film, Paramount still wanted to move ahead with a sequel. Originally envisioned as an anthology series, the producers wanted the focus to be Pamela Voorhees’s’ son, Jason. Director Sean S. Cunningham disagreed with the new direction, so he was replaced by the original’s associate producer Steve Miner. Tom Savini couldn’t return to do the effects because of prior commitments, but he has his disagreements. Miner used most of the same crew and had a $1.25 million budget, more than double the original. Filming lasted from October to November 1980, primarily in New Preston and Kent, CT, with a mostly new cast. After some troubles with the MPAA, Friday the 13th Part 2 was released on May 1, 1981.

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    Synopsis

    Five years after the last film, a new camp has opened up for CITs or Counselors In Training. Said camp is run by Paul Holt (John Furey) and located near the remains of Camp Crystal Lake. Two of the CITs, Jeff Dunsberry (Bill Randolph) and Sandra Dier (Marta Kober), decide to sneak off to Crystal Lake. They’re taken back to their camp by Deputy Winslow (Jack Marks) and are chewed out by Paul that night. Jeff and Sandra, along with some of the other counselors, have to stay behind while the others go out drinking. While Paul and his assistant Ginny Field (Amy Steel) are out, the other counselors have to hold down the fort. Little do they know that a masked killer is lurking about, and they pick off the CITs one by one. It turns out this masked killer is none other than Pamela Voorhees’s son, Jason!

     

    Review

    Friday the 13th Part 2 is almost exactly like the original, which is both good and bad. On the one hand, it’s more of what made the first film work so well, which is a safe bet. On the other hand, it doesn’t do much to differentiate itself to make it stand independently as its own thing. That said, that doesn’t necessarily mean this is a poor entry or has nothing to offer. For one, it was pretty shocking to see the survivor from the first film get killed at the beginning. Also, the film does build up plenty of suspense since you’re unsure if the killer is Jason or not. While he would get the iconic hockey, I think the bag with the one-eye hole is creepier. Combined with the overalls and plaid shirt, it gives Jason more of a reclusive look.

    Though there isn’t anyone nearly as recognizable as Kevin Bacon, the cast still does a solid job. Amy Steel makes for a likable lead, and she has great chemistry with John Furey. When she has to stand toe-to-toe with Jason, she manages to hold her own and kick some ass. While lacking Savini’s effects, future Oscar nominee Carl Fullerton’s work is top-notch, especially when it comes to Jason’s look. You can see glimpses of Savini’s design, but Fullerton manages to make it look realistically older and lived-in. Of course, you need some creative kills to make a good slasher, and this one’s got some memorable kills. Most notably, there’s the couple who gets speared in bed and the wheelchair jock taking a machete to the face. Overall, while not as good as the original, Friday the 13th Part 2 is a solid slasher sequel.

     

    Buy Friday the 13th Part 2 from Amazon: https://amzn.to/4c3mMD1.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at no additional cost, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and make a purchase.

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    Where to watch Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

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  • Killjoy (2000)

    Killjoy (2000)

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]Under Full Moon Features, Charles Band had created various sub-labels that would appeal to a specific audience. There was Moonbean Entertainment for kids, Torchlight for fans of softcore erotica, and Monster Island Entertainment for the kaiju fans. In 1999, Band joined actor/producer Mel Johnson Jr. to create Alchemy Entertainment, later changed to Big City Entertainment. The label was geared towards “urban sci-fi, fantasy & horror,” essentially genre films aimed at a black audience. The first two films under this sub-label, Ragdoll and The Horrible Dr. Bones, were made by Subspecies director Ted Nicolaou. Around this time, a young filmmaker named Craig Ross Jr. wrote to Full Moon looking for work. After much persistence, Charles Band met with Ross and pitched him an idea for a killer clown movie. Ross was sold on the pitch, and said killer clown movie became the 2000 direct-to-video effort, Killjoy.

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    Synopsis

    Young and nerdy Michael (Jamal Grimes) is in love with Jada (Vera Yell), so he tries asking her out. Unfortunately, her thug boyfriend Lorenzo (William L. Johnson) and his lackeys T-Bone (Corey Hampton) and Baby Boy (Rani Goulant) arrive. They beat the hell out of Michael and threaten to do worse if he so much as thinks about Jada. That night, Michael uses some black magic to try summoning a clown demon known as Killjoy, only to get shot. Jada has left Lorenzo for Jamal (Lee Marks) one year later, though she’s struggling with her guilt over Michael. Meanwhile, Lorenzo visits his new squeeze Kahara (Napiera Groves), leaving T-Bone and Baby Boy alone to get high. Little do they know that the clown demon Killjoy (Ángel Vargas) has arrived to exact revenge on Michael’s behalf. The circus is in town, and it’s going to be one hell of a show!

