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Category: Cult Films

  • Arena (1989)

    Arena (1989)

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    After Trancers and Eliminators became minor hits, Danny Bilson and Paul De Meo were assigned more scripts by Charles Band. One assignment he gave them was a sci-fi wrestling movie with aliens, which the duo wasn’t entirely sold on. They took the job anyway and used 1947’s Body and Soul as a reference for their screenplay. Their original concept was more of a spoof of boxing movies from the time, which didn’t sit well with Band. At some point, the script went through many rewrites after Bilson and De Meo left to work on The Flash. Peter Manoogian, who previously helmed Eliminators and Enemy Territory, was given $2 million to film Empire’s most ambitious film. The movie was shot in the old Dino De Laurentiis studios in Rome and finished in 1988. Unfortunately, due to Empire’s bankruptcy, Arena wouldn’t see a release until 1991.

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    Synopsis

    In the year 4038, on a lone space station, alien races battle in a gladiatorial arena for dominance. The reigning champion is the cyborg Horn (Michael Deak), whose promoter, Rogor (Marc Alaimo), is rigging the fights. After Horn pummels her last fighter, Quinn (Claudia Christian) desperately seeks a new one to take on Rogor’s champion. Enter Steve Armstrong (Paul Satterfield), a young man from Earth who’s a cook working with his friend Shorty (Hamilton Camp). He gets into a fight with one of Quinn’s fighters, and she’s so impressed that she offers him a contract. Steve initially turns it down, but once Shorty receives threats over gambling debts, he agrees and becomes a good fighter. Feeling threatened, Rogor sends his henchmen Weezil (Armin Shimerman) and Skull (William Butler) to sabotage Steve’s fight with Horn. Will Horn defend his title, or will Steve become the new champion of the Arena?

     

    Review

    Arena has the ingredients to make a fun sci-fi movie: likable characters, unique creature designs, and a decent story. Despite this, the film can’t decide whether to take itself seriously or have fun with the premise. This movie is a standard rags-to-riches boxing story, even with its outlandish setting and otherworldly aliens. It’s Rocky in space but without the heart and soul of John G. Avildsen’s original classic. How differently would the movie have played out if they had used Bilson and De Meo’s original script? Unfortunately, what we got was a predictable boxing movie that happens to have a decent setting and unique monsters. That said, you can see the $2 million budget on the screen with the elaborate sets and alien designs. While John Carl Buechler handled much of it, the highlight is Screaming Mad George’s contribution.

    Paul Satterfield makes for a decent leading man, giving the role plenty of charm and charisma to make him endearing. It helps that he looks like a blonde Christopher Reeve, which makes me wonder why he never got bigger. The rest of the cast includes character actors like Hamilton Camp, Claudia Christian, Marc Alaimo, Shari Shattuck, and Armin Shimerman. Most people will recognize them from roles in shows like Babylon 5 and various iterations of Star Trek. They all do a serviceable job, though Hamilton Camp stands out for his goofy charm and comedic timing. Peter Manoogian’s direction is decent, Mac Ahlberg’s cinematography is good as usual, and Richard Band’s score gets the job done. If the film had more camp and didn’t take itself as seriously, this would be an underrated gem in Empire’s catalog. Overall, Arena isn’t terrible, but there are better Empire movies to check out.

     

    Watch Arena on Amazon Prime: https://amzn.to/3YsTgh3.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Curtains (1983)

    Curtains (1983)

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    After producing the hit Prom Night in 1980, Peter Simpson teamed with writer Robert Guza Jr. for a new project. With slasher films continuing to be profitable, Simpson wanted this one to be more adult-oriented for an older audience. He hired cinematographer Richard Ciupka, whose prior credits included Ilsa the Tigress of Siberia and Atlantic City, to direct. They hired John Vernon from Animal House, Samantha Eggar from The Brood, and Lynne Griffin from Black Christmas. Unfortunately, the film was plagued with production issues, mainly from Ciupka and Simpson disagreeing with the tone. Due to these disputes, Ciupka left the project in 1981, having only filmed 45 minutes of material. Simpson finished the film, though Ciupka has his name replaced with “Jonathan Stryker,” a character from the movie. After numerous rewrites and reshoots, Curtains opened regionally in the US in February 1983 before opening nationwide a month later.