     

    Review

    Killjoy isn’t precisely what I’d call a great start compared to other Full Moon franchises, but it’s not all bad. Much like Trancers 6, this one does its best with its low budget, but it doesn’t have the baggage. This one doesn’t have to go up against several past films that had substantially higher budgets or more talented people. That said, this one feels like early 2000s Full Moon: shot on video, lackluster effects, and subpar acting. However, what makes this film easier to watch is primarily Ángel Vargas’ performance as the titular psychotic clown demon. He’s having fun cackling like a maniac and spouting off some of the cheesiest one-liners you’ll ever hear. Not to mention, he’s got a unique look that makes him stand out from other killer clowns. He doesn’t quite match up to Radu, Blade, or Jack Deth, but he’s certainly memorable.

    Given the low budget and short schedule he had to work with, Craig Ross Jr. makes the most of it. He shoots the film competently enough, employing some colored lighting here and there, as well as the occasional dutch angle. One thing you’ll notice is the overuse of stock sound effects, mainly whenever someone opens the ice cream truck doors. Even a few stock scream sounds are used in one scene, though surprisingly, there’s no Wilhelm scream used. Aside from Vargas, the rest of the acting is pretty stale, almost on par with most softcore pornos on Cinemax. It’s pretty funny seeing Jamal Grimes, who clearly has defined muscles, being a nerd just by wearing glasses. What also helps is that the film’s only 72 minutes long, so while it’s not good, it’s at least short. Overall, Killjoy isn’t anything special, but it’s worth a watch, especially with some drinks.

     

    Buy Killjoy from:

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Igor and the Lunatics (1985)

    Igor and the Lunatics (1985)

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    In addition to producing their brand of schlock, Troma Entertainment has picked up several titles to distribute. Admittedly, most of them can be complete dreck, but every so often, you’ll find something like Cannibal! The Musical. For every classic like The Toxic Avenger and Class of Nuke ‘Em High, you’ll get trash like Deadly Daphne’s Revenge. Quality aside, Troma wants to encourage young, independent filmmakers to get their movies out there for the world to see. While you may not be financially successful right away, your film will eventually find its audience, which is more important. That said, Troma will sometimes pick up a movie for distribution to have a product to push out. Often, this can lead to Troma putting out just pure garbage that even they come to regret later on. Such is the case with the forgotten 1985 film Igor and the Lunatics.

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    Synopsis

    In the 1960s, Paul Byron (T.J. Glenn) led a hippie cult that worshiped him among men. However, one of its members, Jimmy (Christopher Chandley), wants out because he witnessed them committing terrible acts of murder. While Paul is locked away in prison for several murders, he’s freed after 16 years and is looking for revenge. He reunites with his old lackey Igor (Joe Niola) to search for a child Paul believes is his. Said child is found by Jimmy’s wife, Mary-Ann (Mary Ann Schacht), making it more personal for Paul. Meanwhile, a Native American man named Hawk (Peter Dain) is trying to protect the child since he helped raise him. Soon, all the groups come together to fight to the death to either reclaim or protect the child. It’s an all-out rampage headlined by Igor and the Lunatics!

     

    Review

    As of writing this review, I’ve done the Troma Tuesdays series for almost a year now. In that time, I’ve reviewed some genuinely Troma-rific classics, but I’ve also seen my fair share of dreck. Unfortunately, Igor and the Lunatics is probably the worst Troma movie I’ve reviewed so far, and that’s saying something. I had to look up several other reviews to remember what exactly happened because I forgot just about everything. I could go on about the shoddy production value, the questionable acting, and the weird pacing issues. However, despite all of that, this film commits the ultimate sin a film could commit: it’s boring. The opening scene offers some nudity and blood, and there are a few other scenes like that. Unfortunately, for those ten minutes, you have to sit through an hour and twelve minutes of nothing!

    When you look up the cast for this, you’ll find that most of them never worked on anything else. In fact, the film’s director didn’t make another film for almost twenty years and hasn’t made one since 2011. Considering how little information there is on the production, I almost wonder what happened to these people. Its production history would probably be much more interesting than the film itself, but we may never know. If there are any positives, I will say that some of the gore effects are actually pretty good. Some highlights include a girl getting sawed in half and a guy getting a machete to the face. Also, while I panned this movie for its shoddy production values, some scenes have a nice gritty quality. This one might be good for a few drunken laughs, but overall, Igor and the Lunatics is not worth watching.

     

    Buy Igor and the Lunatics from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3AluZw7.

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  • Don’t Go in the Woods (1981)

    Don’t Go in the Woods (1981)

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    As mentioned in previous reviews, numerous studios were trying to capitalize on the slasher boom of 1981. For every polished effort from a major like Paramount or MGM, you also had a low-budget quickie. Enter James Bryan, a Texas-born filmmaker who started making soft-core films like Escape to Passion and The Dirtiest Game. After filming 1977’s Boogie Vision, Bryan decided to make a horror film set in the Rocky Mountains for his next project. With a budget of $150,000, they shot the movie in the summer of 1980 in the Sierra Mountains. While they filmed most of the death scenes on the weekends, the scenes with the main cast took ten days. Though the original script was titled Sierra, the distributor Seymour Borde & Associates wanted to change the title. The film was given a limited release in November 1981 as Don’t Go in the Woods!

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    Synopsis

    Friends Peter (Jack McClelland), Joanne (Angie Brown), Ingrid (Mary Gail Artz), and Craig (James P. Hayden) decide to go camping. As they’re trekking through the woods, they’re unaware that there’s a maniac (Tom Drury) running around killing random people. His victims include honeymooners Dick (Frank Millen) and Cherry (Carolyn Braza), an artist, some campers, and a fisherman. Unfortunately, Peter witnesses the fisherman getting killed, so the maniac chases him, killing Craig in the process. Joanne gets killed as well, though Peter and Ingrid barely manage to escape from the maniac. They make their way to a nearby town and alert the Sheriff (Ken Carter) about the situation. While Ingrid recovers in the hospital, a grief-stricken Peter decides to return to the woods and go after the maniac. There’s a good reason why people try telling you don’t go in the woods….alone!

     

    Review

    Honestly, it’s challenging to review Don’t Go in the Woods, as it’s objectively terrible, but the filmmaker might’ve intended it. Given the movie’s box cover, you would think this will be some sort of blood-drenched forest slasher. While there’s plenty of blood to be had, the film has a weirdly goofy tone throughout, exemplified by the music. James Bryan was trying to go for a horror-comedy, but it has more unintentional laughs than intentional ones. Most of the cast would later work behind the scenes, and you can see why since they’re all terrible. Everyone’s delivery is flat, no one has any natural chemistry with each other, and they come off as bland. I’d say the only actor who does a halfway decent job is Tom Drury, whose dialogue mainly consists of grunts. At least he has a unique look as a sort of forest-dwelling hobo with a jingle stick.

    It’s hard to judge the filmmaking on display considering how low the budget was, but even still, it’s not good. The editing feels choppy; characters are randomly thrown in and killed almost immediately, and nothing makes sense. We’re not told who the killer is, their motivation, or how the main characters know each other. While Halloween didn’t give Michael Myers any motivation, we at least knew his history and understood why he’s dangerous. Though giving too much backstory can lessen a killer’s impact, no information makes it hard to care about them. One positive I can give this movie is that there are some pretty bloody death sequences. Even with its 82-minute runtime, there are tons of dead spots that makes this a rough sit. Overall, hardcore slasher fans might find something worthwhile, but Don’t Go in the Woods is a trip not worth taking.

     

    Buy Don’t Go in the Woods from Amazon: https://amzn.to/2WyvDrl.

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  • Absurd (1981)

    Absurd (1981)

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    Following the release of Antropophagus, director Joe D’Amato wanted to make a sequel, but writer/star George Eastman opposed it. He felt that given how the film ended, it wouldn’t make sense to do a sequel, but D’Amato wanted it. Eastman agreed to star and write after the original treatment was considered lackluster, taking some inspiration from Halloween. D’Amato shot the film in English and set it in the States to try and appeal to the US market. In addition to Eastman, English actor Edmund Purdom, best known for starring in 1954’s The Egyptian, was cast opposite him. The film was shot quickly in May 1981 and rushed out to meet a theatrical release that year. Like many Italian exploitation films, this one had numerous alternate titles, including Horrible, Antropophagus 2, and Zombie 6: Monster Hunter. However, its most widely known title is simply Absurd.

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    Synopsis

    After being subjected to church-sanctioned experiments that drove him insane, Mikos Tanoupoulos (George Eastman) is on the run. A Vatican priest (Edmund Purdom) who oversaw the experiments is tracking him down fearful of what he’ll do. Mikos gets impaled and disemboweled, but he’s taken to a hospital and revived before he kills a nurse and escapes. The priest informs Sgt. Engleman (Charles Borromel) that the only way to kill Mikos is to ‘destroy the cerebral mass’. Meanwhile, Ian Bennett (Ian Danby) and his wife Carol (Hanja Kochansky) leave their kids with their babysitter Emily (Annie Belle). Soon enough, Mikos makes his way to the Bennetts’ house and kills their family friend Peggy (Cindy Leadbetter). To make matters worse, their daughter Katya (Katya Berger) is bedridden due to a spinal injury. Will the authorities make it in time, or will Mikos make these children his next victims?