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    Synopsis

    To prepare for an upcoming role, actress Samantha Sherwood (Samantha Eggar) feigns mental illness to be committed to an asylum. Unfortunately for Samantha, her director, Jonathan Stryker (John Vernon), plans to audition six girls for her part in her absence. Five actresses arrive, including Patti (Lynne Griffin), Brooke (Linda Thorson), Laurian (Anne Ditchburn), Tara (Sandee Currie), and Christie (Lesleh Donaldson). The sixth, Amanda Teuther (Deborah Burgess), gets killed on her way to the audition at Stryker’s rural New England mansion. However, Samantha shows up unannounced as she has escaped the asylum and plans to get revenge on Stryker. One by one, the girls are attacked by a mysterious sickle-wielding killer, whether in a jacuzzi or on the ice. As the bodies pile, it becomes a whodunit as the girls try to find out who the killer is. They better find out fast, or it’s Curtains for them!

     

    Review

    While not quite a slasher classic on par with Halloween or Friday the 13th, Curtains is nonetheless a fascinating watch. For one, the acting is better than expected from this kind of movie, especially Vernon, Eggar, Griffin, and Thorson. John Vernon does a great job playing a pretentious, somewhat sleazy director willing to push his actresses to the edge. Samantha Eggar is fantastic as an aging actress trying to stay relevant, and her scenes with Vernon are great. While the other main actresses do well, Lynne Griffin and Linda Thorson stand out in performance and character. Griffin is sympathetic as a comedian-turned-actress struggling to be taken seriously, and Thorson shows plenty of vulnerability in her role. Like any good slasher, this one has memorable kills, the most famous being on a frozen lake. While none are particularly bloody, they’re shot and edited well.

    Unfortunately, the movie’s troubled production creeps in when certain characters and plot points are dropped. For instance, Samantha Eggar’s character somehow escapes the asylum, but we’re never shown how, but instead given a throwaway explanation. Also, without giving away any spoilers, the ultimate payoff feels so thrown together that it’s disappointing. That said, the theme of several young actresses willing to debase themselves for a role is still relevant today. These women will sleep with the director, endure humiliation, and be forced into uncomfortable situations just for a shot. While I’m sure this aspect was always intentional, the somewhat disjointed nature unintentionally makes the film stand out. Even if it’s not scary or bloody, it’s so bizarre and off-putting that it’s worth seeing. Overall, Curtains is confusing and disorienting, but the performances and unique kills make this a fascinating watch.

     

    Buy Curtains from Amazon: https://amzn.to/45gigdu.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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    Where to watch Curtains (1983)

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  • A Blade in the Dark (1983)

    A Blade in the Dark (1983)

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    The son of acclaimed Italian horror director Mario Bava, Lamberto Bava got his start working as his partner. He was an assistant director on Planet of the Vampires, Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs, and Danger: Diabolik. After a chance meeting with fellow filmmaker Pupi Avati, Lamberto made his directorial debut with Macabre in 1980. This led to Bava working with Ruggero Deodato on Cannibal Holocaust and Dario Argento on Inferno and Tenebre. While working with Argento, Lamberto was approached by writers Dardano Sacchetti and Elisa Briganti with a new project. The initial plan was to film four 30-minute segments for a TV miniseries, each ending with a murder. However, the censors deemed the series too gory for television, so Bava re-edited the material into a feature film. Following its 1983 Italian release, the film was released in the US as A Blade in the Dark in 1986.

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    Synopsis

    Bruno (Andrea Occhipinti) rents a villa from Tony Rendina (Michele Soavi) so he can work on a horror movie soundtrack. While staying at the villa, Bruno is visited by Katia (Valeria Cavalli), a neighbor who stops by without revealing why. Soon, a mysterious figure kills Katia with a box cutter, which Bruno doesn’t realize until he finds blood stains. He soon discovers her diary, which mentions Linda, a mysterious woman who leased the villa and disappeared soon after. Later surprise visits include his girlfriend Giulia (Lara Lamberti), Katia’s friend Angela (Fabiola Toledo), and his director Sandra (Anny Papa). Unfortunately, just as these women come by to see Bruno, they get killed more gruesomely than the last. Bruno starts uncovering more about the mysterious Linda and her connections to Sandra’s movie as the bodies pile up. Just who is Linda, and who is responsible for all these murders?

     

    Review

    I wouldn’t say A Blade in The Dark is one of the best giallos ever, but it’s a decent watch. Like any good Italian horror film, this one has plenty of gruesome kills involving box cutters, knives, and plastic bags. There’s plenty of bloody carnage, though none of the kills are memorable, like in Tenebre or The New York Ripper. Also, the cinematography is solid, with plenty of POV shots, contrasting shadows, and a few tracking shots. The music from Guido and Maurizio De Angelis, aka Oliver Onions, is catchy, even if the same theme plays throughout. The cast has a few memorable faces in Italian cinema, including Andrea Occhipinti, Giovanni Frezza, and future director Michele Soavi. Plus, at roughly about 90 minutes in length, the movie doesn’t take up too much time and gets out quickly. It’s a shame this is a pretty average giallo/slasher film.

    I’d say the movie’s biggest flaw is that, in between all the murder scenes, there’s tons of filler. There are many slow scenes of characters either fiddling with their equipment, swimming, or wandering around the villa. It doesn’t help that the sequences play out the same: a random woman visits, talks to Bruno, then gets killed. On top of that, we’re not given much character development, so there’s not as much impact when they die. I’m not saying every slasher film needs deep characterization, but this doesn’t give us much of anything. That said, as boring as this movie can be, it led to Lamberto Bava making more exciting genre fare. We wouldn’t have gotten incredible movies like Demons, Blastfighter, or Demons 2, so I give this film some credit. Overall, A Blade in The Dark has moments, but it’s best recommended for hardcore giallo fans.

     

    Buy A Blade in The Dark from Amazon: https://amzn.to/4aCbrIB.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at no additional cost, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and make a purchase.

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    Where to watch A Blade in the Dark (1983)

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  • Sleepaway Camp (1983)

    Sleepaway Camp (1983)

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    After graduating from NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts, Robert Hiltzik decided to start working on his first feature film. He decided to make a horror film since it was the cheapest to make and the easiest to sell. As a kid, Hiltzik had gone to Camp Algonquin in Argyle, NY, and thought it would be a great setting. His initial budget was $50,000, but he gained an additional $300,000 after his mother tragically died in a car accident. For the cast, he decided to cast teens aged 13-14 for the campers to add some authenticity. The movie was shot at Camp Algonquin during the off-season between September and October 1982 for five weeks. While there were a few known actors like Mike Kellin and Katherine Kamhi, everyone else would be making their debut. After a lengthy post-production phase, Sleepaway Camp had its New York premiere in November 1983.

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    Synopsis

    After surviving a boating accident as a child, Angela (Felissa Rose) is adopted by her Aunt Martha (Desiree Gould). She and her cousin Ricky (Jonathan Tiersten) are sent to Camp Arawak for the summer. While Ricky is very friendly and knows everyone, Angela is very introverted and never utters a word. This makes her the target of counselor Meg (Katherine Kamhi) and fellow camper Judy (Catherine Fields), who constantly torment her. To make matters worse, the head cook, Artie (Owen Hughes), almost molests Angela, only for Ricky to walk in. Shortly after, a mysterious figure knocks Artie over, causing a pot of boiling water to spill over his body. Soon, other campers wind up dead of bizarre circumstances, though the owner, Mel (Mike Kellin), wants to keep it hush-hush. Who is this mysterious killer, who will survive, and is Angela somehow connected with these murders?

     

    Review

    On the surface, Sleepaway Camp is no different from similar camp slashers like Friday the 13th or The Burning. This film stands out because of its homegrown feel, believable cast of memorable characters, and inventively unique kills. Despite not having a speaking line until the 30-minute mark, Felissa Rose is sympathetic and intense. It’s easy to feel bad for her when she’s getting picked on for seemingly no reason. But when she’s staring people down, her gaze is soul-piercing, and you know she’s up to something. Jonathan Tiersten is likable as Angela’s cousin, who’s trying to look out for her while spouting off numerous expletives. Karen Fields is another standout as the cartoonishly bitchy Judy, delivering her lines with an icy coldness. With his tiny red shorts, Paul DeAngelo is also memorable as the concerned head camp counselor. Also, Desiree Gould makes the most of her few scenes.