     

    Review

    While clearly an imitation of John Carpenter’s 1978 classic, Absurd is still a solid Italian-made slasher film. The real highlight of the film is George Eastman, who is a beast of a man with some wicked faces. Much like in Antropophagus, Eastman fully embraces the character and makes for a truly terrifying killer, especially with no lines. Even though he’s filling in the Donald Pleasence role, Edmund Purdom brings plenty of class to the production. There are some pretty gruesome kills here, including a drill to the temple and a bandsaw to the crown. Granted, these don’t quite compare to the fetus-eating scene from the previous film, but they’re certainly up there. Also, the filmmakers take full advantage of the nighttime shooting to create a real sense of dread in the proceedings. For as much flack as he gets, D’Amato can be a decent director.

    Admittedly, it’s hard to ignore the similarities between this and Halloween, such as mentioning the Boogeyman and even the music. That said, there are a few differences to help it stand out, so it’s not a complete rip-off. For instance, both the babysitter and the main authority figure are killed, and one of the kids dispatches the killer. Given how quickly this was rushed out, it’s impressive they were able to get a full movie this decent made. While it moves at a decent pace at 96 minutes, there are several dead spots of characters sitting around talking. It doesn’t help that there are some really annoying kid characters, most especially Willy, who acts like an obnoxious brat. Even if it’s not as slickly made as its American counterparts, this is still a decent watch for horror fans. Overall, Absurd is a good alternative to more conventional early 80s shockers.

     

    Buy Absurd from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3xhEsmb

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  • Bloody Moon (1981)

    Bloody Moon (1981)

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    Jesús “Jess” Franco was a prolific Spanish filmmaker known for making tons of exploitation films up until his 2013 death. While he had been working in the industry since the 50s, his career soared with 1961’s The Awful Dr. Orloff. He’s probably most well known for 1969’s The Castle of Fu Manchu, which was featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000. The film starred Christopher Lee, who starred in several of Franco’s movies including Count Dracula released the same year. Much like Joe D’Amato, his movies were a mixture of erotic and horror, and they were pretty shameless. With the rise of slasher films in the early 80s, production manager Erich Tomek hired Franco to direct his script. It was basically work-for-hire for Franco, who was upset that he was promised a lot that wasn’t delivered. Franco’s Bloody Moon, also known as The Saw of Death, was released in March 1981.

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    Synopsis

    After killing a young woman, the disfigured Miguel (Alexander Waechter) is institutionalized in a mental asylum for five years. He’s released to the care of his sister Manuela (Nadja Gerganoff), with who he has an incestuous relationship. Manuela runs a boarding school with their Aunt Maria (María Rubio), who believes that she is plotting to kill her. Meanwhile, Angela (Olivia Pascal) arrives to attend classes but is being stalked by Miguel and is scared for her life. Before too long, girls at the school are being killed off one by one by an unknown killer. As the bodies start piling up, Angela wants to leave the school before she’s the next victim. A foreign language teacher, Alvaro (Christoph Moosbrugger), tries consoling Angela, but it turns out there’s something sinister going on. Just who is killing the girls at the school, and what could their motivation be?

     

    Review

    Compared to most other slasher films released around the same time, Bloody Moon stands out in some ways. For one, there are some fantastically gruesome kill scenes, most infamously a decapitation-by-saw scene prominently featured on the poster. There’s also a sequence where a woman is stabbed through her breast, as well as a woman strangled with thongs. While the effects aren’t quite on par with Savini’s work on The Prowler or The Burning, they’re still effective. Also, for a work-for-hire project, Franco manages to inject some style here, using various lighting techniques and camera positioning. The plot mixes in themes of incest, betrayal, secret affairs, and blackmail that add an extra layer of sleaziness. It’s also interesting that they use Miguel as an obvious red herring given that he did kill someone early on. Still, you’d have to be dumb if you didn’t realize that he’s not the main killer.

    Given that this film is entirely dubbed, it’s somewhat difficult to judge the acting without hearing their real voices. Granted, the acting doesn’t really matter in this type of film, suffice it to say the actors do their job. On top of being gorgeous, Olivia Pascal is decent as final girl Angela, even if we don’t really know her. Even if the makeup appliance used for his disfigurement is laughably cheap-looking, Alexander Waechter is pretty creepy as Miguel. Aside from them, most everyone else is just cannon fodder to get picked off by the unseen killer

     

    Buy Bloody Moon from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3C2lGCL

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