    While the kills aren’t all that gruesome, they’re unique and unlike anything seen in other slashers. These scenes are intense, whether it’s getting stung to death by bees or having boiling water dumped on your body. The effects were done by Ed French, who later earned an Oscar nomination for Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. Of course, it’s hard to talk about this movie without mentioning the ending, which I won’t reveal here. That said, it’s one of the most shocking endings in film history, though Robert Hiltzik cleverly hints at the twist. If I had any complaints, a few scenes go on too long, and some of the acting is questionable. Otherwise, this highly underrated slasher film should be talked about for more than just its twist ending. Overall, Sleepaway Camp is a humble horror film with a homegrown feel, memorable characters, and decent kills.

     

    Buy Sleepaway Camp from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3Nma1W5.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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    Where to watch Sleepaway Camp (1983)

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  • Cellar Dweller (1988)

    Cellar Dweller (1988)

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    Today, Don Mancini is known for creating the Child’s Play franchise, but long ago, he was a UCLA graduate. While coming up with the first film’s screenplay, Mancini caught Charles Band’s attention and got a job with Empire Pictures. As with most of the movies he produced, Band presented Mancini with a poster and a title to work with. Mancini delivered a script that crossed John Carpenter’s The Thing and Woody Allen’s The Purple Rose of Cairo. However, the screenplay as it was written would’ve been too ambitious for Empire, so Band had the script rewritten. After directing the minor hit Troll in 1986, John Carl Buechler adapted Mancini’s story for his second film. Ultimately, Mancini used the pseudonym Kit Du Bois and the film was shot on the sets used for The Caller. After premiering at MIFED in 1987, Cellar Dweller hit theaters worldwide in 1988.

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    Synopsis

    Comic book artist Colin Childress (Jeffrey Combs) sets himself on fire after one of his drawings spawns a demonic monster. Years later, aspiring artist Whitney Taylor (Debrah Farentino) enrolls in an art school run by Mrs. Briggs (Yvonne De Carlo). It turns out the school was built on the remains of Childress’ old house after burning to the ground. Whitney has come here specifically because she considers Colin her idol and wants to follow in his footsteps. Also attending the art school are Phillip (Brian Robbins), Amanda (Pamela Bellwood), Lisa (Miranda Wilson), and Norman (Vince Edwards). Soon, Whitney discovers that whenever she draws a comic strip with the Cellar Dweller, what she draws happens. Soon, the Cellar Dweller makes quick work of the other art students, whether or not Whitney wills it. Will she be able to stop it, or will she also fall victim to the Cellar Dweller?

     

    Review

    While it’s not on par with classics like Re-Animator or Trancers, Cellar Dweller is a perfectly watchable creature feature. The best thing about this movie is the central monster, designed by John Carl Buechler and played by Michael Deak. Admittedly, the monster doesn’t move much, but it looks fantastic and is among Buechler’s best works. Also, the concept of whatever the artist draws comes to life is pretty unique, though it’s never really explained. Debrah Farentino, credited by her maiden name Mullowney, does an excellent job as an aspiring comic artist. Classic actress Yvonne De Carlo gives a decent performance that’s about on par with her performance in Play Dead. It’s always a pleasure to see Jeffrey Combs in a movie, even for only the first ten minutes. Another noteworthy cast member is Vince Edwards, who starred in Stanley Kubrick’s The Killing and the long-running series Ben Casey.

    Pamela Bellwood is entertainingly bitchy as Debrah’s rival, and her death scene is pretty satisfying. The gore effects are equally strong, with the highlight being a decapitation scene done in slow motion. Cinematographer Sergio Salvati, who previously worked with Lucio Fulci, does a great job emulating a vintage horror comic. The score by Carl Dante, who also scored Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity, isn’t terrible, but it’s not particularly memorable. That’s honestly the best way to describe this film: not wrong by any means, but not all that memorable. With its 78-minute runtime, the movie gets in and out fairly quickly, though the last act feels like a rush. If you’re in the mood for a decent creature feature, this is a decent watch, but there are better options. Overall, Cellar Dweller is an underrated, if unremarkable, gem in Empire’s catalog.

     

    Buy Cellar Dweller from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3PLOxV8.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell (1981)

    Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell (1981)

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    Originally from Latvia, Ito Rebane, later renamed Bill Rebane, became a staple of cult cinema in the 60s and 70s. After working with producer Adalbert Baltes, Rebane sold his first independent production, the short Twist Craze, to American International Pictures. In 1961, Rebane decided to try his hand at feature filmmaking and started shooting Terror at Halfday in 1963. Unfortunately, he ran out of money and sold his footage to Herschell Gordon Lewis, creating the notorious Monster A Go-Go. In the later 1960s, Rebane purchased a ranch in Gleason, Wisconsin, which became his new studio, The Shooting Ranch. He shot numerous low-budget sci-fi/horror films there, most notably 1975’s The Giant Spider Invasion and 1987’s Blood Harvest. Rebane also made Rana: The Legend of Shadow Lake in 1975, but that film wouldn’t be released until 1981. The film was retitled Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell and eventually sold to Troma.

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    Synopsis

    Kelly Morgan (Glenn Scherer) and his girlfriend Chris (Doreen Moze) go to his childhood home at Shadow Lake. While there, he tells her about how a strange creature attacked him and his family when he was 11. We flashback to young Kelly Morgan (Brad Ellingson) at the homestead with his dad John (Alan Ross). At the lake, they meet a paleontologist named Elli (Karen McDiarmid) and her niece Susan (Julie Wheaton). Kelly brings them a strange bone he found, and Elli deduces that it came from a type of fish creature. Little do they know that said fish creature, locally known as “Rana,” is lurking around the surrounding woods. Rana attacks and kills a couple of sleazy loggers before making his way to Kelly and company. Now an adult, Kelly wants to find the creature’s lair to get revenge, but he’s unprepared for what he’ll find.

     

    Review

    Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell is one of many movies where the cover art is better than the actual movie. You look at the cover and its title, and it sounds like something akin to Humanoids from the Deep. Sadly, we get nothing nearly as gruesome and sleazy as Roger Corman’s movie about human-fish monsters running amok. Sure, some of the acting isn’t half bad, and there are some fun kill scenes, but it’s mostly boring. Much of the screen time is just dialogue, and most of it is either exposition or inane banter. Even when something menacing happens, no one seems to react or even care what’s happening. Granted, things do pick up once the creature shows up and starts killing people, but it doesn’t improve things much. Plus, the framing device ruins any suspense the movie might’ve otherwise had since we know that Kelly survives.

    Given the previous work of Bill Rebane, the fact that the movie looks so cheap shouldn’t come as a surprise. That said, there are plenty of cheaply-made B-movies whose low budget adds to their charm, such as Nightbeast. Sure, the middle act was slow, but the first and third acts were so ridiculous that they compensated for it. In this movie, the few kill scenes with the creature don’t make up for the slow parts. It doesn’t help that many of these scenes are so darkly lit that it’s hard to see what’s happening. Even at 86 minutes, it feels like the movie is dragging its feet to try and reach feature length. While there are certainly worse creature features, this is a dull affair best enjoyed with some substances. Overall, Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell isn’t one of the worst movies ever, but it’s not the best.

     

    Buy Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell from Amazon: https://amzn.to/4pPnoj0.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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    Where to watch Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell (1981)

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  • The Creeps (1997)

    The Creeps (1997)

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    While many of his decisions stumbled, Charles Band would now and then be at the forefront of something big. He founded one of the first home video companies and was the first to film in post-Communist Romania. In the mid-90s, Band saw that Hi-Def was becoming a big thing, so he decided to jump on the opportunity. He announced a slate of 3D movies ready for the Hi-Def revolution but might have overestimated Hi-Def’s potential. One of these movies, Secrets of the Micromen, never got made, and another called Horrorvision.com came out years later. Band was no stranger to 3D, having previously directed Parasite 3D and Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn in the 1980s. Neal Marshall Stevens, who wrote Head of the Family and Hideous! under the pseudonym Benjamin Carr, penned the script. While it was planned for a 3D release, The Creeps got a 2D release in 1997.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”50″ bar_bg_color=”#E09900″ _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    While working in the Rare Books section of the university library, Anna Quarrels (Rhonda Griffin) is approached by Mr. Jamison. He asks if he could study the original manuscript of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, which he switches out for a fake. After discovering the false manuscript, Anna hires David Raleigh (Justin Lauer), a private investigator/video store owner, to investigate. He finds that Mr. Jamison is Dr. Winston Berber (Bill Moynihan), a mad scientist who’s stolen other rare manuscripts. He aims to use them with his “Archetype Inducer” machine to bring four of fiction’s greatest monsters to life. Unfortunately for the doctor, Anna and David retrieve the manuscripts while the monsters are being created, which has unintended results. The Mummy (Joe Smith), The Wolfman (Jon Simanton), Frankenstein’s Monster (Thomas Wellington), and Dracula (Phil Fondacaro) are all pint-sized! Will Berber restore them to full size, or will our heroes stop them?

     

    Review

    If you ever wondered what the Universal Monsters would be like as dwarves, then The Creeps is for you. It’s no secret that Charles Band has an affinity for tiny terrors, usually puppets or miniature demons. Some might find it suspect that the central gimmick is having miniature versions of classic monsters, especially for the time. Thankfully, Charles Band and Benjamin Carr were smart enough not to cram in a bunch of short jokes. Each beast, Dracula in particular, is taken seriously and given familiar but different looks that help set them apart. Phil Fondacaro effortlessly gives the best performance in the film as Dracula, given plenty of monologues to showcase his talents. Unfortunately, the other monsters are given little more than grunts and growls instead of dialogue and deep characterization. They still look like Laurence Olivier when compared to the regular human cast.

    Rhonda Griffin from Hideous! is given the lead but falls short of delivering a quality performance. She comes off as ditzy, whiny, and annoying, making it hard to care when she’s in peril. Justin Lauer plays a stereotypical movie geek/amateur womanizer who mostly spouts off titles of obscure exploitation movies. Bill Moynihan certainly tries as the over-the-top mad scientist, but Phil Fondacaro and his fellow monsters easily overshadow him. Full Moon veteran cinematographer Adolfo Bartoli gives the film style with colored lights and harsh shadows. Given that this was intended to be a 3D movie, there aren’t any moments where objects come toward the camera. At 80 minutes long, the film gets in and out fairly quickly, though it does drag to reach that length. Overall, The Creeps isn’t a bad choice for monster movie fans, but don’t expect anything all that special.

     

    Buy The Creeps from Amazon: https://amzn.to/43YALCK.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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  • Buy & Cell (1989)

    Buy & Cell (1989)

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    Originally from New York City, Robert Boris has been a writer/director for TV and movies since the early 1970s. His earliest credits included 1973’s Electra Glide in Blue and 1982’s Some Kind of Hero, starring Richard Pryor. Boris won the WGA Award for Original/Adapted Multi-Part Long Form Series for the 1983 made-for-TV movie Blood Feud. In 1984, Boris made his directorial debut with Oxford Blues, the first starring role for a then up-and-coming Rob Lowe. He followed this up with the 1987 action film Steele Justice, which got the attention of Frank Yablans. In 1987, Yablans and Charles Band produced The Caller, the first of two movies they shot back-to-back at Dinocitta. That same year, Yablans hired Boris to direct a prison-set comedy starring Robert Carradine, Michael Winslow, and Malcolm McDowell. Due to Empire Pictures filing for bankruptcy, Buy & Cell wouldn’t be released until early 1989.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”50″ bar_bg_color=”#E09900″ _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    Herbie Altman (Robert Carradine) is sentenced to serve 13 years for stock fraud after being framed by his former boss. He meets with Warden Tennant (Malcolm McDowell), who wants him to help make some investments and make him rich. Altman refuses, so he’s placed in his cell with the smooth-talking hustler Sly (Michael Winslow), who has some outstanding debts. Sly owes $25,000 to fellow inmates Cowboy (Roddy Piper) and Raoul (Tony Plana), so Altman offers to help. Not only does he help Sly pay off his debts, but Altman decides to form his own company, Con Inc. With the help of prison therapist Dr. Ellen Scott (Lise Cutter), Herbie and the other inmates become wealthy investors. Soon, the warden wants a piece of the action, so he and Altman join forces to one-up Altman’s old boss. But whether it’s finances or prison, Herbie can’t catch a break.

     

    Review

    Buy & Cell isn’t what you would expect from an Empire Pictures film, which isn’t necessarily bad. Unfortunately, this is a comedy that forgot to be funny since most of the jokes fall flat. This is one of many slobs vs. snobs movies popular in the 80s, like Caddyshack and Police Academy. Sadly, by this point, the formula had gone stale, and they just weren’t as funny as they used to be. It doesn’t help that the “comedy” starts roughly 40 minutes in, as the first act is deadly serious. Just the fact that this supposedly zany comedy begins with a gag involving a suicide attempt is jarring. Even when the humor does kick in, there’s never a moment where I let out anything more than a chuckle. That said, a few lines here and there caught me off guard, so that counts for something.

    It’s a shame the film isn’t funny because the cast can deliver laughs in other movies. Robert Carradine, aka Lewis in Revenge of the Nerds, makes for a decent lead and works as the straight man. As always, Malcolm McDowell plays a great villain, and it’s fun seeing him get his comeuppance at the end. Michael Winslow, famous for his sound effects in Police Academy, has sadly run out of steam here. While he doesn’t always make his trademark sounds, it’s pretty clear it was a one-note schtick that’s run its course. The cast also features great character actors like Roddy Piper, Randall ‘Tex’ Cobb, Ben Vereen, and Tony Plana. They do their best to make this 95-minute comedy work, but the material doesn’t give them much to work with. Overall, Buy & Cell is a forgettable comedy with little to offer besides a decent cast.

     

    Buy Buy & Cell from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3JGQrpM.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at no additional cost, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and make a purchase.

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    Where to watch Buy & Cell (1989)

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  • Demented Death Farm Massacre (1972)

    Demented Death Farm Massacre (1972)

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    From the late 1960s to the mid-1970s, Donn Davison made a name for himself in the exploitation scene. After getting his start working on various roadshows, he decided to pursue filmmaking after receiving encouragement from Ron Ormond. In 1968, Davison released Moonshiner’s Woman, which he wrote, produced, directed, and starred in, to great success. Davison followed this up with the 1971 hicksploitation film Shantytown Honeymoon, which was rereleased as Honey Britches in 1972. Afterward, Davison started doing promotions for Film Ventures International, an independent company founded in 1968 that went bankrupt in 1985. Years later, exploitation filmmaker Fred Olen Ray acquired the rights to the film and inserted new footage of John Carradine. The new scenes had Carradine as “The Judge of Hell,” who narrates throughout the film as it goes on. Ray sold the movie to Troma, who released it as Demented Death Farm Massacre in 1986.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”40″ bar_bg_color=”#E09900″ _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    Jewel thieves Phillip (Jim Peck), Kirk (Michael Battlesmith), Karen (Trudy Moore), and Suzanne (Pepper Thurston) are on the run. While driving through the remote Carolinas, their Jeep runs out of gas, so they ditch it and find shelter. They come across local moonshiner Horlon P. Craven (George Ellis) and his young wife Reba Sue (Ashley Brooks). It’s not long until the thieves take advantage of their hospitality, with Kirk moving in on Horlon’s wife. During a scuffle, Reba Sue accidentally kills Karen, which leads to the other thieves threatening Horlon. Phillip and Kirk plan on taking over Horlon’s moonshine business and a supposed fortune that he has hidden away. Soon, the temptations of the diamonds, moonshine, and Reba Sue lead to the thieves’ downfall at Horlon’s hands. Who will survive and strike it rich from this demented death farm massacre? No one but The Judge of Hell (John Carradine) knows.

     

    Review

    Admittedly, Demented Death Farm Massacre is a movie whose backstory is more interesting than the movie itself. Hell, reading through a list of the film’s alternative titles is funnier than any of the gags in the movie. In addition to Shantytown Honeymoon and Honey Britches, there’s also Hillbilly Hooker, Honey Pie, and Little Whorehouse on the Prairie. That last title makes me wonder if the makers of Little House on the Prairie tried suing the filmmakers. Aside from the backstory and the many alternative titles, this is a barely watchable slice of 1970s exploitation trash. Granted, you shouldn’t go into a movie like this expecting something like The Godfather, but this one is rough. The story is paper-thin, none of the characters are likable, and it’s relatively light on the exploitation. Sure, there’s some blood and scantily clad women, but it’s not nearly as sleazy as its title suggests.

    It says a lot about the acting when John Carradine, who only has five minutes of screen time, performs best. Granted, he looks confused and was only added after the fact, but he’s at least committed to the material. Everyone else is loud, obnoxious, scummy, or stupid, with everyone mugging for the camera, especially Ashley Brooks. Admittedly, George Ellis is mildly entertaining as the Bible-thumping moonshiner who loves to call women “whores” and “tramps.” Jim Peck tries adding a bit of class with his performance as ringleader Phillip, but even he can’t save it. Much of the film consists of boring talking scenes, characters stumbling around, or poorly-staged fights. There are a few unintentionally funny moments at an hour and twenty-five minutes, but most of it is a slog. Overall, Demented Death Farm Massacre might be worth a watch if you’re curious, but it’s best left forgotten.

     

    Buy Demented Death Farm Massacre from Amazon: https://amzn.to/43RhTph.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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    Where to watch Demented Death Farm Massacre (1972)

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  • Deadly Daphne’s Revenge (1987)

    Deadly Daphne’s Revenge (1987)

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    In its nearly 50-year history, Troma has become infamous for many things, including mismarketing some of its films. For instance, they tried selling Combat Shock as an all-out action film when it’s more of a character study. There was also The Dead Come Home, which they sold as a horror-comedy called Dead Dudes in the House. Other times, they’ll retitle a film, such as You Better Watch Out being retitled as Christmas Evil. Thankfully, Troma never recuts or reedits the films, but the mismarketing can lead to confusion. Such is the case with The Hunting Season, a rape-revenge film from Orange County by writer/director/star Richard Gardner. While the movie was initially released around 1979-1981, Troma acquired the rights and released it on VHS in 1987. Since then, the film has been rereleased on DVD and Blu-ray with the title Deadly Daphne’s Revenge.

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_circle_counter title=”Rating” number=”50″ bar_bg_color=”#E09900″ _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_circle_counter][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.21.0″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Synopsis

    Charlie Johnson (Anthony Holt) and his friends Steve (Richard Gardner), Bruce, and Bobo are taking a weekend RV trip. Along the way, they pick up seventeen-year-old hitchhiker Cindy (Laurie Tait Partridge), who’s immediately put off by Charlie’s bigotry. She confides in Steve and even makes love to him, but Charlie and Bobo rape her after he leaves. Steve confronts Charlie the following day while Cindy runs off to try and press charges against Charlie. While her lawyer Starke can help her, Cindy is reluctant because he insists they prosecute all four men, including Steve. Charlie and Bobo get arrested, and while they’re eventually let out, the story spreads like wildfire across town. Steve loses his high school coaching job, Bruce kills himself over the guilt, and Cindy is second-guessing her decision. Little do they know that a woman from Charlie’s past named Daphne is seeking her deadly revenge!

     

    Review

    Mismarketing aside, Deadly Daphne’s Revenge is one of the weirdest rape-revenge movies I’ve ever seen. Rather than going the I Spit on Your Grave route of the attackers getting killed, this becomes a legal drama. While it’s unique, you wouldn’t expect a sleazy exploitation movie to turn into The Accused years before that came out. It’s interesting to see this obscure exploitation film tackle issues of double standards and victim blaming in a nuanced way. Unfortunately, whatever points the filmmakers tried to make are outdone by the acting, which ranges from mediocre to ridiculously over-the-top. Anthony Holt, in particular, is so stereotypically hateful that it comes off as one-note, which clashes with the serious tone. Laurie Tait Partridge is decent, and it’s easy to root for her, but she doesn’t leave much of an impression. Also, the titular Daphne gets her revenge but doesn’t appear until the last 10 minutes.

    The rest of the cast is largely forgettable, although a pre-Fresh Prince of Bel-Air James Avery has a minor role. Aside from that, I’ve touched on just about everything there is to say about this movie. While the rape scene is appropriately disturbing, the revenge aspect is very unsatisfying and lacks the punch of similar films. There’s nothing on par with a crossbow-wielding Linda Blair in Savage Streets or architect-turned-vigilante Charles Bronson in Death Wish. Sure, the filmmakers handled the subject matter more objectively, which is commendable, but it could’ve been better. I can only imagine Troma fans’ disappointment when they popped this in the VCRs back in the day. It doesn’t help that they were probably confused about why the lead woman wasn’t named Daphne like the title. Overall, Deadly Daphne’s Revenge is a film whose title is more interesting than the actual movie.

     

    Buy Deadly Daphne’s Revenge from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3IC39lV.

    Disclosure: The above link is an affiliate link, which means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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